ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Afternoon Dumplings. Sorry about temporary los of fabulosity last night. Am . Thanks for saying youve all been there - that does help!

Re: The Mother tattoo. Does she look very, very young in the tattoo? Maybe she made him have it done when he was six. You know, they were all going to the beach, she couldn't keep her single-mum eyes on six kids so she took them all down the tattoo parlour and got her face put on all their arms, so if they got lost, helpful passers-by could reunite them with her? Like the 1960s equivalent of us scrawling our mobile numbers on their wrists?

Maybe? A vague chance?

Otherwise, RUN! He'll be covered in pictures of you before you know it. Christmas, Valentine's Day, New Years... In three months' time, his back will look like the mentalists' bedroom wall from Alan Partride, only with you on there.

Startingover so glad no Gypsy blood in him I was having horrid daydreams about you in your fab DKNY coat living in t'caravan and polishing brasses with your french connection dress cut up into suitable size squares so phew to that not being the case! It sounds positive though and the fact that you are agreeing to meet midweek is good .. woo hoo potential sh*g before Xmas or even better a banned C word masterclass member at your beck and call

Caramela you are wasted you should be a stand up comedian in your burlesque undies and fishnets kind of Victoria Wood/playgirl combo ..... wanking arm with mummy staring down especially now starting has concluded that it is indeed his wanking arm

Hi Mavis & mmmwine and all the other dumplings

Beautiful welcome back glad you are feeling a hit more positive today you have made me giggle with your six kids on the beach with a tattoo of mum on their arms lol

Caramela, your fancy-dress outfit sounds hot! Actually, no it doesn't really (Mum-side of self kicks in), do you have a nice warm puffa jacket to slip on for the way there?

any more text-exchanges betwixt you and BollockFace? I completely understand and won't judge. Womaniser has sent me 3 now that I'm not replying to, but I keep re-reading them compulsively, scrutinisng for missed declarations of love.

Also, my X is looking better han ever. Cant shake the lovely warm, fuzzy feeling I get when we're all together. He came over yesterday to check on the (ill) DC and I made him a coffee. It was so nice to be all in the same room. I'd "accidentally" got dressed-up in a lovely wrap top, full make-up and my new jeans with a tummy-control panel, and sort of stumbled blindly into wearing my new patent boots, and somehow dried my hair with a diffuser for 25 minutes and put earrings in, and he still remained glacially unmoved.

I comfort myself with the thought that he went home and wanked himself senseless for 4 hours clutching our wedding photos.

PS yes out with CLGS this evening and staying over at his place lucky for me his a dedicated season ticket holding footy match atteder on saturdays so I can MN as much a I like knowing that I have hours and hours to get ready

Have a lovely, lovely time with CLGS, loobs!!

Oooh, speaking of which: wouldn't big ears be v useful on a man, to "steer" him, so to speak?

Beautiful yes I do that too whenever golden b*llocks is here I find myself making an effort and pondering on how I can snare him away from his new bint and then he is gone again and I think what I was I thinking? .... clarly I wasn't because I so don't want him the heratbreaking scum bag

Beauty PMSL yes they would be that is so funny

Oh Beauty, PMSL at using ears to steer... Also at the 6 dc's tattooed with mammy!

Dumplings, this has been a huge learning curve for me on the road to recovery. The moral of this story is 'do not get involved with friends.' If this was a stranger, I'd have ran straight from restaurant last night & shared this experience with my fellow dumplings. As it is, I'm doomed now, I allowed my need for a shag cloud my judgement!! We get on great, could chat away happily for hours but being honest, we're completely mis-matched... he's quiet, shy, reserved.......... I'm slightly prone to mild insanity, wild strange behaviours that seem funny at the time, more of the throw me on the bonnet & rip my clothes off mindset..........

The thing is now will I just continue on for the ride or should I cut my losses quick?? Oh God, why did I not just go back to puppy??

Dumplings have patience with me, my brain is struggling to function from being overwhelmed by tiredness, big steering ears (will never be able to move beyond this now that steering has been added to mix), mammy tattoos..... Anyway, the not should have been in bold & not stuck out!!

Starting... hmm, I dunno. Probably leave it, I'd say. If it's not there, its not there, is it?

But if you do decide to carry on seeing him, permission to call him MumboDumbo, in honour of his ears and his tattoo?

Ah Beauty, you're ruining any chance I had of overcoming these issues........... just when I had got over the whole ear issue, you had to come along & introduce the concept of steering ears!!!!!!! And now I've MumboDumbo to contend with.........wait till Caramela gets a hold of that......my days & nights with the painter are doomed!!!

Slaps to Beauty & Caramela for dressing to impress & sending flirty texts to twunts that broke your hearts......... Loobie, I'm only leaving you off the hook because of CLGS!

aaaaaw Starting thanku for letting me off the hook, maybe you should use the shy painter as a learning curve cut your losses and get yourself back on the dating sites even though we all hate them with a vengeance

Mumbodumbo this thread just gets better and better I can't stop giggling picturing some desperate dan type character with a gorgeous face and huge steering ears , Beauty you are so funny but we must allow starting some dignity the poor girl is bereft and sufffering with angst over aforementioned mumbodumbo.Perhaps the situation can be salvaged with a huge strip of elastoplast stuck over mammy's face?!

