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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

im shaking with anger just now and ive thrown dh out

436 replies

candyfluff · 10/04/2010 13:58

he has a long standing problem with gambling and so after many years of putting up with it last year i told him if he goes in there again i will kick him out - the day started fine we all went out to the town to do some shopping and take the kids to the park,we split up to get things done quicker and said i will meet you at the park - he's a no show so we leave the park and the first place i look for him is in the bookies and geuss what the bastard is doing - feeding the fucking fruit machine
i tell him to leave now and he comes out for a minute then goes straight back in and continues to gamble
i go back in after a ten or so mins and gives him back my wedding ring and told him he will be locked out when he gets home
ive just put his bag out of the door
dont really know why im posting this other than to vent - feel so let down

OP posts:
Fliight · 12/04/2010 20:45

I agree

You need the name of the doctor, and google the phone number or look it up on the website.

Sounds well dodgy. And why the place local to you - hes not moving back in with you, what's the point?

twolittlemonkeys · 12/04/2010 20:48

Erm, doctor taking him there himself?? Psychiatrist saying he's a nice man? It definitely sounds like he's getting a mate to call for him to try to guilt trip you. Please don't fall for it. Stay strong for your sake and that of your children. He has shown so little regard for your feelings, he needs this to be a real wake-up call, not a green light to continue in the knowledge that you'll go back on your word.

Hope you are ok. Sounds like you are dealing with it well so far.

RedCharityBonney · 12/04/2010 20:53

This is all a bit weird isn't it?

lucky1979 · 12/04/2010 20:56

If he is a real doctor, he's totally out of line and unprofessional.

Sorry to harp on, and I'm sure you've thought of this, but did you call the switchboard and get put through or call direct?

Either way, ignore him. Your H is a gambling addict who lied, shoved you around and smashed things up in your house, he is not a nice man. He won't be a nice man again for years, if ever, and that's supposing he does kick his addiction. You are worth far more than that.

Original poster
candyfluff · 12/04/2010 20:59

i know its sounds weird but its true - the doc just called again - dr choudry is taking him by taxi - i questioned this and said why are you taking him - he said its coz he is under his care and that the way they do it - they cant get him a bed in our local hospital so are taking him to a hospital in middlesex ??- he gave me the address and ward name and phone number

OP posts:
Original poster
candyfluff · 12/04/2010 20:59

i cant google anything just now as my ds is near by and keeps nosing over - i dont want him to know his dad is in hospital

OP posts:
Doha · 12/04/2010 21:00

Must agree with lucky--that is totally unprofessional behaviour from a Dr. Most Dr's are most reluctant to discuss issues over the phone as they are never 100% sure who they are really talking to.

Also to transport him to the local hospital himself is a big red flag. Insurance both profesional and vehicle would not cover him in the event of an accident/incident.

Can you be sure this is not a complete hoax

Reality · 12/04/2010 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 12/04/2010 21:05

candyfluff - just tell your son you need to do something private and google.

Fliight · 12/04/2010 21:06

There are a couple of dr chowdhurys or choudhurys in London but need a first name really

also number of ward, worth a google. They are giving you these numbers to ring, so it could be anyone.

BertieBotts · 12/04/2010 21:07

What's the address of the hospital? I bet it doesn't exist; if it does, you ought to be able to ring them and ask if he is there or not.

I thought actually when you first posted about the hospital ringing you that it was probably just a mate of his messing you around. How do you try to throw yourself under a train in such a way that you end up in hospital, but not dead??

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/04/2010 21:09

Candyfluff, think this through -

  • you have only your H's word that he was in London
  • you have only the word of a stranger on the phone that he is a doctor in a London hospital, where your husband has been taken
  • this stranger has a similar accent to your H

It stinks. It stinks of deceit. Your H is trying to manipulate you into taking him back. Don't fall for it.

Fliight · 12/04/2010 21:10

Exactly Bertie. Bit tricky to find a happy medium there! unless you are dangling precariously from a bridge, or climbing down between the buffers or something...it's odd.

Fliight · 12/04/2010 21:11

Even if it's a real doctor etc, he's still manipulating you, obviously! But you know that. It's pathetic really, but scary to think what he might have done had he ahd the kids with him.

lucky1979 · 12/04/2010 21:11

I'm intrigued by a hospital whose doctors have nothing better to do than trot off in a taxi to take a patient to a different hospital in a different NHS trust.

If he needed a transfer and they had no beds they'd put him in an ambulance. Who's even paying for the taxi? Can't imagine the NHS shelling out for this little day trip.

Something seriously shady is going on. 020 7377 7000 is the main switchboard for the Royal London - give them a call.

Doha · 12/04/2010 21:15

This is complete bull shit.

Going in a taxi don't think so

google the name of hospital and compare the phone number with the one given.

Phone hospital switchboard and ask for ward ????.

Then ask if they are expeccitng a Mr........... to be admitted this evening

Original poster
candyfluff · 12/04/2010 21:16

yes the number is the a& e at the royal london - im giving you the number call it if you want - it smells fishy to me too
0207 377 7781

OP posts:
JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 12/04/2010 21:17

This does not ring true to me at all. Not one bit. It smacks of manipulation, the next thing will be a desperate need for money.

Dig deeper. Don't take this at face value just cos he says he's a doctor and claims to be ringing from the hospital.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 12/04/2010 21:18

Why would anyone on here call it?

You need to ring and ask if MrCandyfluff is there.

Fliight · 12/04/2010 21:19

So that is the number for a&e, is that the number he gave you too?

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 12/04/2010 21:20

He could have looked it up.

The only way you will know if this is for real is by ringing the hospital and asking for mrcandyfluff.

GladioliBuckets · 12/04/2010 21:21

It doesn't matter if it's fishy or not, if you have left him then you don't have to be his next of kin. Just say you'll talk to him next week after he's calmed down and been assessed etc. Does he not have any relatives in this country you can call/pass their number on to the doctor?

Original poster
candyfluff · 12/04/2010 21:23

i have rung twice to speak to the doctor there
the place he is taking him to soon is
cygnet hospital - harrow on the hill
london road middlesex HA1 3JL
he said when he gets there the team will call me - he said he had eaten and i asked if he had been put on any medication and he said the new place he is going to will decide the course of action

OP posts:
Fliight · 12/04/2010 21:25

that's a private hospital.

Fliight · 12/04/2010 21:29

...which accepts NHS referrals, but these take up to 48hrs to be considered and accepted.

They also don't do acute psych care

they do low secure rehab, but I'd imagine thatw as a step further than this.

Very very odd.