What do you do about the mess after sex?

[HeatherTrott]

Yes, I've name changed, I'm not really Heather Trott.

I just want to know what everybody else, who doesn't use condoms does about the mess after sex?

Do you go to the bathroom and sort yourself you, and wear a pad to catch the rest?

I'm fed up with waking up with a gigantic pool of stuff having leaked out of me.

I always used condoms before I met DH, so maybe he produces more than average "stuff", I'm not sure.

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If you've found this page in your search of how to clean up after sex and cleaning your sex toys, you might find our guide to the best sex toy cleaners useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

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< yawn >

Cracking thread ladies.I can't believe nobody has mentioned kitchen roll!

ben, isn't kitchen roll a bit rough though ?

perhaps kitchen roll advertisers could be on to something here...

we often just use the discarded knickers/undies on the floor

You do have a point AF.Although being a proper gentleman I only purchase the softest of ply.

I have a friend from Zimbabwe (?sp) where they use dusters for cleaning after sex. It is the custom to keep a clean duster and bowl of water under the bed. Actually buying dusters in Africa is seen a bit like buying condoms, every one does it but you wouldn't like to bump into someone you know with a packet in your trolly.
Personally I am a shower my Fanjita before and after kind of person. I suffer from UTI alot so cleanliness is of prime importance.

dusters ?

don't they leave fluff behind ???

Can you imagine, gloops of spunk with added yellow fluff, it would look like an STD!

I picked up a post sex tissue once in the middle of the night to blow my nose on, spunk and snot, ewwww.

spunk and snot ?

how would you tell the difference ?

If you had a cold you wouldn't, if you didn't, the smell would sort of give it away.

Zombie thread.

Reported.

And yes Nick it's very weird that anyone would have sex with you

Sounds rather gay, Nick

No, not weird at all Nick.
I bet she doesn't mind when you leave her air out either and put her back in her box in the wardrobe.

Sorry not read all of the messages but coughing really works and it depends on the guy. Some of them just produce a lot!

Oh Gawd not this again. OP if you break MN I will be very annoyed!

Err. You take it in turns to lay in the wet patch created equally. If either of you can't bear the other persons most personal body fluids just call it a day

ZOMBIE!!

We have baby wipes by the bed, and lay on towels. I clean up with baby wipes, and the towels go straight in the wash. Easy.
I hate the idea of condoms, I've never ever used them and never ever will.

ZOMBIE

Was coming to add "I have a beaker of course" even thought I have no penis

Ahh this is pre penis beaker.