Hello everyone, I keep wanting to post but it's all been so hectic and I'm so tired.
We've 'settled' now and it's been very painful and laborious.
My 'absolute' will come in a few short weeks and that will be that.
I'm so relieved it's all over
but I'm just left with such all consuming sadness. I'll never believe it's happened, I loved him so much and for so long and now he's playing happy fucking families with someone else. Its truley unbelieveble.
He's surpassed himself in his twuntishness recentley and that's helped alot in my determined yet seemingly impossible quest to stop loving him, so that's a good thing.
I'm not lonely but I do feel very alone, especially when I'm out and I see something odd or funny etc and I normally would have phoned or texted him. It happenend today. I texted a friend but its not the same.
WE really 'got' each other completley and now he's gone.
I must say though, to the newbies on here who have only just been dumped........IT REALLY DOES GET EASIER !!!!
It's been just over 2 years for me now and when I think back to how I was, even a few months ago, I'm so much better now, thank God.
It does get better. I think you just get used to it.
Its such a massive shock in the begining, I think I was in total shock for 4/5 months.
I managed to hang on to the house, though it was touch and go for a while.
Ive neglected it horribly what with everything going on so am now looking forward to making it nice again, though i don't have much energy for it plus it's soooooooo hot isn't it.
Ive been looking after myself ie eating well and resting when I need to so that makes me feel better.
The huge task of having sole responsibility for DC, house, etc etc is overwhelming sometimes, especially when they all need different things at the same time so Ive stopped eating junk as it was making me so lethargic.
I'm out of touch with you all but have read most of it I think.
I do get in a muddle though with whose who on here, especially the newer posters. I'll try and keep up.
Happy, Maybees, Mumfun and Tougher ( I miss your old name , youve all been having such a hard time, I'm so sorry.
What is it with all these twunts ? Their selfishness defies belief, it really does.
I never want another one, been hurt too much. All my adult mememories involve him, all my phto albums too, I can't look at them, I might never be able to. It was all a lie.
Its funny, I can be perfectly fine, serene, start off typing nicely, gradually though (like now) the more I write ...the angrier I feel, as it makes me think of his utter twuntishness but also our wonderful life together.
If I had a voodoo doll now...I don't need to tell you where I'd be sticking the pins !
But I haven't, so I won't.
We are all so much better than those misserable w*nk stains, we are stronger, nicer and more honnerable and in the end, if not already...we'll be happier.
Lets all have lovely Sundays tomorow.
xxx