ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Ah thanks Maybees, knew you'd come up with the right answer bless you. Feel tranquility coursing through my veins again .

Well Starting, interesting question. Basically if he really realised what a twunt he has been, in the end I probably would take him back. BUT it would take a long long time for me to allow him back in the home as he has destroyed my trust and done things that have had a major effect on the DC's IMO. It would never happen though as he's not interested and my terms would be so stringent that he wouldn't meet them. AND he has always had an issue with saying sorry for ANYTHING so realistically nothing could ever happen. Odd how he thinks he's in the right .

Yep , did see Beauty on another thread - she's out there but not in here

Ifyourhappy, it's a general twunt characteristic, they all think they're in the right despite v strong evidence to the contrary . I'd have taken mine back also but that time has well passed for me tg. Chin up, tits out......

Am I the only one who engages in the completely pointless & self destructive habit of cheching up on ex's?? I go along great for months & then all of a sudden have an overwhelming, can't be stopped urge to check up email or phone etc.... what's that all about??

I cannot lie I have done a bit but seriously fucked my brain unless I phone up all the numbers how do I know who is who and he could have PAYG Doesnt know how to switch on computer or do email OR does he? maybe he has secret laptop and is total computer geek. Detatchment and serenity the way to go x

Waves to BEAUTIFUL x

Hello all,

startingover: glad to hear about your toes! And no, don't do it! You know that hearing about what your X is doing will just wind you up (says the woman who still has her H on facebook and twitter but at least I removed my access to his email accounts!)

maybees : you do sound pretty positive at the moment - nice to see!

I have woken up at 4 am feeling sick again but I'm not feeling upset about H - rather my head is racing with all sorts of practicalities about living alone (not even thinking about the baby at the moment). I need to sit down now and make a list of stuff I want to do before the baby comes to feel more prepared, and I'm working on a bit of a housework plan too - small jobs that I can try to do at a regular time.

Lots of stuff to do like checking the fire alarm, learning how to read the gas meter etc and do the uswitch thing, wanting to go to child first aid so I can feel more secure alone with DS. That's on top of sorting the tax credits etc tomorrow. Can anyone think of anything else that I ought to do? Good, positive, empowering things?!

Hi Chairmum, hope you managed to get back to sleep & that your day went ok. I wouldn't panic, you'll learn to do things as you go along. It's a good idea of course to keep on top of the housework but I wouldn't put yourself under too much pressure for now.

The most important thing you need to do is take care of yourself, eat well & rest, then everything else will be ok.

Waves to all other dumplings, hope everyone had good days.

I had a very good day today & feel back in form more or less. Had a college thing this am, met a friend after, took dc's to park & then called to another mum. Cooked a nice dinner, dc's are all in bed & lunches & clothes are sorted for tomorrow. Bliss .

Also went to church to do a few candles & shed a few tears for those I lost this year. Have decided to try to visit church as often as possible for next while to just take a bit of time to grieve, let go & get positivity back.

Sounds like quite a long list already Chairmum - good stuff but don't fret if you don't get it all done x

StartingOver, I sometimes do a bit of checking up too . Not too much though because I'm genuinely not too interested really. Just find myself wandering into Facebook occasionally for example (should just cut him off really but for some reason I haven't!)

Hi Ifyourhappy, glad to hear I'm not the only one . Know it's completely self-destructive but sometimes it comes out of the blue & I've done it before I've thought about what I'm doing! Thankfully it rarely happens now though.

Hope all's well.

I know its a long list, but these are things I want to get done before the baby comes. Right now I'm just focusing on getting all the information together for my benefits applications, which I aim to have all done by monday.

DS is off with H for 24 hours tomorrow, which is both daunting and something I'm looking forward to. I'm hoping that the time to myself will help me to be more fun with DS when I have him back.

Doing well on the day-to-day housework stuff so far though, and feeling good about it And now I'm having my rest. I'm eating pretty well too!

starting - glad you've had a good day. Its great when you feel like you don't have things waiting around to be done

Hi Chairmum, the 24hrs will be great for you to get a few things done, get some rest & do something nice for yourself .

With 3 dc's there's always stuf waiting around to be done, but the esentials are done .

Hiya!

Love the stripes MB.Also the Braveheart treatment though I think I would prefer CIA treatment for her BUt Imnot very angry any more actually.

Yes Chairmum itsgood to think ahead and you sound organised.I found the time apart from kids TBH very hard at first but it gets better and you get things done! And have a rest!
I still see H -bit I dont have urge to hack into stuff - couldnt even if I wanted to.

