Guilt Free Railing 5

[WouldBeGood]

Just in case railing remains required.

Don't think of that as your problem. If you end up being off for months or a year your employer will have to put something in place to deal with that. It's not your issue to resolve.

@WaxOnFeckOff but you won't be in a worse position. You're mental health will have improved and that will make a big difference to how you cope

@WaxOnFeckOff hugs.

Dh thought he'd have a week off. It's taken a lot to change his mindset over it not being a target to return but to relax and accept what his body is telling him. He's worked 36 years with little time off. So it's a huge thing if you are rarely off.

@WouldBeGood you ds will be back to school after Easter.

@Groovee thanks!! Hurray! I was scared to look

@WaxOnFeckOff sending some hugs your way

I understand what you mean about work to a certain extent as I grew up with both parents in same situation on multiple occasions.

Please take it easy and don’t go back until you are ready.

[quote latissimusdorsi]@WaxOnFeckOff but you won't be in a worse position. You're mental health will have improved and that will make a big difference to how you cope [/quote]
True, but I guess part of the issue is that they've changed the way we work and reduced staff but the expected savings in time aren't happening, we have 2 vacancies on top of the reduction and another person who's been off for about 9 months. I just can't see that the situation will be any different even if my ability to cope is better.

I also appreciate that me being off will make it worse. I get the impression that I'm not the only one struggling and morale is poor.

On Sunday night I was really bad as obviously Monday is a work day, even though I am signed off and it was a bank holiday. Logic doesn't seem to figure.

It takes a long time to unravel your subconscious responses to work I think.

I've left the job that caused my stress, but I still wake up in the middle of the night with a feeling of dread; then I remember I don't work there any more! My self-esteem might never recover though to be honest.

I've been looking to see if I can afford to retire early but unlikely and looking at other employment options but not much about and would mean a significant pay cut.

Friend has told me to try to alter my routine as I'm basically still following the same structure of the day but just not switching on the laptop.

Thanks all for the kind thoughts.

Hi @WaxOnFeckOff and sorry you’ve been feeling so bad. It’s really horrible.

Oh waxon. Really sorry to hear that Again, others have given much better practical advice than I could, but I do understand how it is difficult to "switch off" and how you picture everything going on in the background building up without you there. But, yes, that is your employer's issue, and your job is to get better.

@WaxOnFeckOff

I've been looking to see if I can afford to retire early but unlikely and looking at other employment options but not much about and would mean a significant pay cut.

Friend has told me to try to alter my routine as I'm basically still following the same structure of the day but just not switching on the laptop.

Thanks all for the kind thoughts.

That's great advice from your friend. I did the same; still got up, showered, dressed, etc, then sat holding some kind of vigil until it was time to put the tea on.

I wish I'd given myself long lies and afternoon naps and permission to read in bed all day if I'd wanted. I think I felt I'd lose control somehow if I relaxed 'too' much somehow. It makes no sense looking back.

Thanks folks, you really are very kind. I'm going to try to do a wee bit of tidying. I'm trying to do a little bit of something every day so I feel I've achieved something however small. Tiny steps and all that jazz.

Sorry to hear this @runningpink & WaxOnFeckOff wish you both well. Mental health is so serious those who have been there totally understand.
I was in Investment Banking for 10 yrs after Uni. When our children came along the work stress was too much. I retrained as a Veterinarian best move ever.

I'm sorry to hear this @WaxOnFeckOff I've been in a similar position and it's shit. I echo what @UnderHisAye said. Actually take the time and try not to worry about work. I just worried all the time about it all the time and It did me no good. Do the stuff you have wanted to but couldn't because too busy. Read, tidy, organise cupboards. Download the headspace app as well. That's pretty good.

@Myfrenchfriend best retraining I've ever heard of! 😍

Thank you @for my DF encouraged me to follow him. He did forgive me eventually 😜 my heart was always with animals. NF above.

@waxonfeckoff oh I know the dread feeling well and the still based around laptop!
I was signed off work from January for 6 weeks after my miscarriage but was still having the I will be behind and colleagues picking up my work feeling. My colleagues only cared that I was OK and all my work was managed for me.
Seeing a counsellor has been helping me with processing everything (I'm suffering from trauma from it all) but also realising that I don't need to juggle everything in the air that it is possible for me to walk away.

Can definitely recommend having a walk or two planned with a friend during the week and finding a walk that you drive to. It forced me to get out of the house and once there actually did me the world of good not talking about work or anything.

Make sure you take the time to get yourself better it's really important it's far better for you to be in a good place then go back before your ready and struggling. I ended up extending every 2 weeks and then on a phased return to work (before getting ill with covid) and it was the best thing for me.

I hope you feel better soon @WaxOnFeckOff, but definitely don't rush back to work. Apart from anything else, it's far better to have one long period of consecutive illness, than go back too soon and end up off again.

Although the end is close, it just feels relentless this time round. There's nothing fun to distract you if work is rubbish and even putting plans in for say outdoor drinks post 26th April or a night away end of May seems reckless and not worth getting excited about in case they get cancelled.

Friends and I - ooh three of us in one car how naughty- hit the garden centres. If anyone had told me 13 months ago that I'd be queueing in Siberian temperatures to get into a garden centre and what's more be mildly excited about it as it's less shit than last birthday, I'd have laughed in their face. But here we are. Nice outside lunch at Dalkeith country park - can highly recommend the prawn tacos - apart from fingers nearly falling off from hypothermia and wind blowing our food away every now and again.

To Wax, running, Ski and anyone else in the same bost: recovering from mental health issues is a slow drag. There is no quick fix, like antibiotics!
Your work will cope without you - scary but true. You need to look after number one. If you don't, who will? You are your main priority. Remember the old MN favourite, "you can't pour from an empty jug". Do what you need to do, and don't apologise to anyone for it.
Sending strength to all who need it.

Rookie I do think it's the relentless of it that is getting to people. Many people who postponed Christmas had Easter as the next mile stone and were thinking they'd have indoor family get together then.
Easter has come and gone and we still don't know when we can have dinner together.

Families will not stay apart after the vaccine.

I actually can't argue against my fairly fit DM visiting a couple of other less fit relatives. They've all had the vaccine. And I know it's doing her MH a wonder of good.

I'm so sorry to those who are struggling I hope there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Today my friend who I haven't seen since august came to visit. It was going to be a garden visit but it was snowing so I invited her in. It was so nice for her to meet the baby, have a chat and she played with ds1 for a while
It's been a couple of weeks now since my dm & step dad were vaccinated so I think I'll just be having more visitors to meet the baby now. He was squealing with excitement to see a different face, wee soul.

shouldistop remember that with a child under 1 you are allowed a support bubble. And if your folks are vaccinated then it makes perfect sense.

I think pressure will mount for SG to open things sooner than 27th. I'm fingers crossed that shops open soon.

I was just thinking, would a wee separate thread on Scotsnet specifically for us to discuss our MH battles, support each other, share little achievements, goals etc be an idea?

I know there is a MH board in health but I feel like one here could be good for us Scots.

Let me know and I’ll set one up if enough interest

I think that's a great idea @runningpink and I'm sure you'll have lots of contributors. I barely look on any other boards on here at the minute.

I hope you had a good sleep and are feeling well today