Tearing my hair out over State boarding

[Teddingtonmum1]

As I'm a single mum with a demanding job , I have decided to look into state boarding preferably weekly if I can get my ds a place . Christs hospital is my number 1 choice due to the bursary and it's a great school ( my brother is an old blue so slightly biased ) am also looking at RAAs in Reigate and Gordon's in Woking got open days at both saturday and next thursday out of the 2 would prefer Gordon's as a fall back if we cant get into CH , but have been advised that I can claim tax credits towards the 'childcare ' bill .

Have quizzed Gordon's as to chances of getting in I live in teddington so the right side of London but they said it obviously depends on siblings etc .( no really fair if you only have one can see why there's sibling priority in primary but not at secondary as kids get themselves to school but those are the rules ) am a little hopeful to read someone got in last year from east London ? any thoughts about gordons ??? im just about tearing my hair out as need a boarding place otherwise my sond going to be forced to become a latch key kid which I don't want HELP !!!!

Actually your ds would probably get a better education at Teddington than at Reeds ...

What's got people's backs up is your insistence that a) your ds can't possibly do what thousands of other secondary school children do - spend an hour or two on their own after school; b) your dismissal of one of the most sought after comprehensives in London and c) your weird sense of entitlement

Hmm RSVP I only see one person using profanity here , I don't want to send my child to teddington some people love it some people hate it , there's this thing called choice ( well except if your in teddington of course ) and as a parent I am exercising that right to choose and I choose not to 'manage ' at teddington but to see what else is out there what works for you may not work for me we all have different children who suit different things so if that's rude to you so be.

I wouldnt want my children spending hours alone every day. I grew up like this. When i was younger i was lonely and when a little older i got up to trouble. My mum had little clue of where or with whom i was with. I would choose boarding school over this.

You don't get it do you OP? We had no choice when my DDs were 4 or 11, only of schools judged failing so I worked to pay the fees. When my DD was sitting the Kingston Grammar School exam one dad with a couple of toddlers was looking lost and asked me where I could take his toddlers. We sat on Fairfields and his story made me cry. His DS's teacher had entered his DS and paid their entrance fees, and I would have done so too, and paid their fare. Presumably you would dismiss him as "dire" but it is precisely those bright kids the bursaries are designed to help. Maybe you will be lucky and the pupils most in need don't get considered but ..........

Teddington please do not be negative about your local school as your ds may end up there and you may have to sort out some after school activities etc - I would also explore those possibilities now so you don't have a panick if the boarding schools don't work out.

If your ds gets turned down for CH on the 2nd assessment would you still board him elsewhere? A lot of that assessment is based on whether they think each child is suited to boarding, it really isn't for everyone.

Interesting - the whole after school care thing has somehow vanished........

OP, It's worth remembering that if your child does get a boarding place at CH you'll have exceptionally long holidays to cater for - two months in the summer, four weeks at Christmas and Easter, and an extra-long two week half term in October. And I think they finish school at about 1pm on Fridays for leave weekends every three weeks, so you'll need to factor in whether you can take time off work to pick up your son, or whether he can travel home and look after himself alone. A friend of mine has sent her child to CH, and the holidays are a real struggle, especially as her DD has few local friends to socialise with while she's at home. Most of the affordable care/ activities she's found are linked to the state school provision and operate only during their shorter holidays.

If you're really concerned about your DS being a latch key kid, you might be better served by sending him to a good state day school which offers after-school and holiday activities, and where he'll develop a good network of friends to socialise with outside school as he gets into his teens.

Feel.sorry for this lad.

His dad doesnt want him at home and neither does his mum.

That's a harsh and very judgemental remark MortifiedAdams. It seems to me that the OP and her partner are each very concerned to do what they think will be best for their son in their particular circumstances. Choosing a boarding school can involve huge emotional (and financial!) commitment, and certainly doesn't signify simply that a parent doesn't want their child at home.

I dont nake that remark to all parents of boarders - I make it of the OPs situation only.

Her reasons for boarding are absoloutley unfounded, are, it seems to me, a matter of sheer convenience to her alone, and not for the benefit of her son and his education.

"If you're really concerned about your DS being a latch key kid, you might be better served by sending him to a good state day school which offers after-school and holiday activities, and where he'll develop a good network of friends to socialise with outside school as he gets into his teens."

Absolutely. But she isn't. The latch key stuff is just smoke and mirrors.

OP I'm not getting drawn into this slanging match. All I will say is that we choose to send one of our DS's to a full boarding school and have done since yr 2 despite having an ofstead outstanding top performing comp with spaces and a band new building on our doorstep. I have never regretted it. It's simply better. But if you work full time and are worried about child care for a yr 7 child do think about the long holiday, exeats as a full boarding school CH will most likely have one every half a term and inconvenient pick up times ours ranges from 9 am through till 4 PM in the weekday. All fine if like me you have a flexible job or someone to help but problematic if you of a 9 ish to 5 ish job Mon to Frid. As you live in London you probably have good public transport links; we don't, but it's still a bit much to expect a 11 yr old to bring home on his own two suitcases, a tuck box, lap top, and sports bag.
Good luck I hope you find somewhere.

I can honestly say though that most (perhaps all) state schools do just not compare once you've seen the likes of CH, the facilities, the opportunites, the extra curricular stuff, the ethos, the support they get. I really wish I could afford my younger dc to go to a good private school sadly the local state schools just do not compare

"I really wish I could afford my younger dc to go to a good private school sadly the local state schools just do not compare "

You do realise that this is a rather silly thing to say, don't you?

Why?

Our local state school is AWFUL in terms of facilities, extra activities and results the only good thing is that they can walk there!

And if they had the money a private school had..........

And if they selected pupils the way private schools do..........

But that isn't reality is it, the reality is that my dc will be at a pretty shitty school with lots of pupils that have appalling behaviour. I am very grateful it has improved enough that they now have more that 7 pupils sitting GCSE french, geography and history...

It's very difficult to work hard and try and achieve when you're in the minority.

It's very difficult to work hard and try and achieve when you're in the minority.

Indeed. I doubt anyone's watching "Educating Yorkshire" and not thinking "you know, I'd sell a kidney to keep my children out of this school".

I had a couple of friends who had horrendous times at secondary because of that sort of thing, they were the only people to put their hands up / answer questions / show any interest in learning and being educated. Sorry but I'm not happy that dc2 is having to endure that sort of environment. I went to decent secondary school in an area where very very few go to private school, I now live in an area that is incredibly wealthy and the difference in secondary school results is astounding

But the point is that the OP's available state school is not like that.

And actually, I would be very happy for my children to be in the charge of the teachers in Educating Yorkshire. And I wouldn't like them to be in the charge of some private school teachers I know.....

The point I made though is when you've seen a fantastic school like CH is most secondary schools are going to seem like a poor relation even if academically they are good. It's hard not to set your heart on something especially if your child wants it too.

And actually, I would be very happy for my children to be in the charge of the teachers in Educating Yorkshire

Which isn't quite the same thing as actually being at the school, is it?

Absolutely. So why not say so, instead of spinning a load of baloney about latch key kids?

Random - if the only choice open to the op's ds was a school like you're describing then she'd have got a lot more sympathy ... However her local state option is not like that at all ...