ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Hi all

Beautiful, know what you mean on the bloke obsessed front. I am now hooked too, pathetically going into dating site every few mins checking for message from bloke who actually doesn't look that great anyway! Am I bonkers?

Despite issues with DCs , I too have much to be grateful for with successful career with lovely people (pathetic how even writing that makes me think of where I could get action at work ) and should be content with that and girlfriends etc rather than eyeing up weirdos on dating sites and playing around with photos to try and make myself look sexier than I am

(But do go for it StartingOver)

Dumplings, I've sorted babysitter, restaurant is booked!! I'm going on my first date with anyone other than ex in 12yrs, I can't believe it. I could be having sex soon!! OMG, I need to polish toe nails, remove body hair, so many preparations to be done!!

Hi Mavis, good to see you back. Jinx, I've been working through the bombay mix aswell (moved on from trifles).

Hi Dutchy, I'm out of the dating game so long this is exciting/nerve racking all at the same time.

Hi Mumfun, I've spent years trawling through self help books, saved my sanity many a time. Some of them can be very good for getting answers about what happened/where things went wrong etc.. Don't think I'll be having sex tomorrow night as I didn't manage to off load dc's so I'll have a babysitter here & don't want to be too late. Even if dc's were gone I wouldn't feel comfortable to do anything in my house anyway, it would have to be his place.

OMG, can't believe me who took my vows so seriously, am actually going on a date!! It feels a bit surreal.

Oh Beauty, I'm so glad to see you back. It took me so long to do last post (phone kept ringing etc), I missed all your posts. You go girl & focus on that book. If you take all your energies & focus them elsewhere, you'll be guaranteed to get a man. It's when we're desperate & needy, we end up attracting all the weirdos.

Deffinately do the counselling. I went through hell all last year but I knew I wasn't emotionally well enough to even think of another man. I had to grieve fully for the marriage I lost & am only now starting to feel like I'm coming out the other side.

The online dating sites woke me up to the fact that separated women are seen as easy prey. I hadn't even posted a pic & I was bombarded with messages. I could have been ten ton tessy & they would have been happy to get a shag. Hense the PPT predator types found in these places.

Waves at Fluffy, hope things are going ok for you.

Ifyourhappy, you'll soon get fed up when you start getting texts of erections etc.. There are probably some normal men on there too but I thought they all seemed to either be perverts, men still living at home with mammy, married & looking for a shag or worst of all twunts the same as those we've divorced or are on or way to divorcing. All this was judged just by photos & profiles . I'm not a bit judgemental .

My shyboy, overcame his shyness & rang me earlier as he said he couldn't be doing all this texting business . Hope he'll be as proactive in ridding me of my knickers & new found virginity in the near future . Loobie sat the trend, slapper is the way to go!!

ten tonne

Wow Startingover at the sheer brazenness of it all. Am imagining you all prepped and raring to go. Think you're right on the dating sites. And good for you for getting through it and out the other side. I too had my year of madness and grieving and all so much better now.

Beautiful, I guess you can make our thread into a book and make millions. As film rights are purchased (bit like Calendar Girls except without the calendar) we will all become immensely famous and travel the world whilst XHs look on open mouthed in awe and think of what might have been.

Oh no, and all us lurkers who get so much from just following the thread will be bitter and twisted that we haven't got a part!

Sorry, had to but in, will go back to lurking.

Hi Beauty, I'm so impressed by what you've achieved to date (5 books!!). Hang in there & you will come through this with your fabulous-ness restored. I love reading & I am just laughing about the though of picking up a book someday about PPT's & CLGS's etc.. If you get stuck for ideas, I could give you half a book just on my own sorry saga, has all the ingredients money, power, politicians, sex scandals, drug scandals, brothels, pimps....

Ifyourhappy, I'm thinking desperate housewifes style film rights!!

Feeingpositive, so glad you popped in, who knows you might even be tempted to join us!!

Morning all.

We'll by 10 am I'd eaten 2 mince pies so I suspect my healthy eating regime will just have to start on Monday .

Beauty - good to see you, I think a meet-up is a great idea although it's the small matter of being the wrong end of the country that's a teensie issue for me.

