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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bum Sex & Wind

388 replies

PhantomFluffer · 02/07/2010 20:26

Sorry to lower the tone, but it is Friday and I've waited a while to find some advice/empathy for the following the problem. It sounds hysterical, indeed if I were to read about this on mn I would be rofl. However, it is a genuine problem and I'm wondering if it's a common occurrence.

Dh and I have recently began engaging in erm...rear entry bedroom antics. The issue is, immediately afterwards I suffer dreadful wind and if I pop to the loo I will almost blow the toilet off the wall and also well, pebble dash the pan. I also continue to be a bit windy the following day and worst of all I have no control over it

We only ever engage in such activities if I been to the loo within a couple of hours previous. The post shag messiness is really off putting and I often wonder how gay men put up with it! Is there something I can do? I'm not really keen on enemas or wash outs or whatever as it's always a spontaneous thing.

OP posts:
mumwhatnothing · 04/07/2010 22:59

married 2 weeks with a 12 week old DD. No time for the real thing. Saving up the ideas for when she gets her own room.

mumwhatnothing · 04/07/2010 23:21

He got home and said NO.

TDiddy · 04/07/2010 23:22

NO to strap on; yes to plain vanilla, hopefully

NetworkGuy · 05/07/2010 02:11

Just a few penneth on the subject...

A friend of mine (for past ~15 years) {well, acquaintance, as she's in the USA and although I've been over there a number of times, we didn't get to meet - she's near Boston and my trips have taken me to Chicago, San Francisco and other places in California}

Anyway, she 'has a thing' about older men, which fits me (next time she gets to Europe, perhaps, unless she is married by then) and we discussed everything under the sun, sometimes online, mostly on the phone, in calls lasting 2 or 3 hours at a time (at 1p/minute it was hotter than any 0898 call, I can tell you).

One day she was asking advice on ideas for positions, explaining she had (at age 32) still not had 'plain vanilla' - ie from age 17/18 she only ever indulged in anal sex.

It doesn't especially appeal to me, and I asked all sorts of questions, but as someone pointed out earlier, with a condom, plenty of lube, and in the right mood, it is easily accomplished, and there should be no pain.

As she put it, what comes out can be of similar proportions to a man going in... She was actually wanting to get some suggestions for a position which she could use as her 'then' fuck buddy was 6'8" and had very long legs, so if she laid on the edge of the bed, he was too high for comfort. (I think it was either that he'd be bent, or could not take her weight and he was too tall for her knees to go over his shoulders.)

I suggested a few pillows, with a towel and then cotton sheet over the top, so she'd get no friction burns. I think he had a couple of cushions on the floor, to help get the height just right, and so his knees were comfy too. So he could build up to giving her a thorough pounding while she used a vibrating egg to ensure her enjoyment.

Seemed to do the trick as she discussed the outcome with me a week later

Jacksmama · 05/07/2010 05:39

now that's really TMI

TDiddy · 05/07/2010 06:28

NetworkGuy - its as though your friend get's a second virginity? A bit early for this but I thought that I would mark my spot on this frantic thread.

AnyFucker · 05/07/2010 08:08

Gosh NG, that's an interesting online relationship you have there

mumwhatnothing · 05/07/2010 08:43

Indeed.

NetworkGuy · 05/07/2010 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumsnut · 05/07/2010 10:10
PlasticCenturion · 05/07/2010 10:19

Sometimes it's better to say nothing NG. That's a LOT of information.

And "I have a T shirt that reads....
"No means Yes, Yes means up the bum!!!" " is the most disgusting thing I've seen on this thread. Seriously? That t-shirt exists? That's despicable.

ShirleyKnot · 05/07/2010 10:37

Farking Hell.

NetworkGuy · 05/07/2010 10:39

It was to put the other perspective, PC, since 'bumsex' is foreign territory to so many, while here was a case where 'vanilla' was avoided (and no, I didn't ask why that was, in case some past experience had been stored away and may have hurt if remembered/ discussed).

There have been some curious, some participants, and others who, without trying it, have dismissed it (just on 'yuk' grounds).

Personally, it does not appeal highly, but if that was a partner's preference, I am sure I could be gentle...

AnyFucker · 05/07/2010 11:11

NG, for some reason, you make me shudder

Not in a good way...

PlasticCenturion · 05/07/2010 11:12

No that point is pertinent, there are those that have a preference for only that. Descriptions of sheets and pillows and logistics and friction burns and vibrating eggs was the mere sharing of somebody else's experiences on a public forum without their permission.

ShirleyKnot · 05/07/2010 11:12

Christ Alive.

candyfluff · 05/07/2010 11:33

i was asking if all women can ejaculate(sprays out like piss ) or are some just born that way ?

Jamiki · 05/07/2010 12:01

PMSL @ 'I'm good at puzzles'.

Jacksmama · 05/07/2010 16:43

I think some women are just born that way, candyfluff

And back to NG's post... wow. Serious TMI. Would your friend not object to you posting details of your conversations on a public forum? With identifying data such as where you and she worked? I'd be narked, to put it mildly.
I've been accused of oversharing in the Tea Room (sorry all ) but at least that was only about the sad state of my own bits, not someone else's.

You might want to think about asking to have that post deleted.

Coolfonz · 05/07/2010 19:09
  1. What is it about anal sex that fascinates everyone so much? (Not excluding myself you understand) Some people on this thread say `its disgusting/banned under my religion/a filthy poo festival` yet they've posted multiple times. I reckon most people love the theory of good anal, that's what I reckon...
  1. Squirters - can be slightly compromising if you are giving head.
  1. What about Ice Docking?
candyfluff · 05/07/2010 19:22

huh? ice docking what on earth is that

Sammyuni · 05/07/2010 19:26

I just looked up ice docking on urban dictionary and that's totally disgusting i hope you have another meaning for it.

Coolfonz · 05/07/2010 19:29

There's only one ice docking, as the football chant goes.

Just like to say it's not anything i'd ever do or have done, just wanted to see if I could lower the tone past pegging...

And oh yes, I have

candyfluff · 05/07/2010 19:31

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ice+docking

barf
vom

Coolfonz · 05/07/2010 19:39

Oh yes...

What about Goat Bojangles? Anyone tried that?