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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Yes it's another cliched 'he's having an affair' thread - HELP!!!

240 replies

MaggieMuggins · 26/01/2010 11:50

So, after trawling MN relationship threads for the last hour I can see that everything I am about to say is so 'classic' it's untrue

DH and I have been together for 14 years, married for 4 and DD is 15 months. I became suspicious that he was having an affair before Xmas - we have had the 'I'm just not very happy at the moment' conversation - and after a bit of snooping and a few pennies dropping I confronted him last night and told him that I knew there was something going on with him and his teaching assistant. (An interesting take on the boss-secretary cliche, no?)

I also told him that part of the reason that I'd been able to work it out was because the year before we decided to have a baby one of my own work colleagues had told me that they had fallen for me, and I had an emotional affair with him. Nothing really happened, and I worked through it all alone (it was the year that DH was doing his teacher training and I was at a really low ebb, very flattered by the attention but ultimately it was never going to go anywhere).

Anyway, he admitted that they had grown close (says they haven't kissed, but 'sort of' told each other that they have feelings). He also admitted that he had met her on Saturday when he went out for the afternoon, but says that they just met up and wandered round the shops. I think I believe him.

Anyway, DH and I have had a crap sex life for years and never really dealt with it. We are like two best friends sharing the same house/parenting. I have tried so many times over the years to talk to him about it but he's just buried his head in the sand, told me he loves me, ignored the problem. I would desperately love for us to get that spark back, and I can't cope with the lack of physical affection for much longer.

He says he doesn't know what he wants - before Xmas he was convinced he wanted to leave, but now he's not sure. Doesn't know how he feels about this OW. I've told him that he MUST talk to a friend, that's the one thing he has agreed to do. I told him I want to go to counselling but he said he needs time to think first.

I feel completely bereft and terrified of losing him. I am also angry that he has done this to me when I need him so much right now (am at threat of redundnacy at work, just to add insult to injury) and I am feeling physically unattractive and knackered from working full time and dealing with motherhood and trying to get to the gym and trying to have a social life and trying to keep the house nice. When we had DD I thought I had everything I wanted. What a complacent fool I have been.

OP posts:
MaggieMuggins · 30/01/2010 23:56

OK, need to try and sleep. But thank you all for the support and advice. Will take stock and come back when I know what I need to ask about...

Who knows, in a few months' time maybe I will be able to post good advice and be the one supporting someone else through something similar.

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AnyFucker · 30/01/2010 23:59

maggie, I think you will

good night and rest as much as you can, check in tomorrow x

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 31/01/2010 09:30

Maggie - so sorry to read this. I can imagine how much this hurt, on many levels.

I expect you feel that you must have been living in a parallel universe all this time, believing that your relationship was intrinsically fine, but with a few problems that could have been ironed out. Please trust yourself well enough now to affirm those instincts. Please see your H's mindset now as just another stage in "the script" that so many betrayers follow.

They just cannot cope with the truth, so they conveniently re-write history. Pretend that their primary relationship has been unhappy for a long time and reason that if it hadn't, they wouldn't be doing this. This is much more comfortable to live with than the more unpleasant fact that the reason they are having an affair is because of a weakness in them and not their relationship.

They never question why, if they were so unhappy, they didn't bring their grievances to the table. Never challenge themselves that even if they were unhappy, bringing a new love interest into the mix might be the wrong way of resolving problems in an adult, responsible fashion.

They also never wonder why, if they were so unhappy, they didn't confront the situation in an adult way and bring the primary relationship to an end. Instead, they continue to deceive their primary partner and wait to say all this only once they are caught out having an affair.

Your H is even going one stage further than this and is re-writing the future too. Comforting himself that the future marriage would be hell because you'd never be able to forgive and that he might regret a path not taken.

Unfortunately, when someone is in this place, there is nothing you can immediately do to shake them from these delusions. All you can do is assert yourself and make your own choices.

Tonight therefore, I would be telling him that you understand the script he is following exactly - there is nothing new in any of it - but that you refuse to collude with it. That you trust yourself and your memories completely and you merely see his version as an evasion of responsibility.

I would then make sure your actions force him to take some responsibility for once and get him to move out. As we've all said on this and other threads, it's a bit of a cold shock when these history re-writers have to face up to what they've done and go public with their behaviour. You might want to think about some cards you've got up your sleeve - I can't imagine for example, that his head teacher is going to be enamoured with having a love-sick couple teaching a class. Don't collude in their secrecy.

