ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

mmwine maybe he is just busy? unbelievable I know if he has you as a potential date but patience dumpling

Happy re ex and webcam I know how you feel

Evening Dumplings,

Caramela, living with twunts must make us immature as I also found myself giggling at the whole sausage thing!

Lamby, best of luck with what must be the only normal man on PoF.

Mmmwine, about your date, chin up, tits out...

PumaGirl, I love all things bump related so post away. I would deffinately check out friend for a possible shag nice time, you've nothing to loose.

Loobie, about all that cunny & sex...

Ifyourhappy, oh how brave of you posting a pic, best of luck.

Mumfun, moving from 54 to 35, think if his performance in the bedroom is as good as CLGS sounds, I'll forgive him for mammy.

Beauty, at that is one sentence I didn't expect to be typing. Glad to see you back in form. You do not look old Beauty, youthful type was obviously embarrassed by your beauty & knew he didn't stand a chance!

Marriedtoafuckwit, I was also married to a fuckwity (I am so of you name). Allow yourself time to grieve & heal. Ex has obviously shut down emotionally as nobody can walk out of a marriage & away from dc's & be that happy. Count yourself lucky, you've got a head start on exh on dealing with the emotional stuff.....it'll be coming down the road to him.

Dumplings, if ye are organising a meet up please give me notice & I will try to fly in if at all possible. I might have to cart dc's aswell though so will be looking for assistance from fellow dumplings for reliable babysitter etc..

Caramela, my exh was Irish & was good at the whole cunny business but he was still a bollocks!!

Morning Dumplings

Message from Golden b*llocks to mark what would have been 20 years together today....'I am so sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you so much, If it's any help it was never worth it'

Of course it has made me cry why does he always have to do that to me?! I wish I could have certain bits of my brain removed so that he is totally wiped out of it

I just hope my day gets better might have to backtrack on weekends threads because you dumplings make me laugh so much

ha ha ha ha ha thanks Dumplings that worked just think if we ever do meet up it would be an absolute riot

Hello Loobie, just a quickie (like you need one after your weekend) to say of course it made you cry - 20 years is a very long time, crying is a natural response. Of course too, he regrets it - look at you, look at the way CLGS is treating you, CLGS clearly realises your worth. GB has realised that too late and is left with his foetal girlfriend and his self pity. I hope your day gets happier.

Thanks Caramela you have summed GB up perfectly .... have a good day

Morning dumpettes and sending lots of happy thoughts to Loobie especially. Treat yourself to something nice today. And if bored...please compose us a nice glossary of dumpette terms and commly used acronyms (something I've been meaning to do for a while! )

Loobie, sorry to hear your X upset you.

On Sunday I texted FBG to ask how his day had been as he could not make it Saturday, no reply whatsoever so no idea what to make of that. I am finding the whole thing rather stressfull to be honest, he did say he wanted to stay longer next time but when is next time?

Some good news though, I won a whole box of very expensive wine and champagne with a short story competition woohoo, perfect to share with some girlfriends.

Dumplings thanks for your words of support re text from GB I am over it now been to the pub and had a large glass of the worshipped pinot grigio and life seems better now

Dutchy re FBG not sure what his game is to be honest either he is shy or he is keeping his options open so perhaps you should keep yours open too

Well done on winning the champagne and chocs us Dumplings can work our way through them later whilst posting on MN to our hearts content

I'm glad your day improved Loobie, you suspected he was going to get in touch in some way that was going to be upsetting, didn't you ? GB sounds like he's never going to be happy no matter what.

Dutchy, god knows what Firm Arse is playing at, I'd leave him to his own devices and see what other potential male diversions are out there, ripe for the plucking.

Marriedtoafuckwit, hello and welcome to the Dumpling fold, it's kind of like a fabulous sailing ship with Beauty at the helm ( I'm guessing wearing an impressive pair of boots ) , we all lounge around the decks in elegant sarongs - chin up,tits out, sipping pina coladas and discussing Phantom Penis Texters . Loobie disappears off in her motor launch every so often to the love shack on the desert island where CLGS waits in constant readiness and we ask each other for the occasional slap to bring us to our senses when we forget our fabulousness.

We're all in this together, you'll feel better - promise. In the meantime, put something glittery on and have a laugh.

Loobie, tell me the truth did you find an oil lamp in an antiques shop, give it a dust and a giant man wearing a gold waistcoat and harem pants appeared, offering you 3 wishes ? If so and you still have 2 wishes left get him to deliver CLGSs for each Dumpling will you. Ta in advance.

Beauty, my velvet coat is a hand-me-down from my sister. I think she gave it to me because she felt sorry for me at a time in my life when the likelihood of me spending over a hundred quid on a item that wouldn't benefit from being smeared in snot and yogurt before it was worn on the school run was pretty remote.
I'm sorry to be so predictable about Bollock Face - my current plan, should I get chance to put it into action, is to use him for sex ( no steering necessary - whey hey ! ) and then discard him. Updates as they happen.

