partner is totally preoccupied with sex..what was hot,now is NOT

[Littleblue]

Im in a distance relationship,we have been together over a year.What was a very intense sexlife has reduced in intensity,as it is wont to do in any relationship once over the honeymoon period.
I have major financial worries and my libido has dropped,but his obsession and constant referrals to sex(he doesnt feel loved if im "cold")Im going off him rapidly but we were very close and loving.He asked me the other night if "this was what happened to my other relationships"..!st of these he is referring to,my partner of 10 years dropped me for my best friend,2nd,he turned out to be severely abusive...My new partner had obviously had a train of thought involving my perceived "habit of going off sex" as the cause of my previously violent situation.

i think the stalking thing really showed it up..the other stuff was sickening,but that alpha dog leg cocking stuff is a no brainer for me and he knows it

i dont get why men do that..i seem to get it alot,yet im big on trust etc..

he got me duly softened up..tyedyes posts are gone,my guise back then,im celibate now,and any toys i have are mine,chosen by me,for me...and rightly private

some men do this because they are abusers.

not all.

any guy who pestered me for sex 5x in one night would have gotten the boot right then and there.

he says its because he loves me..yeah i know,i can hear myself,il have that bucket when your done...

morning lb

still resolute ?

Yes,its the timing though,i dont want to wreck christmas..im close to his family too you see,it can wait til after,hes 130 miles away

You do it when YOU want to, honey. It's your life, your choice. It's a little sad that you feel you can't reclaim your life because other people's feelings are still coming first, but it just goes to show you are still a decent person, whatever these various users and fuckwits have been doing to your brain. It is just so frustrating to see nice people being treated as doormats, which is why the ladies on here, who are all totally on YOUR side, are shouting at you - they have no agenda other than to see you happy, and are afraid you will be sucked back in to a bad relationship because of your own kindness. He isn't really going to be that upset, you know, certainly not in the long term. It's all about him, and any comments like "what we had between us" should be interpreted in that light.

Christmas has a lot to answer for, if you look at the number of women who've been hanging on in really grim situations for months because "I don't want to do anything to spoil..."

One day you'll look back on the interlude and find it very funny, trust me.

I know what the message is here,i dont mind being shouted at in this context at all lol..
As for decency,i try to treat folk like i expect to be treated myself,and throughout life,when ive been shafted ive refused to let it change who i am,make me bitter..as thats when they win.

Quite right too.

ninja hug

annie, what a lovely post

it's a nice contrast from the vicious harridans like me who shout "bin the fucker....now" lol

lb, seriously, you sound very lovely but more than a little vulnerable to arsewipe's emotional blackmail, so please think about what you really want and do not be swayed by his bullshit and the fact that you happen to get on with his family

his family are not the the ones who are practising some kind of twisted sexual bullying and headfuckery on you...

ps. all the best for xmas x

AF, you're OUR vicious harridan and you only say it when it wants saying.

aww thanks annie (I think.... )

I repeated your own words ironically, I hope you realise - I suspect you of secretly having a kind heart. But Mumsnet is supposed to be Harridan Central innit, if you read a certain evil rag that shall remain nameless.

of course I realise, love, and yes my heart is very kind

sometimes I should stay off the relationship threads though, not everyone needs harsh words, I have come a cropper on more than one occasion

I was right though, every time

have a look on one of your other threads, I said a nice thing about you

ah, you have seen it

x posts

I feel a seasonal Christmas message,somewhat unlike our dear Queens.."Dear arsewipe,the harridans of Mumsnet have decreed you are a Cocklodger and should be binned forthwith,Merry Fucking Christmas and a Monkey Spanking New Year..Bye!

Yes, and you gave me a sausage. I am grateful (I am a terrible piggy - which I suppose makes me a cannibal, unless it wasn't a pork sausage).

Sorry for hijack LB. The meeting of the Annie/Anyfucker Mutual Admiration Society will now adjourn - until further notice at least.

pmsl..im bored of sausages :P

littleblue

God,not only has he got myspace to watch me,hes telling me about reading back through old emails trying to pinpoint'where it all went wrong'.he asked me last night,all 'careful like,"how are you in yourself?"..like im going to get a rifle and go find a grassy knoll near the M11 somewheres!! talk about obsessive..im amazed at him!! all that went wrong in the first instance was my libido and texts dipped,and i was very honest about my stresses,then i got to see what hes like when hes not feeling loved/wanted (his words)Ive a mate locally who runs a shop i help out in,he bought me gift vouchers and left them there for me as a surprise,which is slightly redundant as i get everything cost,she thinks hes done that as he knows she and i talk about stuff..

I didn't understand a word of that last message

lol,fuck it,bottoms up!!