Continuing to be very busy which is good! It really helps

Waving to all other dumplings even those who have abandoned us for now!

Dear all,

hello, I'm back again! This sporadic access to PC is so frustrating. Anyway, I just wanted to say - I've done a lot of complaining lately and not much reaching out to you ladies. So I just wanted to say - Miaow, I read your posts and I think about you. It will be a good thing to have practical stuff to think about, and it does take the mind off things. Keep up! As for your 24 hrs to yourself - hurrah! Enjoy! Hot soak in the bath, red toe nails, It will be very nice to have some time to yourself.
maybees and startin' - no! you're definitely not the only ones to be following up on the X. I know he said he hasn't found someone else but with the rapid exit I just find that so hard to understand. So yes - I will probably do a teeny bit of cyberstalking
OK, I am off. More boxes to pack...

Hi Mumfun, I became an expert hacker , if the counselling career fails I think I'll set myself up as a PI. . Glad to hear all's well.

Hi lis, great to hear back from you. Good luck with the packing. Come back to me if you need tips for the cyberstalking . Only joking! You'll be too busy regaining your faboulosity to have time to cyber stalk .

When you said about Chairmum painting her toe nails red, it brought back an instant flashback to trying to paint toe nails when I was heavily pg, no easy task!

Just spent half the evening looking for white leotard for dd that we had managed to lose since monday .Show nite 2morrow and Sat so all hair gel and glitter for me this weekend.They dont warn you about this at ante natal do they?
Glad everyone doing well ,going to try and treat myself to some lavender pampering on Sunday if kids are away for the afternoon ,Big hugs x

ps Startin' Quiet chapel sounds lovely place to gather your thoughts x

Hi Ifyourhappy, chill, we'll start a new one . We're still recovering!! Hope all else is well with you.

Hi Maybees, that sounds great, I love the buz. DD came home today from playschool with a pink teapot cut out with this verse : "here's a gift for mother's day, I'll try my best in every way, but if you get upset with me, relax and have a pot of tea! . DS has been working on something all wk also & each day is gutted cause he can't bring it home till tomorrow. . Makes it all worthwhile!

Anyway, my report for the evening. I've just had a lovely lavender bath, did a deep condition on hair, face mask & am now sipping a cup of camomile tea! Anyone feeling stressed out try the above, I feel chilled & relaxed!

Waves to all........

Afternoon Dumplings, how are you all doing??

Maybees, hope you have a lovely evening at show .

ARRRGGGHH

Got DS all ready to go out. 5 o clock he's waiting by the front door for his daddy and knocks the stop tap somehow, breaking the damned thing. Lounge flooded, H 15 minutes late to pick DS up and the water had to be turned off in the street so I have no water tonight.

My friend came round and followed after H to make him get me a carpet cleaner for tonight so I get to spend my evening sucking up water. (she had been drinking so couldn't drive and I had sent H off wanting to get DS out of the wet house).

Am so bloody frustrated that this happens now, when I was ready for a nice peaceful evening on my own As if we have the money to deal with this too!

Oh Chairmum, I'm sorry to hear you've this to deal with too . Typical case of Murphy's law! I had that too when exh moved out. Hope you have plenty of help to hand & that you manage to get it sorted out soon.

thanks starting. My mood is seriously deflated by this, and by the fact that I screamed at H on the phone when he was late and didn't think to call a plumber myself (although to be fair I didn't know it was the stop tap that was broken and thought that I just needed to find the damned thing)

Lets hope the bloody plumber actually comes tomorrow, otherwise DS won't be coming home to me

At least I am getting the water out of the carpet, although I don't think I should be lugging around huge tanks of water to empty the thing - but I'm alone so I've got to do it. This is the reality of life, but I'm very glad that I didn't have to deal with the whole thing alone -and I would never have asked H to go and get the cleaner myself.

So sorry Chairmum -doubt you should be lugging big tanks of water. NO wonder your mood is deflated. Aaarggghhh for you! Hope your weekend gets better.

Having boring weekend -going to list lots of stuff for sale, go to pub with friend and do lots of tidying!

Hope it starts to get warmer soon -I could do with a bit of spring soon!

Hope all have good weekends as poss!

Yippee, last post of Recovery thread No 3!!!!! We should be nearly recovered by next one .

Chairmum, hang in there, it's things like that that tend to drive you over the edge . Try to relax & don't try to do too much alone. Can you not call in someone from your family or H's family or a friend to give you a hand??

Hi Mumfun, could certainly do with a bit of warm weather, am visualising sunshine. You've just reminded me I must remember to go up to attic & see what I've there to sell!It's full of stuff!

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