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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bum Sex & Wind

388 replies

PhantomFluffer · 02/07/2010 20:26

Sorry to lower the tone, but it is Friday and I've waited a while to find some advice/empathy for the following the problem. It sounds hysterical, indeed if I were to read about this on mn I would be rofl. However, it is a genuine problem and I'm wondering if it's a common occurrence.

Dh and I have recently began engaging in erm...rear entry bedroom antics. The issue is, immediately afterwards I suffer dreadful wind and if I pop to the loo I will almost blow the toilet off the wall and also well, pebble dash the pan. I also continue to be a bit windy the following day and worst of all I have no control over it

We only ever engage in such activities if I been to the loo within a couple of hours previous. The post shag messiness is really off putting and I often wonder how gay men put up with it! Is there something I can do? I'm not really keen on enemas or wash outs or whatever as it's always a spontaneous thing.

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 06/07/2010 18:12

No, not yet.......I think I need wine before I initiate the deed. Last night was Monday and I do try to keep it booze free.

...........I will report back, purely in the interest of bum sex and wind issues for the benefit of the Op.

.

Alouiseg · 06/07/2010 18:13

No that wasn't a euphemism.

AnyFucker · 06/07/2010 18:41

lol @ FN's "vision"

I loved Paul Nicholas ! < shows age >

FellatioNelson · 06/07/2010 18:56

So did I AF He was proper gorge. Though these days he'd be more likely to sing Grandma's party if he saw me.

You don't have to do it, you know A. We won't mind - honest. Well, we will a bit, but we'll have to seek our thrills elsewhere.

FellatioNelson · 06/07/2010 18:59

Perhaps you should just start with (vaselined) finger up the bum, and see how you get on with that? Work your way up slowly.

Alouiseg · 06/07/2010 19:00
Coolfonz · 06/07/2010 19:00

Alouiseg - You could always twitter it for that live action feel.

672010>Bin bumd. Was v good/hurt my bot bad. Goin for lie down.<

Hope that helps

AnyFucker · 06/07/2010 19:03

Louise, don't feel under pressure, or owt ...

Err, have you fallen out with me ?

Alouiseg · 06/07/2010 19:08

AF - You don't strike me as the kind of poster to give a toss about being fallen out with, so no I havn't.

I just had to straighten a few things out.

Unless you want to "take it aartside" And "sort it aart".

Back to Bumsex???

AnyFucker · 06/07/2010 19:12

Just checking

And actually, I would give a toss. That is a mistake to think that.

I don't post much about my DH, but if I did, and someone took exception to something he did, I really would not take offence. If you knew me in RL, you would know how true that is.

Alouiseg · 06/07/2010 19:19

I can't Twitter it live. The retweets would make me an overnight sensation and I would forever be known as the up the butt girl.

BrittanyBeers · 06/07/2010 21:02

Alouise, to us, you already are...

Jacksmama · 06/07/2010 21:23
Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 06/07/2010 21:40

I think maybe your DP would be a little miffed at a 'live' twitter feed! surely he would be requiring your whole attention?
And I am pretty sure, if I was being taken up the bum for the first time,(which will NEVER happen) I would be far to busy to twitter!!

Alouiseg · 06/07/2010 21:42

We've just been out for a curry..

I think I might defer till tomorrow night.........unless I open the Pinotage.

Watch the Twitter box for updates......unless you're squeamish

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 06/07/2010 21:47

OH NOOO!
In the interest of scientific research, Im waiting for your debrief!! (no pun intended!)

isthatporridgeinyourhair · 06/07/2010 21:55

I now know why I don't twitter. Don't you think doing it on curry night could be a little, erm, unwise?

BenHer · 06/07/2010 22:01

Proceed with the utmost caution.May be prudent to place a sticker over the area in question saying...Warning.May contain nuts!

TDiddy · 07/07/2010 00:08
Grin
candyfluff · 07/07/2010 10:38

did you hear about the man who went for a curry and got really ill?

FellatioNelson · 07/07/2010 13:07

Er, no. Go on then...

candyfluff · 07/07/2010 13:34

he fell and slipped into a korma

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 07/07/2010 18:36

The korma man was worse off than his mate, he ended up with a dicky tikka!

candyfluff · 07/07/2010 19:50

pmsl

Alouiseg · 08/07/2010 16:10

Still not happened!!!

We keep going out for dinner which isn't a great forerunner imo.

Maybe I'll stick to to filthy talk and vice like kegels. It's worked for the last decade and a half, if it ain't broken.... Why fix it

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