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Original poster

Husband pissed himself, again

228 replies

Lwveeee213 · 09/07/2023 00:36

Hi everyone. I posted a thread which ironically was about a year ago. Husband wet himself drunk in front of kids. Anyway it’s something he does when he drinks too much. Last year was the final straw and we nearly divorced and went to marriage counselling, and since swore and promised he wouldn’t drink so much that he would do it again. Anyway, I’ve noticed lately he’s been drinking more and more and his friends came today and this evening and he has drank LOADS of beers. I’ve not had a drink so was silently observing and he didn’t turn any down, encouraged more, never once said he would take his time even though he knows what happens. I gave his friends a lift home and left him on the couch. I’ve settled our daughter to bed, our teenage son is gaming in his room and as I’ve walked past and thought yuck youre disgusting, I see he has wet himself. On our couch we’ve had literally a few months. So he can’t even go one damn year. And it’s like he thinks I’ll forget the promise and he sees how far he can push it with his drinking until it happens!
I know tomorrow he will be full of guilt, remorse, saying he shouldn’t of drank too much the usual self pity, but I promised myself I’d divorce him if it happens again, and it has. So I guess now after twelve months of us having a relatively happy marriage I now have to keep my word as it’s clear he can’t keep any promises and he thinks I’ll just let him keep getting away with it! Any advice anyone please 😩

OP posts:
Original poster
Lwveeee213 · 09/07/2023 00:37

OMG the title should say pissed not possessed and I’ve no idea how to change it 🤣🤣🙈🙈🙈

OP posts:
Fab973 · 09/07/2023 00:38

I’m so sorry this is disgusting and he should be ashamed and mortified. I would leave

BritInAus · 09/07/2023 00:38

He won't change. Life once you've left your spouse with an alcohol problem is more wonderful than you can imagine - I've been there. It's hard but so worth it.

the damage to your children if you stay could be awful.

Ofcourseshecan · 09/07/2023 00:39

Sending you a hug. Don’t stay with an alcoholic, for DC’s sake as well as your own.

Groutyonehereagain · 09/07/2023 00:40

You promised yourself and him, that you would divorce him. So go and see a solicitor and divorce him. 💐

IncognitoMam · 09/07/2023 00:42

That's disgusting. He has no respect and is taking you for granted. Leave.

Tutu365 · 09/07/2023 00:45

Alternatively, would he admit after tonight that he has a problem and go get help from AA?

We’re all addicted to something - sugar, caffeine, work, food, exercise, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping - and the way out of addiction is looking at what purpose it’s serving. What is it doing for us?

This is the sort of thing he could look at with an addiction counsellor and really make some inroads into childhood trauma, pain etc.

If he can do this for you, for the family but importantly himself, it would be win-win and your kids would have a stable family.

greenthumb13 · 09/07/2023 00:48

It's AA or divorce. He clearly has a problem

Original poster
Lwveeee213 · 09/07/2023 00:48

When we went to counselling last year he said he doesn’t have a problem with alcohol, I don’t think he has as sometimes he’s fine and sometimes he doesn’t drink at all, it seems to be summer when he gets carried away and doesn’t seem to be able to stop himself getting into the state where he knows he ends up setting himself. He does know he just doesn’t seem to care if it will happen or not, and the longer it goes on it’s like he thinks ‘ooh I drank that much last week and I didn’t wet myself so I’ll just drink loads again’
Yet another couch he’s ruined. I just hope our son doesn’t come down and see him as last year it affected him so much 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
Lwveeee213 · 09/07/2023 00:51

Usually we are happy but he actually repulses me when he’s like this and I think how do I even find this disgusting pig attractive ! But for it to happen and happen, it’s always been a big issue throughout the 17 years I’ve been with him and I’m just sick of it now as it’s always going to happen!

OP posts:
BritInAus · 09/07/2023 00:55

He can say whatever he likes... if he's destroying sofas because he drinks so much he wets himself, that's a problem.

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 09/07/2023 00:59

I'd take a picture of him to show him once he's sober tomorrow. The shock value might help him see he does have a problem and make him seek help. Whether you stay or leave is a separate issue.

ymemanresu · 09/07/2023 01:01

Is he pre diabetic? No? Are you sure? 100% ? I have experience of this and i was fuming too but it was due to genetic pre diabetes. There are tablets to prevent this .

Jongleterre · 09/07/2023 01:19

A grown man pissing himself because he drinks to excess is absolutely revolting if it happened once. If it happened again and again, then he clearly has no shame, no respect for you or his children or even himself.

He's never going to change.

He is dirty and disgusting and you and your children should be well shot of him.

Pissing himself iso that be soaks the family sofa - most people would die of shame but he's going to act like a limp lettuce and say sorry and then it's going to turn to him being nasty towards you.

Bin him.

nocoolnamesleft · 09/07/2023 01:24

Possession might have been easier to sort. Quick exorcism. But being a disgusting inconsiderate bastard is harder to fix.

mathanxiety · 09/07/2023 01:36

Yes, you now have to do what you should have done last year (or even before then).

Your children will wake to a piss-soaked couch.

They will look to you for leadership.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2023 01:43

Tutu365 · 09/07/2023 00:45

Alternatively, would he admit after tonight that he has a problem and go get help from AA?

We’re all addicted to something - sugar, caffeine, work, food, exercise, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping - and the way out of addiction is looking at what purpose it’s serving. What is it doing for us?

This is the sort of thing he could look at with an addiction counsellor and really make some inroads into childhood trauma, pain etc.

If he can do this for you, for the family but importantly himself, it would be win-win and your kids would have a stable family.

No no no.

We aren't all addicted to something, that's nonsense.

And if he wants to get help, for himself, he can. Maybe once he's a couple of years sober he can see if OP wants to date him again. But not now.

SullysBabyMama · 09/07/2023 01:52

I can tell you first hand from someone that did leave, I do not regret it at all. I haven’t one single day.

LordSalem · 09/07/2023 01:53

That's fucking disgusting. So he'll wake up in soiled pants and hopefully it won't have leaked onto your sofa? Do not wash his piss stained pants wherever he dumps them. Tell him he can sleep in his own vile mess from now on and do his own filthy laundry. It'll teach him a great lesson or two for living alone when you tell him to get the fuck out

ThePoint678 · 09/07/2023 02:01

If he drinks so much that pissing himself is even a risk, then he has a drinking problem he needs to address and that is not your battle to fight. I’d leave. Spare your kids any further trauma.

Rabbitsandgerbils · 09/07/2023 02:04

So sorry to hear this OP. You say you’ve put up with this for 17 years. Enough is enough. He is drinking so much he is pissing himself on the sofa for your children to find. That is an alcohol problem. You said already you and your son are affected and your daughter will be too.

I agree with the previous poster. It’s now AA or out.

Topseyt123 · 09/07/2023 02:04

I really couldn't live with that at all. Utterly disgusting. Yes, I'd divorce him.

He has no respect for you, the children or himself.

MissedItByThisMuch · 09/07/2023 02:56

Consistent heavy drinking isn’t the only pattern of problem drinking. Binge drinking to the point of incontinence means he does have a problem with alcohol. But if he doesn’t acknowledge this and choose to address it himself, there is nothing you can do to make him. It has to come from him. The only choice available to you is either to stay and put up with it, or to leave.

ZekeZeke · 09/07/2023 05:03

Ultimatum time