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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

partner is totally preoccupied with sex..what was hot,now is NOT

282 replies

Littleblue · 15/12/2009 06:53

Im in a distance relationship,we have been together over a year.What was a very intense sexlife has reduced in intensity,as it is wont to do in any relationship once over the honeymoon period.
I have major financial worries and my libido has dropped,but his obsession and constant referrals to sex(he doesnt feel loved if im "cold")Im going off him rapidly but we were very close and loving.He asked me the other night if "this was what happened to my other relationships"..!st of these he is referring to,my partner of 10 years dropped me for my best friend,2nd,he turned out to be severely abusive...My new partner had obviously had a train of thought involving my perceived "habit of going off sex" as the cause of my previously violent situation.

OP posts:
SolidGoldpiginablanket · 15/12/2009 19:03

There is nothing more unerotic than someone who is absolutely desperate for sex. Just as there is nothing more offputting when you are dating than someone who is absolutely desperate for commitment and love. This bloke's inability to stay off the subject for more than five minutes explains why he's single at 52 IMO. Buy him a FLeshlight or a MOnkey SPanker as a farewell present.

Original poster
Littleblue · 15/12/2009 20:30

lol!!! i dont know what they are,but i can guess!!lmfao,i sooo needed a chuckle!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblue · 15/12/2009 20:32

i want a monkey spanker for crimbo,dont care what it is,lurve the vision,pmsl...

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblue · 15/12/2009 21:06

i hate hurting people,but i do seem to attract obsessives...

OP posts:
BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 15/12/2009 21:13

What a bleedin cheek to suggest not wanting to shag all day led to the breakdown of your relationships! I'd say it was more likely that pestering women led to the breakdown of his. He sounds like an immature pain in the arse. Whatever the distance is in this LD relationship, I would make it permanent.

Original poster
Littleblue · 15/12/2009 21:50

this is why i love mumsnet..a simultaneous OUCH of truth with a large OOOH of reality..a sharp kick up the arse thus dislodging rose tinted specs...i thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblue · 15/12/2009 23:26

i fell asleep tonight,lo and behold,hes gone all mysterious and disappeared on facebook

OP posts:
jasper · 15/12/2009 23:36

have you chucked him yet?

mrsboogiefairylights · 16/12/2009 00:17

sounds like one of these types who always wants to be in the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship and when boring old reality begins to creep in they lose interest.

If he has buggered off out of your life be thankful! Once you get the image of him as a sex pest in your head you will be turned off forever.

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/12/2009 07:13

hes still about,hes very down,he does love me,its just how intensely and how he feels he hs to express it i have the trouble with...

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblue · 16/12/2009 10:25

but the sex pest thing is stuck..stupid man

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummyKissingSanta · 16/12/2009 10:47

Perhaps if you were together all the time it would not have lasted this long?

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 16/12/2009 15:58

Nah, if they were together all the time she'd have got fed up with his dog-humping-the-sofa antics a lot quicker.

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/12/2009 16:41

lmao!! "Jack Russelling"..im of a mind to agree,i would have got out ages a go at a guess ...despite say ing all the right things on the phone i get a text pointing out that theres snow coming and to 'expect 8 inches'

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 16/12/2009 16:58

The proper answer to that is "oh no, five and a half at most, I'm sure".

abedelia · 16/12/2009 18:28

..or 'it won't last, it never does'.

dittany · 16/12/2009 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/12/2009 19:36

I wont comment re dimensions (pmsl)..but i have said they wont be able to get the lid down on the coffin when he shuffles off...

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblue · 16/12/2009 19:38

He cant seem to stop it,he says he loves me as a friend as well as a lover etc..but i 'turn him on so much'etc...were due a blizzard friday,when hes next due to visit...

OP posts:
dittany · 16/12/2009 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonsoir · 16/12/2009 19:50

He sounds fantastically demanding - how on earth can you put up with it?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2009 19:54

is that a blizzerd of jizz you are expecting on Friday ?

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 16/12/2009 19:55

What has the bank taking your card off you got to do with anything?

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/12/2009 20:05

Ok,fair point,id registered the actions speak louder than words thing..i think im throwing this onto mn for clarity,by the bucket it seems lol,good..he is demanding yes,but compared to what i lived with its nothing,which isnt a sound logic i know..
The bank thing is due to when my finances first started folding a few months ago was when i first started to go off the sex aspect,stress is a libido killer is it not,then having gone through dramas of him no longer feeling wanted,the bank then took my credit card limit away just before christmas..hence his dismay

OP posts:
AnAuntieNotAMum · 16/12/2009 20:05

Regularly 5 times a night at the age of 52? The man needs bromide in his tea!