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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Yes it's another cliched 'he's having an affair' thread - HELP!!!

240 replies

MaggieMuggins · 26/01/2010 11:50

So, after trawling MN relationship threads for the last hour I can see that everything I am about to say is so 'classic' it's untrue

DH and I have been together for 14 years, married for 4 and DD is 15 months. I became suspicious that he was having an affair before Xmas - we have had the 'I'm just not very happy at the moment' conversation - and after a bit of snooping and a few pennies dropping I confronted him last night and told him that I knew there was something going on with him and his teaching assistant. (An interesting take on the boss-secretary cliche, no?)

I also told him that part of the reason that I'd been able to work it out was because the year before we decided to have a baby one of my own work colleagues had told me that they had fallen for me, and I had an emotional affair with him. Nothing really happened, and I worked through it all alone (it was the year that DH was doing his teacher training and I was at a really low ebb, very flattered by the attention but ultimately it was never going to go anywhere).

Anyway, he admitted that they had grown close (says they haven't kissed, but 'sort of' told each other that they have feelings). He also admitted that he had met her on Saturday when he went out for the afternoon, but says that they just met up and wandered round the shops. I think I believe him.

Anyway, DH and I have had a crap sex life for years and never really dealt with it. We are like two best friends sharing the same house/parenting. I have tried so many times over the years to talk to him about it but he's just buried his head in the sand, told me he loves me, ignored the problem. I would desperately love for us to get that spark back, and I can't cope with the lack of physical affection for much longer.

He says he doesn't know what he wants - before Xmas he was convinced he wanted to leave, but now he's not sure. Doesn't know how he feels about this OW. I've told him that he MUST talk to a friend, that's the one thing he has agreed to do. I told him I want to go to counselling but he said he needs time to think first.

I feel completely bereft and terrified of losing him. I am also angry that he has done this to me when I need him so much right now (am at threat of redundnacy at work, just to add insult to injury) and I am feeling physically unattractive and knackered from working full time and dealing with motherhood and trying to get to the gym and trying to have a social life and trying to keep the house nice. When we had DD I thought I had everything I wanted. What a complacent fool I have been.

OP posts:
curvychick · 26/01/2010 11:57

I have no advice for you at all as i think i am in the same boat as you. I hope things work out for you and after he has had a think, he agrees to go to relate or something similar.

I have no wise words but MN is full of women with good sound advice and i'm sure they will be along soon.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling bereft and terrified.........

Darknightofthesoul · 26/01/2010 12:11

Hi Maggie

I feel for you it is a horrible situation to be in.

It sounds as though you know you need to do something about your relationship and this is just forcing the issue into the foreground.

Maybe you can see it as the jolt you both need to address the problems and make a proper decision whether to stay together and work things out or call it a day and split up.

Don't let him drag things out without making a decision or you will drift on and not resolve anything.

I am further down the line than you in that I was the one to have an affair, admitted to DH I didn't know if I still loved him, and am now working through the hard stuff with Relate. It is still better than settling for a poor relationship.

You weren't able to sort it out on your own you need to do it together.

Why don't you start the counselling on your own and leave it to him to decide whether he wants to join you later? You could start by looking at the reasons you feel bereft and terrifed and how you would cope if he doesnt want to stay?

You sound stronger than you realise. Good luck

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 26/01/2010 12:38

This is a horrible place to be and I'm so sorry. There is hope here though - keep hanging on to that.

Go on to Amazon and buy a book called "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass. This book will be a revelation to you - you will see what has been happening for him (and you) in recent months. You will also be able to see how this happened to you, when you had your EA.

Unfortunately, because you resolved your issues on your own, the reason for it occurring was never dealt with by you as a couple (although I understand why you chose not to tell). Tell us, what was his reaction to your revelation? Complacency works both ways, you know.

When a discovery like this happens, real honesty about what is really going on is rare. He's been confronted and caught out - and so often, people in this situation will admit to only what you can prove. At the moment, you can prove the existence of OW, but you cannot (unless you've seen sexual texts) prove physical infidelity. The script that is usually followed is: nothing has happened (yet), followed by "yes, we have kissed", sometimes "we haven't had full sex" and then, "ok, we have had sex".

