TBH thats all i wanted to do was to make love to him, think it must be bec we need to know that they stil fancy us i guess. If your feelings are that strong then maybe there is hope there that you can get through this. Don't know what i would do if i were still living next door to the other woman, i saw her in town on Sat and wanted to kill her so i cant imagine having to see her every day, especially in my case where i know she hasn't told her husband, think temptation would be there to tell him myself.
If you do decide to make a go of it is there any way you could sell up and move, not that you should have too but if its for the sake of your sanity it may be worth thinking about.
But for now you need look after yourself. Pleae eat, you might not feel better for it but you need every bit of strength you can muster right now.
Any chance of going to stay with some family, just to get away from her for a few days and begin to put things into perspective. What about getting family to look after the kids and you and hubby go away, you can then scream at him, cry at him, ask him questions without the distraction of kids and house work and her.
All the best hon big hugs and keep talking.