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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this man running away or just wary?

187 replies

hellisempty · 25/02/2010 21:12

Okay, deep breath, name changed?
I have been casual friends through work with a chap for several years. we never socialised and I never knew his family or anything ? just simply a salesman at work that I chatted to when he made his rounds. We met up again last year after losing touch for a few years and the friendship came straight back but more flirty, cheeky and friendly. We swapped numbers and texted for a couple of weeks. He told me he had a DS who was a year younger than my own and that he?d split with his last GF as she was getting too serious. We arranged to meet up a few times and had ?fun? and it was really nice. Needless to say I fell for him very hard!

He had said he would not let a casual GF meet his son as he was worried about giving him the wrong idea or confusing him which sounded reasonable. The problem is that this man plays hot and cold a lot and I am not sure if I am being strung along or not. I had asked him if I was a casual thing and he said I was very much planned and worst case I was a friend whether I liked it or not!

He invited me to spend New Year?s Eve with him and turned down invites from his family and friends to be with me, then he asked me to go bowling with him and his DS and of course my DS which went really well and I wondered if this meant something? being tested on approval for example? He had already met my son a number of times since I am a single parent and can?t always get childminders and he does ask how he is getting on and has brought treats for him on one occasion.

He surprised me with a visit on a couple of occasions, which was lovely and then gave me a valentine card. I had actually sent him one not knowing if I would see him since he does live quite some distance away from me and I was surprised when he hand delivered me one. Nothing slushy or anything just a funny card with my name written in it.

I asked if he had got mine and he said he had but he had not known if I would get him one and thought it was nice to give. I was not sure if that meant he always intended to get me one or if he was just trying to make it seem like he was not getting me one out of obligation.

The last time I saw him was lovely and he said that he had really enjoyed spending time with me. He said he enjoyed it even when we just chatted and each other?s company. He referred to the bowling day out and said he had a really good time just being with me.

This last week or so I have not heard from him though. He does sometimes go through an illusive phase every now and then and I think that it means he has lost interest but then he is suddenly just the same as normal. Anyway, I got a message last Saturday from him and nothing since. I have sent him 3 text messages this week and not had a reply. He is a busy chap and an active father and he has been away on business so I don?t know if it is just one of those things or if he is dodging me.

I could kick myself for texting now instead of ringing. I never rang for fear of what he might say if I am honest!! But now I cannot ring because it would seem like I am stalking him!!! So?. Is he just a busy chap afraid of commitment and taking 2 steps backwards and 1 step forward or is he actually dropping me?

Sorry it is long!

OP posts:
hellisempty · 28/02/2010 21:30

Eurostar - insecurity or control on whose part mine or his?

I can see this is going to go badly but I will tell you anyway.... he is a giver in bed.

In all of my previous relationships and I do mean all they started off as give and take but it was never long before I was putting in all of the effort, they were taking it and then giving nothing back.

You will not be shocked to know that I am a giver!!! I like sex a lot - part of the passionate nature I guess and without being vomit inducing or TMI I get a kick out of it and can be a bit wild in bed.

But it always went the same way, I had to adapt to what they liked, do what they liked and they just took. My last boyfriend only gave me an orgasm once, same for the guy before him and my husband became so lazy that in the last few years of our marriage would get what he wanted, roll over and go to sleep and I would have to do the same or do myself if I tried to get him to do me first as it was then it resulted in an argument.

So as usual I gave up trying to get what I wanted because at the end of the day I liked sex with or without the final fireworks for me... just would have been nice to get it is all.

With the previous guys I had to tame it down and hold myself back a lot too which was very frustrating but again I adapted.

With salesman guy, I don't have to hold back because he is exactly the same as me... he likes the same things done to him as I do and he likes to do the same things as I do - we just fit really well in that respect

Being a giver for him is a two fold thing. Firstly, he has admitted that he finds giving women lots of pleasure to be a bit of a power trip. He likes to explore and learn and try things to really get their motor running because it makes him feel good about himself.

The second reason is that he can last a really long time, boy can he but once he has orgasmed that is him for the night. He said he very rarely manages a second time. (In fact he managed a second time on our first time and was astounded! He never managed it again though). He said he has always been that way even when young. This guy is really fit, sporty, healthy diet etc so maybe this is just the way he is. Some guys are reasonably quick but can go again and again, this guy can last all night but once he is done he is done!