When I discovered my H's affair, he was honest with me about the physical activity and the number of meetings, but less honest about the emotional feelings that had underscored the affair. Once you know you've been deceived, it is terribly important to one's own self-esteem that you verify what you're being told. My H showed me some of the later E mails from OW and I had access to his phone bills, plus I'd seen some texts myself, so my mission was to cross match all the irrefutable evidence with what he was telling me himself. In your shoes, I'd do the same.

He's in dangerous territory right now. He thinks he might be in love with OW - he has an emotional connection to her. He is not seeing her in an objective light - and unfortunately, at this "idealising" (of her)stage, any rose-coloured spectacles he's had about you over the years have been removed. He's probably only been seeing your faults - and creating imaginary ones to boot. Men like this are described in the above book as "monogamous infidels". They cannot rationalise having feelings for two people and so they transfer allegiance to the person they feel most connected to at that time. However, so often, these feelings don't last - it is infatuation, not love.

You have several weapons in your armoury here, assuming you want to hang on to him and your marriage. You understand why and how this has happened. I'll bet you have already worked out yourself that this woman is fulfilling a need in your H to be adored and respected. Anything can happen now - it can be a wake-up call for you both to revive your marriage and affair-proof it for the future, it can be a chance for you to call time on a marriage that hasn't been working for you either, or he might leave and convince himself (ridiculously) that this is true love with OW and he'd be better off with her.

The only thing you can control is your behaviour. If you both want to make a go of it, he must sever contact with OW (and that does mean not working with her) and you start a long and painful (but rewarding) journey. If he's dithering, take control and ask him to move out temporarily - this will force him to confront the choices he's got and some of the fantasy element will disappear when he has to explain to his head-teacher, who will have heard the staff-room gossip. Work out what you want and tell him.

You will feel resentment that he has done this to you just when you've been facing other setbacks in your life - I was the same, but people involved in affairs are supremely selfish and sometimes, the timing of them is the least of their worries.

Counselling probably won't work at the moment, while he is so conflicted.

MaggieMuggins · 26/01/2010 15:47

Thanks for the replies - and the advice, even though it is conflicting!! I don't know what to do for the best.

Curvy, I hope to god you are not in the same boat, but the overwhelming evidence here on MN seems to indicate that if you think you are then you are

Darkknight, I just met up with a friend who said the same thing - start the counselling and see if he will join me. We're both agreed on one thing and that's that we can't stay together for the sake of DD, it has to be because we both want to be together.

Whenwillifeelnormal, his reaction was muted. I think he was in shock that I'd sussed him out, he went very quiet and said 'what do you want me to say?' He didn't give me much to cling on to, to be honest. In the past he has always been the one to brush things under the carpet when I raise them, now he says he can't tell me any more what I want to hear, so he is going to the other extreme and refusing to give me any crumbs of comfort.

The thing that is really going to eat me up is the fact that he will be spending all day every day with her. I know that he texted her last night, once the dust had settled. He had to go out for milk for DD's breakfast and texted her. And again before we went to bed. Not sure how they can possibly sever contact, at least until the end of the school year. So if things are shit at home and he looks forward to going into work every day how can I compete with that??

OP posts:
MortaIWombat · 26/01/2010 16:20

I would kick him the fuck out, personally. Let him explain that in the staff room.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 16:28

oh dear

like you said, OP, your situation is soooo full of cliches

I honestly do not know what to say, bearing in mind you have seen lots of threads on here with similar problems

I always tend to agree with wwifn, she gives clear and consistent, "been-there-done-that" advice

all I can suggest is what I would do in this situation...and that is to make him move out

it may drive him right into her arms...but if that happens, you have your answer

I would not be begging, or pleading, or listening to any self-pity from him about how "hard" all this is

shape up (and that means no contact except the unavoidable, during very narrow school hours, I understand he cannot just off and leave his job)...or ship out

I would make him tell her it is over, by telephone, whilst you are there

I would also be having a word with her...but I know that is generally a no-no on MN, so probably not for everyone

I wish you all the best x

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 26/01/2010 16:30

My strong advice is don't let him think he has an option to keep you both on at the same time. Your self esteem will plummet even further. Can he go sick while you sort this out (and therefore she is out of the picture) and can you get someone to look after DC for a couple of days? This is a crisis of epic proportions - you two need time to sort out what you really want.