OW will also be following a similar script no doubt. She's probably justifying her own behaviour by convincing herself that he hadn't been happy for ages and that in any case, their love is "so special" they were powerless to do anything about it. The more uncomfortable truth however is that in all probability, she set her sights on a married man with a young child and then did everything in her power to get him away from his wife. Because her conscience won't allow that truth, she has probably been living in her own bubble. Once the affair is actually exposed however - and people start to see through these delusions - it becomes an uncomfortable place for her too.

Remember Maggie that the facts are unassailable. No matter what led up to it, adultery and deceit are wrong - as adults we can rationalise that we understand why it happens, we can even have some sympathy for human fallibility, but none of this ever makes adultery right. Don't ever let them off the hook with that, however much they excuse it to the outside world.

I'm glad you've reflected about his controlling behaviours too. This will really help you if you need to move on and away from him - as it will also help if you ever re-build with him.

I'm sure you've been doing a lot of thinking yourself about what life might be like without him and I hope you can see some positives - it sounds like you can, which gives you a lot of strength.

Keep posting.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 31/01/2010 10:34

Great post WWIFN.

MaggieMuggins · 31/01/2010 11:39

That is a great post - thank you WWIFN

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AnyFucker · 31/01/2010 11:39

bloody hell, wwifn, you are good

chippychippybangbang · 31/01/2010 15:22

Wow, WWIFN, you've made me go goosebumpy. Am so very tempted to copy that and paste it in an email to OW... (but I won't - yet!)

Maggie, how are you today?

MaggieMuggins · 31/01/2010 16:57

I'm OK, thanks. H is back, looking very sorry for himself. We have been talking; he says he knows his own mind, never thought he could feel about anyone else the way he used to feel about me, and never wanted this to happen. I've told him that if he has made up his mind that he has to move out by next weekend (think that shocked him) and that I think he is deluding himself. I just can't make him see that his being unhappy with me and his feelings for her are in any way connected. He is really anti the whole counselling thing, too. He just doesn't want to face up to the fact that he is running away from the situation. But I can fully accept that if he hasn't felt anything physically towards me for 10 years (this all stems back to when his dad died) that it may be too late to mend this. That's a long time to let things fester.

Anyway, update on the OW - she is married, has a daughter who is in their school (!) and told her H that there was something going on last weekend - before I even confronted my H. He says that his decision now to choose her has nothing to do with the fact that I backed him into a corner. Obviously I am sceptical on this, but I do wonder whether just how long he would've strung us both along if I hadn't twigged.

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Doha · 31/01/2010 17:18

Well l do hope he tells the school of his descison tomorrow as it is totally inappropriate that they continue to work in the same class.
This happened to a colleague of mine (nurses) and the managers actwd swiftly and the OW was moved that day

You are doing well. Keep strong

abedelia · 31/01/2010 17:54

Sounds odd, but have you ever spoken to her husband? It might be worth doing. I found out a lot about the OW that way (he called me to see whether the story she was spinning him was true - it wasn't). Turned out it wasn't the first time she'd done this, plus I found out a lot of what she'd told H was rubbish (which with a bit of googling I could prove irrefutably). Sounds odd but where in the country are you - she sounds 'familiar' (same job, same marital status, same child situation). I'm sure it's coincidence but you never know...

AnyFucker · 31/01/2010 18:31

maggie...you must follow up on making him leave...make him face up to the consequences

I agree, he would have strung you both along for as long as he could

what is he doing about the job situation ?...what a fucking mess and very unprofessional...and her kid is in the same school ? Are they both mad ?

he is going to regret this sooooooo badly...but that really is not your problem

MaggieMuggins · 31/01/2010 18:43

I'd rather not say where I am, if you don't mind...to be honest, although I think it's completely inappropriate of them both I am not really bothered about his work situation, and I don't feel the need to interfere.

I also don't care that much about the state of her marriage, although maybe if I had any way of getting in touch with her husband that would be different! But my H works on the other side of the city and that's where she lives and I don't ever have any contact with them.

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IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 31/01/2010 19:37

You sound like you're being strong Maggie, which is great.

Keep your chin up!

You're doing exactly the right thing in asking him to leave. It's awful I know as I have been in a similar position, but I felt so much better when I took charge and made him feel the consequences of what he was doing.

MaggieMuggins · 31/01/2010 20:09

Well, we've had a proper sit down discussion. He has finally shed some tears as well, when we were talking about DD. He said he might need more time to sort out somewhere to stay but I said tough (I've given him until next weekend) and he is clear that even if he has to kip on someone's floor he is out of here by then.

I might sound like I am in control but the reality is that I am in bits, I can't fucking believe this is happening to me.