So.... what has usually happened so far is lots of mutual heavy petting and messing about and so on, then I naturally take control - because that is what I do and cannot help myself when I get really into it - and then when he starts to reach a certain point of arousal he stops me, flips me and concentrates on me. Still lots of kissing and petting and so on with both of us joining in but he controls that bit so that he doesn't get too excited. He makes sure that I 'get mine' and only then would he actually let go of some of the control and get his with me.

That is not to say that I have no say in things, I actually really like it because it is refreshing having someone who likes the same things, who wants to be a bit dominant instead of lying back and being lazy, and it is great having someone who actually cares if I am having fun or not. He does know when I want to stay in control though and when that is the case he does let me. It is not a case of his way or no way. It is a mutual thing.

Not sure any of that made sense being in code!!! but hope so!

He has told me - as I think I said before - that he is hesitant for any relationship because he is so much happier now single than when he was married.

The marriage did not work because they had nothing in common. No one did anything wrong as such they just weren't suited. She had gotten pregnant so he tried to do the right thing by marrying her - it seemed right to both of them because from what he has said they did love each other but over time they just because friends rather than lovers and he said if it was not for their son they would probably never have spoken after the divorce because they have nothing to say to each other. As it is they are friendly and amicable and all credit to them both.

So his issue is that he does not know if that means he is happier being a single guy doing what he wants when he wants and he is not ready for sharing his life with someone else or if it is simply because his marriage was not right for him so now that he is not in it he can be happier.

Until he works that out then anything with me would be doomed anyway. All other issues aside.

As for the raw sexual relationship bit... he could have had that with me if he wanted. He was the one who introduced the domestic stuff. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all of that with him immensely but it developed that way because of his actions.

He does get excited by me and it is usually him who makes the first move when we sleep together but it honestly felt like he was trying to get to know me and show an interest rather than just jumping my bones and heading off. He asks about my day, how my job hunting is going, how my friends are, how my son is getting on at school, tells me about his day and his son and his family and so on... the whole package.... well clearly not the whole package or there would be no need for this thread.

Gay stuff... not an issue. I have a gay best friend!!! who really wants to jump his bones! Actually my gay friend is technically bi sexual just prefers men. He has had girlfriends, even married one but prefers men over women. And he has made no secret of wanting to sleep with salesman because he is so hot (well he is!!!) but salesman was a firm no on that one!! It was a very funny conversation that night I can tell you but he said he just does not find the idea appealing in the slightest, he is a chilled and relaxed guy so thinks each to their own but it is not for him.

OP posts:
hellisempty · 28/02/2010 21:37

Actually Grace, you are doing surprisingly well there! Yes I did get told I had an old head on young shoulders!

And I always felt like my parents loved me because they had to, I was their daughter so it was kind of mandatory but I did not feel like they loved me. Not sure that makes sense at all!!

I don't think I have ever felt really loved and I could never understand why because I asked for so little from anyone.

I would listen to my friends take about their partners and some of the things they did were horrendous and they treated them so badly, like the guys was worthless and should be grateful for every scrap of attention given.

I always thought that was awful and that it should be give and take with both trying to make the other happy.

Clearly I did the giving bit but forgot to do the taking bit! And then along comes salesman so very different from every single bloke I have ever been with and I get blinded by him!

OP posts:
dittany · 28/02/2010 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsGraceAgain · 28/02/2010 22:03

Helli, I'm going to stop here. I believe I understand you quite well - amongst other reasons, because you remind me of me in many ways (not all). I think you have issues, stemming from your childhood, that are SCREAMINGLY obvious to other people. Especially to selfish, manipulative men.

I don't know whether "salesman guy" is a bad one or not - though I've made my suspicions clear enough. More importantly, I hope you do manage to find your way to genuine self-knowledge and self-acceptance. Good luck with whatever you choose to do about it

Remotew · 28/02/2010 22:21

Helli, you have been able to describe yourself and Salesman, as you see him, in great detail. I have been following this thread and like Grace can see aspects in you that are similar to me. I am older than you and have learnt to avoid getting in too deep with unsuitable men. I am still single and will be until I meet someone suitable.