You cannot compete with her at the moment while retaining the status quo - and don't try. You can compete when he thinks he's lost you and has to face the world with his behaviour and his choices. That's why I'm urging you to take control. If you've read these boards this morning, you will have seen that men very often come to their senses at the point when their wives took control, started calling the shots and emptying clothes in to bin bags.

You're right - you cannot stay together for the sake of DC. That's the clarity you need now. Has this made you realise you do love him and want him, or are you not sure - you haven't said yet.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 16:30

and don't keep it a secret...all that does is make sure he keeps good-guy status, makes it easier on him and cuts you off from a lot of potential support

make him tell his family, for a start

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 26/01/2010 16:34

I agree AF - now that the affair is (semi) out in the open, in my book he has to make a choice. I suppose we're all different. I know I couldn't have put up with any vacillation at all - it had to end right then, with no contact at all thereafter. OP, is she married herself or in a relationship? I'd be telling her partner too at some point.

Aussieng · 26/01/2010 16:59

Maggie You could have been writing the story of my first marriage. I think you have a huge problem in that your DH is a bury his head in the sand, does not want to talk about problems kind of guy. In my experience these types of men (people?) often find it easier to build new relationships than improve upon or work upon old/existing relationships because the existing relationships require a much deeper level of communication/self analysis than they are able to bring to bear. With a new person (OW) you (ie your DH) can actually be quite superficial whilst appearing to that person to be quite tragic and soulful and introspective. This is what makes for the "star-crossed lovers" feeling that so many people having affairs seem to have - a feeling of a deeper connection than you have with your wife. The truth usually is that your wife knows you best and would not listen to your shit.

I generally find that when men whimper on about how they do not know what they want, they generally know exactly what they want but do not know how to get it without looking like the bad guy.

Are you really terrified of losing him? Or terrified of being on your own with a LO?

Finally, I agree with AF/WWIFN - if you maintain the status quo and you are the needy one making him feel pressured into making a choice and she is the escape route the you will lose in the comparison. I'd make him move out until he sorts himself out. You also need to treat this as if this really is the end of the road for you two. That is the thing most likely to bring him to his senses but then if it does not work out you will have made a start at moving on.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 17:57

bloody hell, you two (wwifn amd aussieng) astound me with your wisdom, sometimes

truly

chippychippybangbang · 26/01/2010 19:46

OMG Aussieeng, you have so totally described my situation too..

And AF, you're a wise bird yourself (you usually know me under another name!!)

Anyway, OP, so sorry this has happened to you. With the benefit of hindsight, I'd also adopt a zero tolerance policy - get him out now, keep minimal contact for the moment, and see how he reacts. If he wants you, he'll work for you. If not, let the OW keep him, that's punishment enough for them both.

I'd only consider reconciliation with him after total disclosure and commitment to working through this as a team. I couldn't put up with them continuing to work together either, he'll have to sort that one out..

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 26/01/2010 19:49

Aussieeng - oh so true

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 19:59

do I chippy ? < clueless >

MaggieMuggins · 26/01/2010 20:00

Cor, you lot give some tough advice!!

Since I got home this evening he has told me that he is going to visit him mum this weekend. I think he's going to go and see his best mate from back home and have the heart to heart I asked him to have - so at least he is doing the one thing I requested of him.

I don't know whether the OW is in a relationship - I think she's single.

I do love him, I really really do. Although I am scared at the thought of being a single parent (I was brought up in the same situation as DD would be if we split) it is the thought of us not being a family and growing old together that is really breaking my heart.

