ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Scorps, I think Happy gave you excellent advice. Reactivate you old thread & see what advice you get from people who followed your story from the begining.

Whatever else if you were to make a go of it you'd need to go to counselling to get to the root of why H turned to OW etc.. Best of luck.

Right, have shopped, eaten chocolate found in cupboard and slice of cake I made [yummy scrummy emoticon]

Starting, your baking abilities are similar to my cleaning abilities by the sound of it

I don't fully understand why, but I seem to always be the person who wants to please / help others (although I'm not too successful). Not great at relaxing and letting things happen. Have just wandered around shops with apparent obsession to get my outfit right for dumpling meet up (bizarre thing to do?)

Have been texted by friend I have had a few issues with re: going out tonight. Not sure whether I want to go but have said yes so may well happen. Makes me think a bit of you and your friend Starting - any news on that by the way?

And while I remember...I think it's really awful that so many are having issues with ILs. I don't speak to mine that often but they are 100% there (mentally if not physically) for the DC's and it would really really upset me if they weren't.

Hi Happy, I gave up the pleasing/helping others years ago. You will only get taken advantage of. I do however always try to do the right thing regardless of other peoples behaviour & this does seem to mean getting walked all over at times but I'm working on that.

Re friend (anything but), issue was never resolved & to be honest I couldn't forgive her now anyway. She'd always said she could really understand exh's behaviour because she was very like him, selfish/anger issues etc. I should have listened more carefully to that because eventually it was bound to come to me. Anyway, you live & you learn. I just hope I'll eventually get my money back from her

I lost a lot through split with exh re friendships/in-laws etc but I actually think it's a good thing in a way as it will allow me to make a complete fresh start. Obviously all these people were only fair weather friends so I'm better off without.

Hope you manage to resolve things & have a nice night out with your friend. Am at dumpling meeting outfit search.

Hello all,

Starting : glad to see you're holding up - I'm sure H will get fed up of texting all the time, but it works quite well sometimes for my SIL when her X arranges things direct with her eldest.

Maybees - sorry you're having a hard time with all this. Definitely crying can be theraputic I think. (I sometimes worry that I'm not upset and crying - wondering if I'm just bottling it up to much)

Happy - cake sounds like a lovely idea. Might make one myself at the weekend.

DS has gone off with H a bit early today as he hasn't had a nap (I'm too nice to send off a grumpy tired toddler that won't be able to wait for H to cook dinner!) so I'm sitting watching Slumdog millionaire and contemplating whether to bother with any housework this evening The way DS just happily trots between us though, makes me realise that we can't have done too badly on the parenting front so far, as he has a good bond with both of us - and I'm really glad we're managing to keep it that way

I have my weekly beer standing by, and the makings of (more - I've already had a plate full!) nachos. I think it may be bath, beer and Dvd after the film.

Hi everyone. Not too good at keeping up with this thread but here goes:

MB addiction is just so hard to deal with. Starting advice is always good. He does have to want to change. SOrry if youve been having a hard time

Starting Yes sorry its hard when they phone the DCs. Hopefully eventually long term he can have a relationship with them with you very little involved. Totally am with your take on friendships. SOmeone posted on another forum I think that there are 4 levels of friends:

1. Aquaintances
2. Associates
3. Friends
4. Close friends

Forgot all the definitions but for me it has been important to recognise who are real friends and who arent and to have expectations etc appropriate to my relationships with these people. Aquaintances are fine bit I wont expect anything of them!

Scorps - take it very slowly and get your thread going again

Chairmum -yes starting to feel havent done too bad a job either as DCs trot off very happily with H also

IfyourHappy also at looking for dumpling meet outfit. The way the weather is at the moment it will be my big warm ski jacket and big warm boots!

ILs stuff interesting. FIL never interested in anyone - only going to pub. MIL is nice to kids as H takes them there but not one person from his family (and I was friendly with several ) -has contacted me in a year of separation. Many of my friends not impressed and neither am I now.

Let us know how you are Tea and come on here and vent.

Any news of Moviegirl?

Dutchy -where are you?

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend.

Meeting up with a few friends and doing a couple of trips!