Startingover - have a wonderful evening tonight, will be thinking of you as I finish off the bombay mix. I think I'd be terrified about going on a date - it's been 12 years for me too. It would just be weird (I'm not helping am I? )

Feelingpositive - oi! Come back here!

Right.

We seem to have established that dating sites are rubbish and that we need other distractions. We need A Goal for December. (Hope I'm not stepping on your toes glorious leader Beauty) It's only the 4th so we're OK.

Mine is to get suitably prepared for my interview mid-Jan (my, how festive). If I get a place my big goal of buying a house for me and dcs will be one step closer.

So, whaddya think? What will you have achieved by Jan 2010?

Morning Mavis, glad to hear you're well. Enjoy your mince pies girl, it's the least you deserve. Got a good laugh re no shaggable men in your cupboards!! Not yet, but soon you'll be like Loobie & have one fixing your cupboards along with everything else.

You'll have the power of the dumpettes behind you for your interview, you can't fail. If that one passes you by there will be something even better come along for you. Well done on being so focused on bettering things for yourself & dc's.

What will I have achieved by 2010.... less noble I'm afraid, to have lost my virginity again hopefully .

Fear not Startingover.. I suspect this thread has no room for nobility! Enjoy yourself

Hi feelingpositivemum! get back here and spill your guts!!

Mavis, oooh, loving the December goal idea. Really, loving that a lot. I'm going to have Dec 31st as my end date, as I don't think i'm doing anything and will need something upbeat to carry me on into 2010.

OK, I will have a novel all plotted out by then, a funny, lighthearted one that I cannot wait to write. I like this idea, as having a book to get back to will make these lonely evenings seem like a bonus, not depressing.

Startingover, I'm lol. Is your goal really to have sex?! Hee hee! well, it's a positive step - and will mark the end of your ex's reign of supremacy down your ladytunnel, so good for you!

Mavis, I'm thinking I could clear out the upstairs room, put loads of blow-up mattresses down (and some blow-up men for startingover ) and have you all over here. Is that hideously impractical?

starting, I loved this: "If you take all your energies & focus them elsewhere, you'll be guaranteed to get a man." That is just how my mind works too!

Except I am going to try to do this properly, i.e., with no thoughts of man-getting whatsoever. I think that's the best way to guarantee I get one to ensure I achieve my career goals.

Oh yes and can I come?

The book could alternatively be "The Little Book Of Dumpettes", including, of course, a guide to commonly used dumpette language (ladytunnel - I love that one!, making me smile ).

I'm a better lurker to be honest.

You are all much more witty and articulate than I could be so I just enjoy reading.

Also, although I can relate to a lot of what you are saying, esp 'sex before Christmas!' (def won't achieve) I actually left rather than was dumped. Got out of quite an EA relationship after 15 yrs and 4 dc's. I am so happy to be out and we are still finding our feet, but don't have the same feelings as a lot of you who were 'dumped' and are coming to terms with that.

However, reallly enjoy your thread and get a lot from it, I like to share a glass of wine with you all in the evening!

Sorry, don't mean that to sound wierd! And would def buy book, beauty.

I am at work so just a quickie startingover woo hoo yaaaay and yipeee. About blooming time. Have a fantastic time throw knickers to the wind and have fun

Beautiful 5 books? that is wonderful we all knew you were witty and clever but we did not realise you got paid for it you clever clever girl

Waves to Mavis and Happy and feelingpositive welcome aboard.

Hello everyone, I'm slightly worried by the December goal, I've spent all day trying to think of one and all that happens is my subconscious shouts ' SHAG ' in my head - I'm beginning to suspect that I'm a touch shallow.

Starting, I love the idea of a pro-active knicker remover, it may be one of those phrases like cunny loving gate shaver and phanton penis texter that stay with me for a long time. I hope the dc are giving you a bit of time and space to get ready for your date ( oooooh, exciting ).