Loobie, thank you for jumping to my defence. I'm endeavouring to get shagged here & my fellow dumplings are not helping me attain my goal by planting ideas such as mumbodumbo in my head. Dear god, how is a girl meant to overcome this??

Loobie, I will happily stay manless & sexless for the rest of my days rather than expose myself to online dating again. In fact if I was to balance the whole situation against the PPT, I think mammy is beginning to look attractive.....

LOL I think the only thing you can do starting is drink alcohol until your mind is a complete fugg, don't forget to eat something though or you will feel dreadful tomo am when DC's are bounding all over your bed and your poor alcohol soaked brain.

Dating sites yep dreadful dreadful things awash with knob heads and perverted filthmongers .... get in there girlie

Right operation glam loobie up must commence although frankly why I am bothering with creating clean straight shiny hair when it is chucking it down outside and my hair will just frizz up almost instantly making me look like a long haired Susan Boyle is beyond me

Loobie, you're probably on route to CLGS now, but just hoping you have a fab night.

Hello Dumplings - feel it's time I jumped back into the fray. I've been lurking since the beginning and have posted a couple of times but not for ages.

I'm part of the dumped and preggie sub-group?! So, living totally vicariously through your dating exploits as all that stuff really isn't on the cards for me right now

So, will try and make more of an effort in future to actually post stuff - even if it's not about new blokes!

Hope Saturday night dating/telly/wine/food fests are all going well.

Hi all fellow Dumplings and welcome back into the fray Puma. It must be hard for you to watch the Dumplings' exploits without joining in but hopefully it won't be too long before you move in the same direction.

Blimey, I only popped off for 24 hours and such a lot has happened! Far better than any novel I've read (except for yours Beauty). In particular have laughed like a drain at tattoo and ear comments. Reminds me of a date I had when I was about 15 when my date turned up with the wrong trousers on.

Sadly no date for me, can't get over the fact that XH might see my photo if I put it on a dating site and so whilst I've done a bit on the sites I think having no photo makes me a but unlikely to get any action (but then my photos are not so hot!)

XH still being a bit a bit of bully but have managed to rise above it now (after a night of sobbing) and hopefully have come up with a cunning plan that will knock him into touch. Have decided to call him bald eagle and to only date men with hair in future.

I cannot believe you girls -you are cracking me up! Mumbojumbo, steering ears and the best of all - Mammy - all I can think is those portraits with the eyes moving round watching your every move when your moving in close! Oh god I would have run a mile if Id found that when taking his clothes off . Just as well you know him in RL

Glad your back Puma.

Beauty - you are so funny - love the seaside story. Totally understand the warm feeling when X there. Hope you can have some more up days soon.

Hope all have a great rest of the weekend - hoping for more reports soon - you lot are helping me keep going in midst of H visiting weekend!

Hello there. I am here but trying not to spend yet another night on MN/watching TV.

Lone parenting - groundhog day.

So, this is me lurking for the evening. Will attempt to find something different to do.

Hope you all have a great Saturday night. (and not just loobie )

Evening Dumplings,

Welcome back pumagirl, post away about your little bump & all things bump related. We've all dc's & I'm sure we'd find a way to lift your spirits with our collective wisdom etc..

Ifyourhappy, baldeagle is a great name & fits very well with the trend of this thread. Hope you're feeling a bit better now & that our stories cheered you up somewhat. I'm the same as you, there is no way I could post my pic on a dating site.

Mumfun, at least now I will know what to expect if I decide to go ahead & do the dirty deed despite mammy. It's such a pity as he has a great body, 6ft, very muscular, tanned..... for fu*k sake why did he not just get a rebel tattoo!!

Mavis, I know that groundhog day feeling so well...

Mmmwine, best of luck with tomorrow & don't forget to report back. I don't want to be the only one exposing all my dirty linen in public.

Anyway, onto MD (can't bring myself to use the mumbodumbo description anymore). MD or Painter from now on. Ok, I'm trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for mammy that I could hold onto so that I could justify going ahead & doing the deed! I have remembered that a good few years ago his mother was v sick & he was v upset about it. I'm thinking maybe he was so distraught he did it in a moment of madness without considering the impact this could have on his future sex life & of course is too loyal to mammy to now admit that it was the most stupid fucking thing he ever in his life did.... how does that sound dumplings??

He's been texting all day, I've just lowered the tone now by some rather suggestive texts!! I've noticed he's rapidly overcoming his shyness & responding in kind. I think I'm going to overlook mammy for now & have a bit of fun & a shag. I've been pondering the issue all day & I think it's too good an opportunity to pass up. The wanking arm thing has kinda stuck (thanks Caramela), & I think it'll be a great story for my memoirs!! How many other women will be able to say they were looking at mammy while simultaneously performing wild sex acts?? I'm actually begining to think this could be a good thing, strangely kinky . Ok, I'll admit I'm just a slapper & prepared to overlook anything for a shag .

Mmmwine, hopefully he'll have a good explanation for keeping you waiting.