Are you 100% certain your dp/dh would never cheat on you?

[thesteelfairy2]

if you are why do you feel that way?

I am truly interested in the answers to this seeing as Mark Owen has joined the long line of celebrity cheating ar*eholes.

Also when I first met my ex h I would have bet a £million that he would never cheat on me. Even though it was in my face I trusted him implicitly because of all the things he said and his reactions to other peoples infidelities.

I personally am of the opinion that all men cheat given the opportunity, don't flame me though these are just my personal experiences of men. I have been in the army and worked mostly in male dominated environments so have extensive experience of random men and their relationship habits.

Snap! lookingahead - I felt the same. My h was the quiet one, the one I thought I could rely on - you know the type. Turns out I could spit him further than I can trust him - very sad.

ridiculous to think your partner would NEVER do it

I trust my DP absoloutly 100%. I wouldn't agree to marry or have children with someone I didn't trust. I trust him because he is honest and doesn't lie. The following are all reasons that make me DP a man who would never cheat.

He is respectable with high integrity as are his parents/family. His parents have been together for 40 years and they have remained faithful to each other.

His family have strong family values and I think this is a factor in whether a person is faithful or not. He is also not very adventurous and likes familiarity and predictability over change and excitment. He is reliable and dependable and of course he loves me to death and respects me.

He is not afraid of a strong woman and he is not intimidated by me. He is happy for me to follow my dreams and will support me whatever I decide to do.

If I earned more than him, he wouldn't feel threatened. We share the same basic values.

I don't think mine would. He just hasn't got it in him. His ex-wife cheated fr years and I think he was devastated by that. I don't think he'd want to hurt me or lose me.

High level of delusion going on here. Point is - we all could cheat. We may not want to but life moves pretty fast and all that.

Breastmilk's on me: NEWSFLASH - I don't think most people marry/breed with someone they don't trust? I hope your smuggery doesn't come back and take a great big chomp out of your arse.

More interesting point is is you/dp/dh were to be unfaithful, how do you respond. It's not necessarily a dealbreaker for everyone. is it?

Ouch, BravoJuliet, sounds like a nasty experience going on somewhere? TAYQ, second fella would adopt step-children as they'll add genetic variation to his tribe, next generation.

Happens all the time in the wild. Some species can regenerate, successfully, without variation, but not mammals. Hence the 'taboo' on incest. Even mice give preference to mixed-family pups.

No, am not 100% sure of anything.
It doesn't bother me though. No-one is 100% trustworthy and being unfaithful is not the worse thing my bloke could do to me.

TheCatAteMyGymsuit, well done you for saying: "It's not necessarily a dealbreaker for everyone, is it?"

Dear lord, no. If everybody investigated & knew about every infidelity - and considered it The End - there'd be more divorces than marriages until everyone was single!!

My own view is that, if it takes away^ from your relationship, it's a potential deal-breaker. That actually applies more to emotional affairs, than to a random shag on a stag do.

: If your home relationship does not enhance your life, it's wrong for you.
If it genuinely does - you're not 'walking on eggshells', doubting yourself or posting to this thread (!) - if you feel more desirable, capable, interested & interesting, confident & attractive with him than without him - the relationship is good for you, and you wouldn't even bother to ask this question.

: If your relationship doesn't do all the above for you, infidelity is not the issue. The problem is that you want to blame something/someone else, but actually the relationship is wrong.

i can happily with hand on heart state for absolute certainty that i know 100% he would never cheat. i just know him, inside out and back to front. its just not in him to do it. i was his first and last. nearly 20 years together and we have endured some absolute nightmares in which i have found out exactly what sort of a man he is, and if he was ever going to cheat, id know.

My husband thinks sex without marriage is morally wrong and wouldnt do it with me before that never mind about anyone else lol

vicar that is just what my now divorced friend thought about her ex h

Well feck you anyway ItsGraceAgain

Off to ponder if my relationship enhances me or not, will come back to answer thread another time

Yes. 100% trustworthy. Wouldn't tolerate anything else. Of course if he ever had cheated I would expect him never to tell me and carry his shame silently!

OK, Banshee, catch you later

Thank you ItsGraceAgain - I do feel it's an interesting issue. Especially as there are so many grey areas of 'cheating'.
I sincerely believe you never can tell, and pertinently, you never can tell how you will react to being the 'cheatee'.
For example, I would almost prefer to find about about a one-night stand that was pure sex than a longstanding 'emotional' affair.
Totally agree also that it's hardly a male preserve.
Interesting article about this in last week's Observer - some American chick who concluded that affairs can be actually beneficial to a relationship. Now that's radical.

sounds a bit 70s swinger to me

yeah it was a little bit Ice Storm

The only certain thing in life is death.

jasper - i know. but i know

i cheated. he knows. the way he dealt with it was what made me realise what i had and what i could have lost. it was a very long time ago and after a trauma which we both dealt with in very different ways. we had drifted apart. that was what brought us back to earth with a bump. we had counselling. he has never ever thrown it back in my face, not once. we dealt with it and moved on.

i know he will never cheat and he knows i wont. if our relationship ever got to that point again we wouldnt have to cheat. we are totally and utterly in tune with each other, we grew up together, i know him and he knows me better than we know ourselves. we have 100% trust. i met him at 15. he was 21. our 19th anniversary is next month.

i just know neither of us will ever cheat. if we ever got to that point again we would split, but not cheat.

so heart on sleeve but there you go.

I trust my DP, I know he wouldn't find it easy to lie to me. But no is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. I don't think expecting perfection from another person (or yourself) is a very healthy thing to base a relationship on.

steelfairy there are many men that wouldnt just cheat with anyone. My husband waited nearly 2 years to have sex with me as he doesnt believe in sex before marriage. There is no way he would ever cheat as he would think it is wrong. He also believes divorce is wrong so not all men are the same.

You may be 100% certain but that has no bearing on their behaviour at all.

I would be amazed, partly because dh thinks it's wrong and the most awful thing, partly because our communication is excellent, and partly because in all of our enormous extended family there has only ever been one divorce, 60 years ago(!), and one incidence of cheating that anyone knows about, so as a couple we are far removed from the notion that 'it happens' or that it's normal to have affairs (or even to get divorced), which is clearly how many people now see the world.