How do you describe being a stay-at-home mum to others?

[Stillhoping1990]

What do you say when people ask when are you going back to work or what do you do for work? Do you just say I’m a stay at home mum? Or is there another way of saying it? I’m always finding I need to then go on to justify my choice etc. A friend of mine calls herself a ‘home maker’.

Try “I’m at home with the children”

I do cringe when people ask another “what do you do” early on in acquaintance

lol,so you’re not a parent when your kids are at school,? When they go to uni, or leave home, you stop being a parent? Kicks back in when they come home for a visit does it? 😂

"Official bog cleaner"
Or
"Lady who lunches"
Depending on if I want to piss them off or not haha

Of course you are a parent for life and you are a grandparent for life, whether you are there all the time or part of the time.

Result 👏

LOL! 😆 You are always a parent. You are always a grandparent. It doesn't matter how much of time you are there. The initial question raised was how to differentiate the description between the parent available 24/7 or one with other commitments who may not always be present.

So if I only work while the children are either at school or asleep in bed.... Presumably then I past the test and qualify as a full time mum ?
Or would I need to homeschool my children?

Why such aggression? The OP asked what people call themselves as a stay at home mum. I gave my answer. I don't tell you how to describe yourself. Why are are so belligerently trying to tell me how I should describe myself...... bully much??

But it isn't a job.

I envy your simplicity. If you give up everything to do this, including a full time job, how would you describe it? .....is it just a woman's role?

If a woman with no children didnt have a job outside the home and devoted all her time to looking after her husband does that make her a full time wife but somebody who works is only a part time wife. Of course not. It's s a role not a job.

Its not aggression, just curiousity.
Genuinely, I want to understand how you distinguish someone who only works while the children are at school (Does all pick ups and drop offs etc and after school care) from someone who doesn't work while their children are at school? What makes one a full time mum and not the other? Or are they both full time mums?

I used to say: I have a 24/7 job as a mother.

I think you’re right that people might be envious . I went back to work after 5 months. Boy was I glad though that I had a lucrative career when my husband left. Just make sure you have a plan B.

Every one is a full time mum, in the sense they always a mum and their children come first. Rarely does someone who works full time, have the opportunity to drop off at school time at 8.30 and pick up at 3.30 and stay away from work for the rest of the day. When I worked full time, I was in the office by 8.30 at the latest and home at around 9pm. As I said before, this is all irrelevant. The OP was asking how to describe herself as someone who stays at home to look after her children. How would YOU describe this?

Say that you run a small company. (You do; the household and its members.) When they ask what the company does, say it provides services in admin, personal care, cleaning, cooking, life coaching, and chauffeuring.

Regardless of child status, I envy any woman who doesn't have to work because she has a good marriage and a husband she can rely on. My marriage did not work out that way. As I struggle under a heavy workload and a weekly avalanche of meetings and deadlines and admin, not to mention the twice-yearly performance reviews, it feels very unfair that some women get to be supported by their husbands. Especially when you have a bad night's sleep or just feel exhausted from peri, but you have to be raring to go and to perform anyway at 9 am. Part of me feels that if many other women have that, I should have it too, since they're no better than me.

I know that's irrational, since everyone has their problems, but feelings often are irrational. And I know it's because I made a bad choice of marriage partner.

Once the children are at school, and assuming they don't have any disabilities, I don't think there's any way that being a SAHP can hold a candle to how exhausting and difficult full-time work is. The only downside I can see is that it might be boring sometimes. But my job is sometimes boring too.

Some PP have said they are never going to work again. Plenty of women have lived to regret that in later life.

And don't get me started on the dozens of emails daily from my boss and the constant need to impress.

I hope women who don't have to work appreciate their good luck!

I disagree.

Someone "is" a lawyer/teacher/postie/shop assistant no matter how many days they work. They're not a "part-time teacher". They're a teacher who works part-time.

If your description were accurate then someone who worked 12hrs a day, 5 days a week would be a full-time, say, CEO and therefore, presumably a full-time parent because they would actually spend more hours at home than at work! Most people don't work that much and do have more hours at home than at work.

What's the equation you use to work out whether someone is in a full-time job and why are the hours out of the house worth more than the hours inside it?

So once the kids are school aged, mums who don’t work are also part time mums right? They aren’t with them all day after all…

It’s your your role. Your life choice, like being a wife or a husband or a dad. It’s not a job.

Lots of people work part time and work this pattern. Most of my team work this pattern. They don't do extra work in the evenings.
I did stay full time doing the extra work once the children were in bed (essentially just losing "me time") because the nature of my job meant that worked fine

Op has decided how she will describe herself.

I am asking you whether someone who only works during school hours counts in your estimation as a "full time mum"? Or do SAHMs become "part time mums" once their children are in school?

It’s an odd debate isn’t it. And it does appear sahm throwing some grenades at working mothers on here. So clearly a sensitivity in place.

everyone should own their life choices. Whatever works for you. Describe yourself as you please, I think what people are pointing out is if you get a big weird with it, stating your lucky, a full time mum, or a house technician many people will inwardly roll their eyes at you.

just own it, I don’t work. I stay at home with the kids, I’m a house wife. There should be no value judgement about it, not arrows thrown at working mothers, no pretending it’s something it’s not and no shame or embarassment associated with it when speaking to a working woman. No one will judge you unless you decide to be weird about it.

Me too. And a 37.5/ 5 job as something else 😂

When I was a SAHM I said;

"I am a stay at home mum"

If anyone pushed this further in any negative way I replied with a smile;

"I don't have to justify myself"

The key is not to care what anyone else thinks.

I now have 2 jobs and I don't judge any women on how they make their family and employment work for them.