Your Salesman sounds very similar to my Salesman, fortunatley I got out before I got in. IYSWIM.

I can tell from your description of the sex side of things that you are hoping that the sex he has with you is better than the sex he has with others. If that were true then he wouldn't need to have these others, but he still wants to. Men like this like variety and may even settle down with someone much less adventurous in the bedroom. Baffling, I know.

outofmysystem · 28/02/2010 22:25

hellis,

I haven't got any real wisdom for you exactly but I do think you are clearly special,just too self aware and perfectionist to really know it yourself.

Your loneliness may be more to do with being self conscious and not very confident ~ try to explore this a bit and do an assertiveness course perhaps.

Try to believe in yourself,get out and meet lots of people not to get a relationship but to widen your group and the more friends you make,the easier it will get.

Good luckx

berries · 01/03/2010 11:53

oh hellis, are you me? all I can say is I'm twelve months further on and it's breaking my heart

hellisempty · 01/03/2010 12:41

Hi
Thanks for all of your replies. I really am thinking about what you have said and I am trying to decide on the right thing for me to do in the grand scheme of things.

My heart really wants to keep going on with this man to see what happens. I hate quitting, I hate giving up when I can see good in something and I see a lot of good in him.

However... I have not contacted him all weekend and I will continue to slap my own hand when it reaches for the phone to give myself some time and to see if he does come after me.

I feel so raw and hurt and confused. I sobbed and sobbed last night and this morning I am calmer again - always am for my little one - but inside I feel like I am only half a person. Perhaps I have always felt like that, who knows!

I feel very alone and feel like I always will be because I always am. Even when I am with a crowd of people I still feel alone and that I am not really accepted. He was the only one I felt different with.

Still the last thought in my head when I went to sleep last night and the first thought in my head when I woke up this morning.

Thankfully I am at work - just having lunch now - so I have been able to distract myself a bit but I know hysteria is just bubbling under the surface.

I always thought I was strong because no matter what anyone threw at me I always coped, always got through it, always got up when I was knocked down and did it all myself.

Maybe I had that wrong... maybe I am actually weak. I just don't know any of the answers anymore because confusion and so much pain has taken over.

Berries... so sorry to hear you are hurting. Clearly I can't give you any advice but you do have my sympathy and I really hope things work out for you. take care xx

OP posts:
dittany · 01/03/2010 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsGraceAgain · 01/03/2010 14:09

Everything Dittany said
Take care of you, you deserve care.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 01/03/2010 15:52

Good luck Hellis - haven't posted before but have been following along. Dittany is right. You sound really lovely, and I really hope you will find someone amazing who will want to make you as happy as you will make him.

Just had to comment on this: "I don't think I have ever felt really loved and I could never understand why because I asked for so little from anyone." This is so sad, and I feel intrusive commenting on something so fundamental, but I must tell you: love does not depend on you asking little of people. That is, asking for a tiny level of commitment or kindness from someone does not make them love you, like it did your teachers. No-one is going to say "hellis is no trouble, my I might just marry that woman right now!". People love you for the person you are, in yourself, anything else is just selfishness.

For example what struck me in the Wonderwoman -v- Chinese water torture analogy, is that that is what happens when someone (you) cannot just come out and say what they really want. What that bloke "loved" about you was that you were so "non judgemental...sweet, giving, strong and independent" - all those things are different ways of saying that you didn't ask for much, and you gave a lot. The chinese water torture element came in when what you wanted started to make itself known through your irrepressible questions, interest, curiosity. He didn't like that because he "loved" you as a comforting, almost mother-like presence, not asking anything from him. He didn't really love you, he loved the smooth, friendly, caring facade that you have built for yourself.

Mothers look after their kids without respecting anything in return. With adult relationships you don't have to behave in that way - they are supposed to be mutually supportive.

I am probably rambling, but to sum up this is my advice to you: the more you expect, the more you get. Expect a man who makes a big effort for you, who wants to be with you in a committed relationship as well as respecting your boundaries. They do exist, but you won't find one while you are prepared to settle for less.

hellisempty · 01/03/2010 17:10

Thanks for your kind words and advice. I do appreciate you all taking the time to reply to me even if some things were not what I wanted to hear. I obviously needed to hear them.

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