Are you still off men Beauty ? I find that I have lots of good intentions about not obsessively thinking about Bollocky and then it just sneaks up on me, despite me knowing it is utterly pathetic to be mooning around like a lobotomised Victorian spinster at my advanced age.
I agree with everyone else about the novel - spare a thought for us when old Mucky Melvin Bragg is singing your praises on The South Bank Show.

Mavis, I like the idea of the mince pies much more than Bombay Mix, although when desperate I've been known to mainline Cadbury's Drinking Chocolate straight from the tin - I think you'll agree that it's not possible to be much more sophisticated than that.

Dutchy, god knows what dating rules there are but I think old Firm Arse is sounding pretty good - shy and with a lovely body ? Get in there.

Loobie , so you've moved on to grown up conversation and chilli, eh ? Now all you need is for him to cook you a fantastic meal and he may be the perfect man ( I know there's no such thing but he's doing pretty well, isn't he ? ). By the way, if I ever do throw my ' knickers to the wind ' , I will accompany the gesture with a wild cry of 'Loobie made me do it !' as they drag me off to the secure mental health facility.

Hello Feelingpositive, I definitely understand about having a glass or two of wine with us - in a weird way although none of us know each other, it feels like a group of friends - I know that I've taken a lot of comfort from this thread - everyone has made me laugh so much - it's taken the edge off my misery.

Hello Fluffy, how are things with you ?

And a big hello to Ifyou'rehappy and Mumfun, I hope you both have a good weekend ahead of you.

I'm afraid that I have a confession to make Dumplings, I was going to avoid telling you but ultimately I find that I am in need of absolution. Forgive me dumplings for I have sinned, I have exchanged several texts with Bollock Face over the last few days ( he started it ), some of which can only be described as having a flirty tone. I have also been gulity of Reading Too Much into this despite Knowing Better.

For god's sake, give a slap.

Slap given. Have also had estranged H to stay and not behaved perfectly but no action - not up for that. Anyway back later. Busy weekend - but with estranged H. Not great really but will be ok.

. I would like to ask you all for your forgiveness for my absence and would ask if I can rejoin you lovely ladies even though I am not as scintillatingly witty as the rest of you!!

Have been following but not posting.

Starting I'm very excited about your date with painterman tonight - I wish you well for your goal of pre-Xmas shag.

Hi Caramela - don't feel bad - you are only human looking for a crumb of human kindness and love.

Thanks for the slap, Mumfun. Weekend with estranged h ? Niiiiiice, hope it's not too bad.

Have you got a note explaining your absence, Lamby ? I do hope you've been upholding the tenets of Dumplingness while you've been away . How's the house coming along ?

Hello everyone, happy for all those flirting and dating - let's hope the weekend works out well for all.

Unfortunately feeling extremely sorry for myself though as XH tried silly bully beef tactics on me this morning . Have decided to totally ignore him (easier said than done as no doubt bullying will continue until he feels he has got his way) and will also stick pins in strange doll thing as may work wonders.

Will take good reading material and candles to the bath now to transform myself into a serene, glowing dumpling and rejoin you later.

< Waves at all dumplings >

Sorry to hear about the problems with xh Ifyou'rehappy, I can't bear bullies although mabe in common with all idiots like that he'll give up once he realises it's not effective. Enjoy your bath.

Caramela I have been busy working on the dumpling tenets of self-discovery, self-love and strong, feisty single-motherness. Sounds good but don't be fooled.

House is going through and may be in before Xmas.

I'm afraid I have joined the ranks of internet dating - I blame you lot for this!! Been on PoF and it sucks. I am speaking to one guy regularly who is really sweet. However, I have had the weirdest messages, including "hi hon, do you like horny marines" and "shame you're not spiritual - it could have been good" WTF?? I did fulfil my feisty woman role with this one as I messaged back and said " who told you i wasn't spiritual - you don't know me". Oooh, he didn't like it (just cos I put down I was a non-religious person - how very shallow of him!)

Lamby, I knew it was time to get off PoF when I got a message from a podgy cockney wideboy saying 'I can think of better ways to mess up your hair ', and I was (briefly) flattered. The shame of it.

You sound so much happier than you did in the beginning, I'm really pleased for you - I hope the new house is only the start of loads more lovely things in your life in the new year.