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AnyFucker · 31/01/2010 20:25

ohhh maggie

nothing like the dawning of reality to bring on his tears....

do not be made to feel sorry for him...he wanted this, didn't he? Tough titty now he is realising he will become the archetypal weekend dad

make sure you also make it clear that you won't exactly be nun-like once the dust settles

you will be dating, and happily shagging, other men

what a pillock he is

abedelia · 31/01/2010 20:35

Sorry for asking Maggie - totally understand. I was just putting 2 and 2 together and probably making 5 as mad cow's H rang the other week as he thought she was up to no good (yet) again and wanted to know if she'd been in touch with H. Anyway, looks like yours is finally having the truth dawn ie that there are consequences and one day he'll have to look dd in the eye and explain himself and his behaviour.

Has he also taken on board he'll be playing host frequently to her (probably very damaged and resentful) dd. Is her dd of an age where she can understand much?

I have so much sympathy as I have totally been there and done that. I lost a stone, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep... worst time of my life. Honestly, it was like someone had died. But it does get better in time. Crap old cliche but so true. At the moment you are still hoping it will all come right, especially when he wavers a bit by showing remorse. That's the killer. Once things are certain either way you will start to become stronger.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2010 20:40

I wouldn't call it remorse at this stage

I would call it dawning reality and feeling sorry for his fucking self

prettywhiteguitar · 31/01/2010 20:40

I have to say Maggie this is the hardest part. It does get less hurtful I promise.

I am a year down the line and I do have moments where things upset me but it is mothing like as bad as I imagined.

Just think ! you could meet someone else (lovely) and have a full relationship with them

I'm very proud you are being strong about him moving. It really does prolong things. I let my x leave his stuff in my flat for 6mths and in that time it made it easier to think he might change his mind...

I have a lovely boyfriend now and things are easier as x and I can talk nicely (he has developed some hindsight about what a total sh*t he was and now treats my feelings with some respect). It really does break your heart but you will heal and also have your lovely dd.

Good luck and am sending special strength your way x

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 31/01/2010 20:52

You poor thing - this is scary stuff isn't it?

Stay strong Maggie - PLEASE stay strong - you have so many trump cards up your sleeve. It is finally dawning on him what this will really mean. His pleas to stay put mean that you've got control again, which is good. Stick to the plan that he moves out next weekend.

I'd lay bets that he's been telling OW that he told you about the affair and said he was leaving, rather than the less romantic truth that you found out and this is why he's leaving. This is why it's important to box clever here.

I feel terribly sorry for that poor little girl who will be the talk of the playground when this gets out. Her little world is crashing down all about her and it's going to get even worse. For all you know, her DH is planning on telling the school anyway, but I do think Abedelia is right, it would be worth contacting him. If you know her full name, he should be relatively easy to trace and I'd bet your H has her home number in his phone anyway.

You can tell the H that you'd been wondering whether to inform the school, but thought it best to check with him first, as their daughter is there. He'll probably be only too relieved to speak to someone in the same boat actually. You can then let him know how you found out and learn the truth of his revelation too - it wouldn't surprise me in the least if both your H and OW are double-bluffing and she either hasn't told her H at all - or he found out too.

Remember that people having affairs tell eachother lies - as well as their spouses.

It won't seem like it at the moment Maggie, but really you've got him on the back foot now. He's facing the prospect of telling some friend why he wants to kip on the floor and having to tell the school he's living somewhere else. It's probably also occurring to him that OW's H might also inform the school, even if he thinks you won't. (You could say to your H, in fact "I assume her H is going to inform the school?" and see his face drop - that will be fun...!)

All this reality is good - it all starts to look less romantic and heady now.

Selfish, selfish people.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2010 20:58

oh yes, less of the star-crossed lovers...

and more of the hefty dose of reality

am I wrong to think it is no more than he deserves ?

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 31/01/2010 21:01

Good God no, AF. I'm sat here wanting to wring his bloody neck - and OW's - and I don't even know the fuckers.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2010 21:04

yeah, I am swinging my baseball bat right at his knackers as we speak....

picmaestress · 31/01/2010 21:11

Maggie, you sound great. You're handling it really well, good for you.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 31/01/2010 21:11

Hi Maggie

Stay strong, you're doing so well. (In bits yes but that's not stopping you doing all of the right things).

It's going to be an tough few days but once he has gone you WILL start feeling better, although I know it's all awful. I'd be inclined to leave the school stuff to unravel on its own this week rather than getting involved TBH. I think you've got enough on your plate. He's putting himself in a very difficult position jobwise and unless you think it will benefit you in any way to get involved with the school I would just hold your head high and focus on you and DD this week.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 31/01/2010 21:14

And forgot to ask, what is he saying, if anything, about what he thinks will happen at work and about his future with OW?