looming awkward encounter

[stubbornhubby]

So here's the thing: Mrs S and I are going to reunion at my old school (the school is about 900 years old, or something, just everyone will be there).

From the guest list that came round I realise that one of the people that will be there is Old Flame (mine). Fair enough: that's what you expect at school reunions.

BUT

• what Mrs S doesn't know is: about a year ago OF and I had lunch together.. after she found me on facebook

So... an awkward encounter looms.

What, mumsnetters, Do I do ..

My ideas are

A - mention in advance to Mrs S that OF and I had lunch (ouch....)

B - email OF (we haven't seen each other since) to confess that I didn't tell Mrs S about our lunch and would she please not mention it (but that makes the lunch seem a bigger deal than it was)

C - go to the reunion but keep a constant watch for OF and whenever we see her.. quickly run and hide

D - go to reunion and hope OF has the sense not to mention it

E - go to the reunion and bluff 'of course I told you darling..... what? didn't I? are you sure? no, I must have done'

F - something else

I am figuring on C

but I just know that mumsnet will know what's best...

This whole thread has made me smile a bit!

StubbornHubby - saying/doing nothing and hoping it will be ok is such a typically male approach that it's almost a cliche. You could get lucky but you probably won't. Also, do you know that the OF is the only person at the event who knows you went to lunch? Will there be other old friends there she may have mentioned it to?

If you don't let your DW know somehow (and I'd go with SoupDragon's method tbh) you are likely to be toast.

Is it you who has the high table/low chairs? If she finds out via anyone but you, you can kiss that cushion goodbye FOREVER and, if it were me, I'd be walking behind you and smacking the top of your head every time I went past for about a month... If I've confused you with another MNer apologies.

Yep to CelticBanshee

Of course I'd leave DP over this... Im under the impression we have an adult and honest and respectful relationship... if that is in fact a farce then in the words of Dragon's den... Im out!

But as Ive said before... but syubbornhubby has ignored.. a lot depends on the lies that revolved around this meeting with OF?

StubbornHubby - if you don't tell her in advance or only tell her on the day, accept that you will never have correct height furniture - and you won't be able to moan about it, or even use a cushion as she'll just smile and say, "I suppose the chairs in [the restaurant you took OF to] are more comfortable". and then you'll have to look sheepish and loose the moral high ground over her bad purchase.

And it will be used to win evey arguement from now until one of you dies.

Seriously, go for the short term pain rather than the long term one. Just say, "I was looking at the reunion list and it reminded me, did I tell you I had lunch with OF a bit ago and she's now doing XYZ?"

This is the person who made up the model aeroplane thing and the new bloke with the flashy car story.

almost certain, anyway.

@foureleven - I wasn't dodging the qu. I just went out for lunch and didn't mention it. I didn't tell any direct lies, but I do accept it is a lie-by-omission.

Mrs S is also on facebook and so she does know that OF and I became facebook friends(which doesn't mean much: I am not a FB enthususiast and I hardly use it) so she does know we were in contact (and wasn't bothered).

I didn't spend a lot of time with OF conspiring to have lunch, which also concerned you (or somone else perhaps) It was more like: 'next time you are nearby let me know' 'actually I will be around in july for a work reason' 'that's good let's have lunch' that kind of thing.

So why didn't you tell your wife? or have i missed that bit.

OK, I missed the teasing part. Thank god it wasn't like described, I think if I were your DW I would be more pissed off about a fancy lunch than the lunch per se. But then I'm shallow. And I still recommend wining and dining DW, it may just get you out of the dog house.

Oh... hmm thats not so bad then.

DP and I will usually say to each other.. 'did you do anything nice for lunch today?' or 'Tell me about your day, did you do anything fun?'

And so in order to not tell me, DP would have to lie to keep this covered up.

If you often go out with friends and dont mention it then I guess this isnt so bad.

it's actually a good question

hmm... I guess... in case she asked me not to.

I don't often go out with OFs.
Sadly.

I think your a charmer and you can worm your way out of this one

I think you have come on here to ask for advice that you have absolutely no intention of taking. You are going to do what you want no matter how often you are told it's not the right thing. So do what you want to do and don't come crying on here when it all blows up in your face.. I hope for your dw's sake that that you get away with it..

Z) Go to the reunion with wifey, search high and low for OF and when you see her go straight up to her and tell her to FUCK OFF VERY LOUDLY.

Then run and hide.

Because if you are sad about never meeting up with OF's then, after my idea, Waaahaaay!!...you will now have two ex-OFs to meet up with. Beans on toast all round!(divorce is expensive)

You're a right twat.

SH - you sound just like an ex of mine. You are so dead if it is you as your wife will plant you one.

Oh i don't think he is a twat just full of ball's and i wouldn't trust him as far as i could throw him.

On reflection, Stubbornhubby, you write about this too well. Are you a novelist, writer, journalist even? It's almost as if you've studied how people on mumsnet write and have crafted something similar, but it lacks authenticity.
And does any man really call himself 'hubby'?
I hope that you aren't actually married to some poor woman.

It's not 'full of balls' to deceive your wife, to boast about it online, to mull over deceiving your wife some more and then to declare you 'sadly' don't get to meet more old flames. It's twatty.

So you're either another sad Matthew Write/Wright/Rite/Right (what is his name??) researcher or a twat.

@defluffy

really, I am not a journalist!
however I concede that I may well be a twat

@cornflowerB

• thank you for saying that I write well I was trying to entertain as well seeking some perspective. It is all true! And your skeptical feedback has made me wonder if I am leading an unnecessarily complicated life. Sigh.

• and my name, my name. Ah the naming of things... it is so important is it not? so you tell me: in RL do you have the eyes of cornflowerblue ?

• but you are quite right i don't call myself 'hubby' in RL. my self-chosen moniker is meant to be light-hearted, to admit a truth, and to evince a smile.

oh ffs. grow up, tell your wife the truth, take what is due and then go to the reunion.

you should have told her before you even went for lunch.

What makes you think your wife might have ased you not to go? Does she have trust in you?

tbh the only way to reduce the risk of her not finding out is not to go.

Stubborn that is so poetic. I fancy you. Can we meet for lunch?