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Bum Sex & Wind

388 replies

PhantomFluffer · 02/07/2010 20:26

Sorry to lower the tone, but it is Friday and I've waited a while to find some advice/empathy for the following the problem. It sounds hysterical, indeed if I were to read about this on mn I would be rofl. However, it is a genuine problem and I'm wondering if it's a common occurrence.

Dh and I have recently began engaging in erm...rear entry bedroom antics. The issue is, immediately afterwards I suffer dreadful wind and if I pop to the loo I will almost blow the toilet off the wall and also well, pebble dash the pan. I also continue to be a bit windy the following day and worst of all I have no control over it

We only ever engage in such activities if I been to the loo within a couple of hours previous. The post shag messiness is really off putting and I often wonder how gay men put up with it! Is there something I can do? I'm not really keen on enemas or wash outs or whatever as it's always a spontaneous thing.

OP posts:
BenHer · 03/07/2010 21:03

TDiddy....the smaller it is the less chance of a coating.Count your blessings! :-)

TDiddy · 03/07/2010 21:06

Expat - yes, I keep it permanently tanned IYWIM

BenHer - in the context of this thread your name bears a certain pun. I will not be drawn into the size discussion.

expatinscotland · 03/07/2010 21:25

'There is no element of intimacy that can be enhanced by faeces.'

[SPRAY!] (as in tea on computer screen, not pebble-dashing a toilet bowl)

PussinJimmyChoos · 03/07/2010 21:30

It's gross...seriously...I mean you know, you go for a poo and its not like you linger in the bathroom inhaling the fragrance...why would anyone want it over their fingers/partner's cock??

And can you seriously give a BJ knowing where its been?? Even if its been washed??

sarah293 · 03/07/2010 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 03/07/2010 21:31

I need to lose about 2.5st., Riven, and this thread is certainly helping to kill my appetite.

noddyholder · 03/07/2010 21:32

Yuck yuck yuck we are not built for this no matter how much people say they enjoy it.

ImSoNotTelling · 03/07/2010 21:34

Am roffling at poor old phantom plopper having attracted the non-bumsex crew to her thread, rather than the usual sympathetic crowd, and now having to cower in a corner while people exchange horrified pooey cock jokes

ImSoNotTelling · 03/07/2010 21:34

phantom fluffer! not phantom plopper! what a freudian slip

PussinJimmyChoos · 03/07/2010 21:36

I think my main concern would be leakage....tis bad enough with a wet spot but a shit spot

ImSoNotTelling · 03/07/2010 21:45

My main concern would be that it would really bloody hurt!

expatinscotland · 03/07/2010 21:45

A wet spot of shite, lube and cum.

Cum dripping out of your bum for days in addition to farting for England and loose BMs.

And here I thought people who drink so much they vom were ridiculous.

PussinJimmyChoos · 03/07/2010 21:49

I was reading an article in mag and apparently, because shaven havens and bum sex is all the rage in porn, men are starting to normalise it...with the result is that, increasingly, more and more men are actually finding that a) pubic hair is abnormal and b) anal sex is a normal sex right...

expatinscotland · 03/07/2010 21:50

Oh, I definitely agree with you there, Puss!

Jacksmama · 03/07/2010 22:04

I'm with Riven re: piles.... yeeeeeouch!!!!!!!

Alouiseg · 03/07/2010 22:08

Ok, tell me about piles? What the hell are they?? I know they're haemorrhoids but I cannot imagine how they manifest themselves.

Jacksmama · 03/07/2010 22:08

Oh, and my eyes are bugging out too and I am applauding expat as I'm say here LMAO - pun fully intended...

Jacksmama · 03/07/2010 22:09

Alouiseg - you're shitting me. You don't know how haemorrhoids manifest themselves?? [boggles]

Jacksmama · 03/07/2010 22:11

OK, to be blunt, they're swollen anal veins that protrude out the anal sphincter.

They hurt like stink and they can bleed.

Can you imagine trying to get a penis past them? They can get so bad that it feels like you're pooing steak knives.

NorkyButNice · 03/07/2010 22:13

I am dying laughing here (sorry Phantom Plopper Fluffer)!

But have no personal experience to add, I'm glad to say.

Coolfonz · 03/07/2010 22:18

Erm. 1. You freaks. 2. It's not covered in poo. 3. It doesn't smell as long as one is generally clean, the lube sees to that. 4.You bum-luv obsessed weirdos! 5.It's banned for Muslims. Heheheh...

TDiddy · 03/07/2010 22:22

You are putting me off talking like that....I mean it was meant to be just the occasional thing not the run of the mill

Alouiseg · 03/07/2010 22:23

Coolfonz are you a man?

BenHer · 03/07/2010 22:26

Always covered in poo,well no.Often covered in poo,well yes.Especially after the first 6 inches.

Alouiseg.Relax.. good dirty talk always trumps botty sex.No pun intended.

Alouiseg · 03/07/2010 22:29

I thought that I was such a woman of the world, I am a total bum virgin, I didn't even know what piles are.