It seems DH is plotting to secretly meet an old GF while on a business trip. WWYD?

[CoteDAzur]

He hasn't breathed a word about this to me and it sounds like a rather romantic date.

WWYD?

Ok, first off, why do you think he is gonna meet her?

how did you find out?

How did you find out? Are you sure it isn't a friendly catch-up? Why can't you ask him?

How do you know?

x-post-arama!

I was a bit sneaky. They have been messaging on Facebook.

Are they suggestive messages?

Facebook? I'm truly shocked

Personally, I would say very calmly and face to face with no distractions "I have a feeling that you are going to meet X when you are away. Am I right? I really would rather you didn't".

But then I can't keep things like that in and would only explode if I didn't say anything.

My xp once arranged to meet up with his ex gf and I knew. It was only instinct that told me (he had been up to no good for a couple of months) and I told him I knew. His expression gave it all away and he looked like I'd punched him in the stomach.

The one previous mention of this girl was a sob story about her getting divorced and needed money to look after her three DC. DH wanted to send her a huge amount of money. I said "no" but not sure if he sent it anyway. He is a bit of a softie and tends to throw money at people.

No, not suggestive, but sounds like he will take her to where we went for one of our 1st dates A romantic place.

Indigo - My thoughts are more in the line of hiring a private detective in that city and getting a minute by minute report of that date. With pictures.

What will you do with the info from the private detective?

Will you ask him to leave?

How will he react if he knows you had him followed? (Not saying that it's wrong - just curious as to how he will react)

I might be inclined to message them both (with a single message) on FB and say "X, when DH takes you to [wherever] you must try the [specify food or activity]. We went there on one of our first dates and it was FANTASTIC! xxx CoteDAzur"

Depends. She doesn't live in that city, so are they staying together, for one thing? Even if not, will they spend the night together? If yes, divorce papers will probably be in order.

What had he done previously to make you suspicious enough to check his FB?

I think you can safely say that if they are both going to all that trouble then they will be spending the night together.

I'm amazed you can carry on without saying something. I would have to tell him I knew. You're a better woman that I am.

"than" I am.

Professor, I thought about that, actually

I also thought about registering to FB as a different user and posting on her wall (for all her friends to see) "You realize that Mr Cote is married with two little children?", or "Are you not ashamed to be going on secret dates with a married man with small children?" but that would be a bit premature. And in any case, that kind of outburst from the wife has the inevitable effect of placing the two miscreants on the same corner and bringing them closer.

whow long ago waas the money thing? how did it end?

So do you think that

(a) He is Up To No Good

(b) He is just completely clueless about how inappropriate this is (although in that case why is he keeping it a secret?)

(c) His intentions are innocent but he thinks you will "overreact" if you know about the meeting so he's keeping quiet

and if it's (b) or (c) do you think that she is Up To No Good?

Couple of months ago. Before this, I thought he agreed and didn't send the money. Now I am not so sure. Or he didn't and the girl is going after her meal ticket in another way. Who knows.

Is it near enough for you to "accidentally" bump into them?

Cote - as tempting as writing on her wall is don't do it, you'll look like a loon.

In any case, you aren't married to her. You need to tackle your husband

(c) probably.

He might come back after they meet and say he met her for a friendly chat. Which is why I want that private detective.