I know where OW works and when she is on shift - shall I go and humiliate her?

[ShouldiOrNot]

Fors -
I can see what she looks like
She can be made to look small and seedy
I can humiliate her by throwing a £10 fee as H obviously didnt pay her for her services
She will think twice about knowingly having sex with a married man again, hopefully
It will wind H up when he knows I know her and have confronted her
If all goes well my dc will know that to commit adultery has consequences

Againsts -
May be thrown out of the shop
Um....may lose my dignity or not get any words out above a squeak with anger

would you? I am tempted and have nothing to lose, and seriously it may make her think again.
H has been kicked to the curb and humiliated too btw so dont think i am just blaming her, im not. It's just she took something that did not belong to her and why not tell her?

Over to you jury ............

no problem

Ah. I apologise, Fab. It was meant to be light-hearted, as you were such a fierce defender of the ow. mea culpa.

Read the thread properly. Fab never defended the OW

You have no idea what you ex has told her, what gad he told you? Did he lead you to think you would be getting back together? OW is not the real issue, the real issue is you have to deal with the fact it is over and that is not her fault.

Ooh, go on then, Jamie. I'll bite. I had already apologised, graciously I hope, but you'd clearly like to take it further. Apologies in advance to Fab for raking this up again, but I heartily dislike people who only put their comment 30 minutes later, when they see how the exchange has panned out.

?You just want to get your own back on her when really she has done nothing to you.?

Jamie, this is defending her. Justifiably, probably, but clearly on her side. Please don't tell me I don't read threads properly (and yes, I know she probably wasn't actually an ow. It is useful shorthand).

No, it isn't me defending her.

The ow has not made promises to the OP. Any woman who is not married can sleep with who they want. it is the married man who is cheating.

Not probably not an ow, never another woman.

I just think it's a shame that women generally are conditioned to get their claws into men - which results in spats like this where the man is such a prize (when in reality he isn't) - when the man seems to be able to rise above it.

It doesn't seem as if she was the OW. And therefore the unpalatable truth is that he as moved on albeit very quickly.

If that happens it says more about him than you and you just have to plough on head held high.

I was just going to reiterate my usual mantra about not blaming the OW when in fact it was your DH who owed you loyalty, not a stranger, but I see we have moved on a bit!

OP, this OW isn't even an OW, she's your ex's new partner. However much you resent her you have to accept this, sorry.

As far as the turning up at her work thing goes, you would completely and utterly humiliate yourself and nobody else. Think about it - how would you feel if a strange woman walked into your workplace and started berating your workmate? Would you think oh gosh, my workmate is a whore, how shocking, or would you think Oh my god this is the best gossip ever, look at this mad woman throwing insults - etc? You'd grab the phone and get your absent colleagues to come and watch and then you'd discuss it every day for years afterwards.

'Remember when that scary woman came in and had a go at Julie' would go down in history. And you'd be the butt of it - the 'OW' colleagues are her friends, and will assume you to be insane.

If you attack someone who your XP dates or has sex with after your XP has left you (presumably because you are mad, spiteful and selfish) then you have no moral high ground at all and should, with any luck, face criminal charges.
You're dumped. Get over it.