Thinking of making some wicked family recipe chocolate biccies. Does anyone else have a shocking chocolate habit at the moment. I had lost weight due to the stress but Im piling it back on with the dark stuff! Cant stop!

I can make the meet - but only for lunch - got to look after DCs otherwise. Did another meet from another forum today for lunch - have met them 3/4 times now and had a lovely time so hope we do too!

Hi MumFun

Biccies sound nice - I hope we get the recipe!

Well, my evening is changing. Friend rang at 7.30pm and said praps not tonight, could I do tomorrow (I can't ). I had a feeling that might happen. Am reviewing your friend classifications MumFun.

Ah well, the Pet Shop Boys are blaring out and dinner is on! Trying to fix YouTube. Remember to hover.

Another forum MumFun? (nosey emoticon]

OK Friday nite feeling a lot better thanks again TEAM wonderful to be able to SHARE

Just wanted to ask you a question........

"What sort of job do you think I would be good at ?"

I wont be offended just really interested in your opinions............

Well, I've know you for years so feel really qualified to answer that...

DJ?

Now I'm feeling under pressure

(I got it working)

On a serious note...

something peoply
something creative
nothing anal
probably not a computer programmer
probably not a typist
perhaps a singer or a dancer

Thanks Happy its just for fun much appreciated

Just fancied a bit of brainstorming .....

How do I do the link thing,can I cut and paste from you tube ?
I.T. not the strongest section of my CV but I can now do the occaisional A with my left hand ( if I can be bothered to use 2 hands) x

Links The simplest way to insert a link is to enter the link itself, surrounded by and . So if you type www.mumsnet.com, the link will display as www.mumsnet.com. If you want your link to display text other than the web address itself, leave a space after the address then add the text before the ]]. So "Look at this page", would display "Look at this page".

go to the top of your screen where the web address is and copy it - then try pasting it in following the instructions above = hit preview to checki it out before posting - the words above are also under the easter emoticons......

Gosh.... all I hear is la la la la Happy

Going to try my best .....know what you mean re choc mumfun ate x4 mars bars one morning last week but I think I may have peaked.

Good thing about inlaws deserting children is I have zero choc eggs to drool over.EEjits

Hi Chairmum, hope you're enjoying your relaxing night.

Hi Mumfun, glad you hear from you. Also glad I'm not the only one who's IL's have disappeared off the planet . Biccies sound great, another vote hear for sharing the receipe.

Hi Happy, sorry things didn't work out for you tonight.

Hi Maybees, whatever you do it should involve working with people .

Chairmum/Mumfun, I agree the mobile could be handy for dd making arrangements directly with exh. However given that he had no access for 5 mts & is now court ordered to have only 6 hrs it's inappropriate to be badgering dd already for more access all the time. I'm would be in favour of more access but just want bounderies for now. Don't want dc's getting hurt again. Anyway, it'll all work out in the end hopefully.

Thanks Startin PMSL at DAD OF THE YEAR x

My PILs are fully involved with their grand kids. I think they're ashamed by H's behaviour.

H came by today, told him I am starting divorce process. Seemed a little sad but also I think realised our situation is untenable. Was good with kids though whilst here. Its so sad, he will regret it in the years to come what he will loose and this affair won't last. The OW will not solve all his problems, it's not real life, it's a fantasy and still in the honeymoon stage of a relationship. She's very different from me, but not better IMO. She cheated on her own boyfriend to begin affair with my H. Says it all really... Its so sad how he is throwing away everything for her

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye3muhgz1lM&NR=1

Tea - how horrid, you're right he'll regret it at some point

Maybees - kind of worked - but didn't link to a specific song, was it supposed to? did you copy it from the top when you were on the same page as the song?

Hi Tea, glad you've got the support of PIL but sorry to hear that H is set on things with OW. .

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye3mvhgz1lM&NR=1

Good you have support from PIL TEA .I think grandparents sooooooo important makes me sad loads of cousins too but I think I shall invite everyone to dcs birthdays when they happen anyway.

Big hugs Tea x

Maybees, can't open the links for some reason....

2nd one def works if you cant thenlook for Booker T and the MGs Tic Tac Toe on you tube
I love this really happy tunes they were the backing band for Otis Reading ....love it !

Any luck Happy ?

Hope your managing to keep warm Smartie .