It isn't always so simple to just leave your DH.
DH and I have a decent marriage but I feel that we are mostly friends now. We have virtually no physical contact (hugs, kisses etc..) and sex (drunken) only once every few months. It's never good and I can't wait for it to be over with.
We are good friends though and great parents to our one DD who is 7yrs old.
I remember talking to DH's dad a few years ago and his dad expressing how disappointed he was with how his life had turned out - how his wife hadn't hugged him in over 20 years and that it was too late now for him to start over. It was so sad. I told DH about the conversation but he didn't want to hear it.
I feel we are headed down the same path and it makes me miserable to see this bleak future ahead of me. To add to this, DH is from Down Under and I really don't want to move there after our expat posting in the Middle East (I'm English). DH is insisting that that is where we 'belong'. Well, I don't feel like I bloody belong there and I don't want to go. My whole spirit dries up at the very thought of moving so far away.
Enter OW. A man I've known for 4 years and whom I've recently become intimate with. We are (I firmly believe) in love with each other. He is also married but with grown children. He has expressed his desire to have a future with me and I want the same.
I would leave DH. I would love to start a new life (even on my own). My problem is, DH has told me time and time again that he would kill himself if I ever left and took DD with me. DH is a doting dad and I know in my heart that it would destroy him to take DD away. I can't take DD away from him - I just couldn't that to him. However, I don't want to sacrifice my life by moving Down Under with him either. We've lived in the ME since we got married 15 years ago and we're only still here because we're in this limbo of where to live. Of course, I knew all that before we got married but I never thought I'd end up in a (physically) loveless marriage. Apart from the fact that I simply don't fancy him at all anymore (and to be honest, I'd be happy if we never had sex again), we're reasonably happy on a day-to-day basis.
Funny thing is, with OW, I would happily live in a shack in the middle of nowhere if I had to. I love being with him and he's all I really want but I just can't see a way out of this mess. I simply can't drag DD and DH into this and I don't know what to do.
All I know is that when DH talks about our move "back home" next December, I literally feel bleak and black and like there is no future for me. He knows how I feel about living where he's from but he just ignores the fact like it will go away. I would run away with OW tomorrow if it weren't for the fact that it would physically separate DH and DD - and I just can't do that. But at what expense to myself?