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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bum Sex & Wind

388 replies

PhantomFluffer · 02/07/2010 20:26

Sorry to lower the tone, but it is Friday and I've waited a while to find some advice/empathy for the following the problem. It sounds hysterical, indeed if I were to read about this on mn I would be rofl. However, it is a genuine problem and I'm wondering if it's a common occurrence.

Dh and I have recently began engaging in erm...rear entry bedroom antics. The issue is, immediately afterwards I suffer dreadful wind and if I pop to the loo I will almost blow the toilet off the wall and also well, pebble dash the pan. I also continue to be a bit windy the following day and worst of all I have no control over it

We only ever engage in such activities if I been to the loo within a couple of hours previous. The post shag messiness is really off putting and I often wonder how gay men put up with it! Is there something I can do? I'm not really keen on enemas or wash outs or whatever as it's always a spontaneous thing.

OP posts:
FellatioNelson · 08/07/2010 16:40

I agree - TBH if it hasn't been mentioned/mooted up until now your DH might run for the hills and think you've gone a bit nuts anyway.

Alouiseg · 08/07/2010 16:45

Good advice Fn! I've voted for your mn name in another thread to be a champion of mn names.

Don't go changing

BenHer · 08/07/2010 16:50

Discretion is the better part of valour on this occasion.Nothing wrong with staying tight lipped!

TDiddy · 08/07/2010 18:05

Alouiseg - I admire your committment to the cause but can't bear to "see you" under so much pressure! We will just have to use our imaginations.

Coolfonz · 08/07/2010 18:21

No Mumsnet debut Twitterbummin'!? Shucks and damnit. [sad} Don't we wanna live a little Aloouiseg?

Coolfonz · 08/07/2010 18:22

I mean

Alouiseg · 08/07/2010 18:32

One of my best friends did offer me her husband today. Perhaps I shouldn't have made such a huge fuss about doing in the first place.

.

If it ever happens I promise to resurrect tis thread that we have hijacked for selfish purposes.

Coolfonz · 08/07/2010 19:22

"One of my best friends did offer me her husband today"

Well, that's a fresh and new twist on things. Offer for eel rubbing? A date? Twitter-luv?

TDiddy · 08/07/2010 20:10

Alouiseg - think you need to offer earlier in the morning before breakfast. Will set him up for the rest of the day, I assure you.

Alouiseg · 08/07/2010 20:24

Do you think so???? Not quite sure how to "offer".

BenHer · 08/07/2010 20:34

Perhaps you could seductively swirl your chocolate flavoured whey protein shake around in front of him and hope he takes the hint!

Alouiseg · 08/07/2010 20:37

Says it all really, my protein shake of choice is actually Vanilla.

BenHer · 08/07/2010 20:40

I'm a banana man myself.

Alouiseg · 08/07/2010 20:43

is this you

BenHer · 08/07/2010 20:44

Oh god the shame!

hora · 13/07/2010 10:12

Eurostar is right.

My sister once told me that gay men who enjoy receiving penetrative sex sometimes have to wear sanitary pads/inserts due to problems from such acts.

OP- is this because you are still tender etc from childbirth?

Can't your other half just wait abit longer or are you both firm lovers of the back entrance?

Never understood why straight men prefer the backdoor.

CoraBear · 13/07/2010 21:19

Up the bum, no harm done,
Up the fanny, your Mammies a Granny.

It seems sweeter when it rhymes.

BrittanyBeers · 13/07/2010 21:23

When the river runs red,
take the dirt path instead.

FellatioNelson · 14/07/2010 16:59

Oh yeah. Cos blood is soooo much worse than poo.

PortiaNovmerriment · 14/07/2010 17:00

Now I really am hiding the thread

DuelingFanjo · 14/07/2010 19:24

troll troll]]

FellatioNelson · 14/07/2010 20:07

DuelingFanjo are you one and the same as DuellingFanjos? Why the change in spelling? Or are you an imposter?

Oh, and your link doesn't work BTW. Well it does, but it doesn't link to anything, iyswim.

BettyBumJuice · 14/07/2010 20:25

I suffer the same problem, but hell it's worth it

FellatioNelson · 14/07/2010 20:51

I'm not sure it could be worth it. Not really. I would draw the line at bum juice. Call me old fashioned.

DuelingFanjo · 15/07/2010 11:39

no - I am not the same person. Unless I have logged in in the past and accidentally put the 'l' in twice

correct link