What do you do about the mess after sex?

[HeatherTrott]

Yes, I've name changed, I'm not really Heather Trott.

I just want to know what everybody else, who doesn't use condoms does about the mess after sex?

Do you go to the bathroom and sort yourself you, and wear a pad to catch the rest?

I'm fed up with waking up with a gigantic pool of stuff having leaked out of me.

I always used condoms before I met DH, so maybe he produces more than average "stuff", I'm not sure.

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If you've found this page in your search of how to clean up after sex and cleaning your sex toys, you might find our guide to the best sex toy cleaners useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Jump in the shower!

Get him to come elsewhere, then you can just wipe it up.

Otherwise I wear sperm catcher pants to bed....

nothing I quite like it.

If I need to go to the loo some drains out there and obv give myself a wipe.

Maybe I am strange.

Dash to the loo and run back to cuddle

i go to the bathroom and wipe depending on time i will either have a shower or wear a pant liner and wait till morning

Errr, isn't most of it probably from you if its a 'giant' pool?

Tissues by the bed....Now there's an idea?

I go to the bathroom, try to pee and usually the majority of the sperm will come away with that. Have a wash, wipe with a baby wipe and general freshen up then back to bed(or wherever) for cuddles. Agew times I have been that exhausted taht I have fallen asleep and its not pleasant to waken up the following morning with massive leakage!

Cant be bothered to namechange, loving yours though HT!

have sex his side of the bed and then move over and leave him asleep in the leakage

He does the deed on my tummy as we don't use contraception. Then I wipe with tissue. Back in the old days before 'him' it was muckier and it used to come out when went to the loo. Why the hell am I talking about this..?

Hold pad of tissues over fanjo.

Cough.

Job done.

am ttc so mostly I lie in it.

Sorry about typos, alcohol has a lot to answer for! Should read:

A few times I have been that exhausted that I have fallen asleep and its not pleasant to waken up the following morning with massive leakage!

Another thought, what about keeping some baby wipes beside the bed for a quick freshen up? I maybe try that for tonight......

skin is waterproof.

do it on the outside of your body and wipe.

or go to the bathroom and give it a wipe or wash. bidet are very handy

Run to the loo as others have said and also keep a keep loo roll/old hand towel next the bed.

Haven't had to do it in a good while though. I miss sex!

We run to the toilet, I have a pee and a freshen up (its good to pee after, lessens risk of UTI) and DH has a wash then back to bed for cuddles

I keep loo roll by the bed for such occasions. Usually I remember to move it to within reaching distance.

When we are done, I lift my hips as DP withdraws, he hands me some loo rolls and I wipe away the splooge. Sometimes I have to get up a few minutes later and wipe again as the splooge can take some time to decend. Loo roll gets thrown in the bedroom bin or the floor depending on how tired/slatternly I am.

If I have forgotten to move the loo roll beforehand we perform some sort of shuffle with DP still inside. I absolutely hate getting a damp patch in the bed so we worked out this absurd routine to keep me happy.

same as ellielou

Bloody hell. Never have I been gladder to be gay

I am trying to concieve so I try and scoop it up by rubbing my fanjo up and down the bed while making hoover noises.

OMG...this is why the French have bidets, isn't it! I've only just realised. D'oh!

I usually try to ensure that any seepage happens on his side of the bed cos I hate the wet patch.

Usually we grab a towel to mop up with, sometimes if we're really organised and lacking in spontaneity we'll put a towel down beforehand then just bung it in the wash afterwards.

Absolutely hate the next day seepage - always seems to happen about half an hour after my shower as well - how does that happen?

Sorry conceive.

Previously just wipe with a tissue or I just sleep on the other side of the bed. Dp tends to nip to the bathroom.

Gay40, I actually find most of the sex goo comes from me. I have to wipe myself even if I've had solo sex or it gets uncomfortably sticky down there.

blimey, you lot are quite particular aren't you. i feel like I must be some kind of dirty ick-monster. i thought it was quite normal for both people to just go straight to sleep!