Heartbroken and alone

[Numptynoggin]

haven't posted on here for ages, but badly need someone to talk to.

I am a single mum and met a wonderful man 3 months ago. We were suited on every level and he made love to me like I have never ever been loved before. now he has ended it to get back together with an ex, and I am utterly devastated. We still talk every day as friends, and he has continued to suport me emotionally through some difficult times, and I cannot do without his contact. But I cry myself to sleep at night at the thought she is in his bed, that he is making love to her, cooking with her, laughing with her.

I miss him so so much, and just don't know how to handle this. Trying to keep it together for the kids, but so hard. Hurting so badly.

sadly there are quite a few of us who have been in a similar situation - i too mourned the loss of the relationship i had after my divorce, more than my marriage

sadly, the old ones are true, time heals. i never thought i would get over having my heart broken so spectacularly, but a year on and i am doing good - very good. am still single but heart more or less mended and am very happy.

coming on here to moan, scream and say the things you want to say to him (without saying it to him and regretting it) is what this is site for! so don't apologise and rant away!

look after yourself and your kids.

thank you... I badly badly need to tonight... and promise it will just be tonight... scottish mummy, can't do the wine thing as I am single and alone with the kids, so can't drink by myself... dvds too painful as he was real film buff and we did a lot of that... Mutha, just want to say, why? it went wrong with her before, what we had was so so so good,,,,

and he still isn't online, which means he is still in her fucking bed... oh fuckety fuck fuck fuck

thank you
that feels better

Please please try not to look at what he's doing. It's prolonging the torture if you know what he's up to. You have to break the cycle, do anything you can to do it.

I have no doubts it will go wrong with her again, but is your self esteem really so low that you'd take him back after this? Hopefully by the time it comes to it, you'll have moved right on. Thinking of you.

stop torturing yourself.mooooooooooove on.dont be so maudlin.time wasted mooning over him is time you wont get back

shit happens

so chins up.wash hair put on some slap.tomorrow is a another day

see, scottish mummy, this is why i wondered if it would be a good idea to post... allow me the space to be maudlin here anonymously for one eveing... I know shit happens... but this hurts.. and forgive me for needing virtual hugs and understanding for a few hours in the absence of anything else

yes,i know just a cautioary note.dont overdwell.have wee bubble.and move on

need to bubble tonight.... get it all out

Poor you... I do wonder though if he is keeping in touch with you just in case it doesnt work out elsewhere. he may not even realise that it what it is but he does seem to have very quickly gone from you to his new relatonship.

You might need to cut the contact to start to feel better about yourself. Not easy I know, when you are a single mum you do spend your life giving out love with often little adult affection back.

Have been single myself for 2 years without a whiff of afection from a man. Be strong, it will get better [smiles]

The thing is, it's fine to feel this way, I think we can all imagine your pain, but it's also hard to watch you rubbing so much salt in your own wounds.

I sometimes think we have access to too much info, you're really much better off not knowing if he's online. You're just handing him all the power.

You wouldn't believe the kinds of things my x does with his OW after the way he treated me. Glamorous meals out, concerts, weekends away abroad etc. I have to put it out of my mind and let it go, or it'd be complete torture.

I can see myself posting this to others in time to come, I really can... sorry for making you all go through tonight with me, but it is only tonight.... think this is a part of me needing to move on by even braving mn to discuss it.

just can't turn love off that quickly, you know? and I did adore him

no cant turn it off but can decrease its space/significance in your head.with diversion and not getting stuck

take care

have a bubble,but set a time limit - you dont want to be the lassie who cries every time his name is uttered

limit is midnight.... promise

oh fuckity

midnight it is hen.then no more greetin

I really have been where you are (too many times) and totally, totally understand why you're doing what you're doing (re Facebook) and the texts etc. I really do feel for you. I'm sure you will feel stronger tomorrow and that letting things out on here will help you.

When you are feeling stronger, the idea of changing his name on your phone to something derogatory is a good one. I changed my most recent to "Tosser" (simple but effective) and every time I thought of him, I'd mentally say "Tosser". It's childish but it helps to put them in the right category!

Secondly, tell yourself that "this too shall pass". The sorrow you are feeling will pass. You will get over this and you will be happy again. I know it doesn't feel like it but you will.

thank you... but hope you all get that I need to engage with it first?

he made me soooo happy.... probably sharing too much, but after my h, was a revalation to have someone who wouldn't pull out of me within seconds grabbing for tissues... someone who wanted to stay in me, and kiss me and hold me... never had that....

someone who tected me a pic of the moon on new years eve so we could look at it together even when we weren't

who dropped everthing even after we split to help me with going to the head when my boy was being bullied when I was too upset to think straight

I don't want to call him a tosser... just want it to stop hurting

no he isnt necessarily a tosser he just isnt your boyfriend.he has moved on.you need to.so long as he didnt keep 2 lassies going at once or two time etc then he isnt a meanie

on a positive you had a good time.met someone you liked and hopefully meet another nice man very soon

Of course... I think we probably all get that. Unless you're lucky enough to be with "the one" from the very beginning most of us will have suffered heartbreak and the devastating consequences.

I don't think you need constructive suggestions right now really but you may come back to them.

May I suggest, though, that you are kind to yourself and take things as gently as possible? Please don't punish yourself by imagining things you cannot possibly know.

thank you all.. am crying hard here... but maybe that's a good thing?

better oot than in i always say

loving the accent

he's still not posted or texted..... trying so hard not to just text to check he is ok.. but I won't

get a grip stop checkin up on someone else boyfriend.move on hen.he shouldnt be texting you he should be being attentive to his new burd

now harsh as that is, time to move on

I did.. he's still there... fucking hell... off to go get a grip of myslef... thank you all

you will get a grip.....and letting it out but setting a time limit is good, though I would say a good day or two feeling sorry for yourself is good - i do think letting it out is good and keeping it bottled up will only prolong/make things worse.

why - that is the same question i had when it happened to me and i never did find out. but when i was going through this, i refused to be his friend - he did the whole 'oh i'll still be your friend and be here for you' bollocks, my ex and yours just said that to make themselves feel better.

for me personally - zero contact was the best way to go as it would have just prolonged and drawn out the hurt.

stop checking, know it's hard but maybe you should switch off phone for a few days/a week if you can