And the trouble with all this is that I completely understand where he is coming from. If he had rumbled me 3 years ago I may have been coming out with the same things he is. The only difference is that whereas I know mine was a 'blip' I am not sure whether his is - I took a chance on confronting him and lay my cards on the table. I couldn't not, once I knew. But that's a risky strategy - after all, it may have fizzled out as mine did.

Thank you all so much for listening, it is so good to write these things down.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 20:08

err, forgive me if I have misunderstood maggie...

no consequences then ?

or are you relying on the fact it will fizzle out ?

you don't have to keep paying the price of what you did 3 yrs ago, you know, I presume you have more than made up for it since then?

or has your relationship run its course...and your indiscretions were just the start of it ?

it's just that I didn't think that is what you wanted

chippychippybangbang · 26/01/2010 20:23

AF, you once said you would like your future DIL to be like me - one of my proudest MN moments!
Got spectacularly outed in RL though, so have had to namechange due to amount of personal stuff I feel compelled to post on here!!

Maggie, I don't think you can sweep this under the carpet. If you're both looking elsewhere for emotional fulfilment, you really need to look at what's missing in your relationship and start working together to put it right, if that's what you both want.

Are you sure he's actually going to his mum's? Sorry, have been there (not to his mum's, in the situation!) and am now highly suspicious. I'd check by phoning him there, and not on his mobile..

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 20:31

< ponders, future DIL...erm..erm... >

nope lost it to the mists of time

no matter, am happy to stay confused

MaggieMuggins · 26/01/2010 20:48

Yes, he is definitely going to his mum's - just had to help him book a train as said I want the car this weekend!

AF, I am not saying that there won't be any consequences, but I do think that I need to give him the chance to talk to a trusted friend about things.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 20:52

ok maggie, fair enough, sorry I did jump on you

you just seem a little bit disconnected from it...however, it's not up to me to plug you in

all the best....I hope you can sort this out if it's what you both want

carry on posting, you will get lots of support

MaggieMuggins · 26/01/2010 21:02

I'm not disconnected but I am feeling a bit numb. When I was confronting him about things last night I couldn't stop shaking and crying for about 5 hours and I think I have closed down a bit today, probably just self-preservation. And I'm confused about what to do for the best. The friend I met today told me the exact opposite of what most of you have been saying; i.e. no ultimatums, sort out some counselling, don't force the issue yet, as it may just backfire and send him into her arms. So I'm just trying to weigh things up.

Anyway, thanks for the support, I will no doubt come back with an update and to tell you all that I was wrong and should've taken your advice!!

OP posts:
labrawoman · 26/01/2010 21:05

You had an "emotional affair" three years ago. Your sex life has been crap for years. You have been together for a long time. You are dealing with all the huge stresses and strains of coping with a young child. It sounds to me that whatever his relationship with this woman is, it isn't going to compete with the shared history and the shared future you two could have together.

Maybe just as you were flattered by the attention of a work colleague when he was doing his teacher training, he has been flattered by the attention of a work colleague when you're attention is more (and understandably) taken up with your child.

What a shame to let it go without a fight. You have such a huge advantage to this woman, he won't want to lose his marriage, you and his child. You both need to sort out your communciation and your sex life. Book in for marriage counselling, sort your problems and appreciate each other. If this woman was so great, he would have gone.

Fruitysunshine · 26/01/2010 21:11

I don't have any advice to add but just wanted to say how sorry I am to read what is going on in your life just now.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 21:16

well, I would rather send someone off into another's arms

than hang on and hope for the best and leave the ball in their court

because when you do that are you ever really sure they stayed because they really wanted to ?

give him his freedom to do what he wants...I think you get a truer picture of where he stands, tbh

actually, I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to deal with something like this

you have to do what feels comfortable

me, I am impatient, I could not cope with giving him time to work it out, I would take control

I think that my self-esteem would thank me for that, later on down the line, whichever way it went

good luck xx

Fruitysunshine · 26/01/2010 21:27

AF - I think I agree with you..

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