Puma, another vote for the ex here.

Mmmwine, don't waste time on the arse, when Loobie's genie delivers we'll all be laughing.

Lamby, get you with the MSN Man ! before you know it he'll be pandering to your every whim.

Ifyou'rehappy - webcam ? ewwwwww.

Startingover, any news about MD ? Do you have your own version of an advent calendar, counting down the days you have left for a pre-yuletide shag ? If so, what's behind the little doors ?

Hello Mavis ( I always think of you as having a proper grown up career ).

Anyway, this is like f-ing War and Peace, I'd better feed the offspring

Update as promised - have had offer of sexual congress from Bollocky - have not said yes - look at me Dumplings, I'm all' yeah whatever, Sex ? - no I'm fine. Cunnilingus, nah ? - it's not all that '. I am turning into a pathological liar . More news as it happens.

Oooh Caramela why not use Bollocky for sex!! But only if you can handle it and not put your new found fabulosity and feistiness in jeopardy. Sounds like you're the only one who is still in touch with ex - he obviously can't tear himself away!!

Beauty how are you doing after your run in with toddler!! He was prob dazzled by your extreme beauty and then realised that there was no way someone as marvellous as you would go for someone as crap as him. His loss my dear.

MarriedTo how are you doing? Don't be fooled by the apparent togetherness of some of us on here. You are at such an early stage and so will be feeling totally crap about it all still. It really is time, time, time all the way and then you will not look back I promise. Keep talking about it as we've all been there and it hurts like hell.

Looby we are living vicariously through your obvious voracious sexual appetites with CLGS. Please don't stop for our sakes! You're the only one getting any! He sounds so lovely you're new chap and maybe there isn't a catch. Sorry to hear about that pointless text sent by xh - must have hurt.

Mmmmmwine any news yet?

Ifyou'rehappy hows the dating site going now that you've posted a picture of your beautiful fabulous self? Inbox inundated I'm sure. Are you on PoF? If so, what do you think of it?

Well, things going OK with MSN man. We are speaking for hours every night and we don't run out of things to say! We are planning to meet first thing in the new year still on some historical day out!! (I think he's very nervous and wants to take things easy but that's absolutely fine by me). Historical day out because we're both interested in that kind of thing before you brand him a bit of a geek! He seems like a sweety buy I will reserve judgment.

Starting when are you going on your second date? He does sound lovely so go for it girl!

Evening Dumplings,

Caramela, I'm tempted to tell you to offer it to the postman, milkman or some such other passerby. I know you are desperate for some cunny action but but but.............

Loobie, glad the alcohol helped ease your pain....

MD is ready & waiting but I've a manic wk this wk, so I've told him it'll probably be the weekend before I get to see him again. He's still eagerly texting & ringing.

Dumplings, I need some Dumpling power to help me at the moment. Two disasters have occured simultaneously & I am struggling to cope. Have been struggling with college work & nearly had assignment completed (have to hand in on fri), but I've just realised I've gone seriously off track (i.e. fucked up) & will need to start over!!

The second catastrophe is worse (if possible), I can hardly bring myself to think this is really happening as I'll have a massive anxiety attack. I'm apprehensive about posting this but I'm hoping for some words of wisdom. I've been called to testify in court in the morning. I'm not going to give details here but suffice it to say it will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Only found out on Fri & didn't allow myself to think about it but now I have extreme anxiety building up, feel on the verge of a major panic attack.

I am up to my eyeballs with school concerts/plays etc with dc's. OMG, dc's are gone mental, I've just spilt a carton of milk all over kitchen making dd's bottle. Am going to muster up strength to get dc's to bed now.

Just a quickie, Startingover - I've had to give evidence in court twice - once to do with work and once in connection with an assault on me. I was scared shitless both times but got through it. Let me know if I can be of any help. If you want me to give you my email or mobile number, tell me and I'll send it via whatever the messaging thing on here is. I mean it - have a hug and try not to worry

Mmmm so much happening here in Dumpland hard to know where to start. Life here in the Happy(ish) household a little uninteresting in comparison. (dating scene quiet for me Lamby, is not PoF although I did have a look at that one. Have only received strange messages following photo posting so guess I just attract pillocks!)

StartingOver, sounds like a really sh** thing to have to do tomorrow. Have been through some crap stuff in my life but never had to testify. All I can say is stay as calm as you can and remember that it won't go on forever, just something you need to do and then will be done and gone (I hope). Are you going with someone, will be nice to have RL support in addition to us? Keep talking to us tonight if you're feeling panicky and we'll do what we can to help.

< Waves madly at growing group of 'pettes>

Evening Dumplings just returned from another rotten day at work

Okay a confession from Loobie I have not told you about sky diving down CLGS stairs last Wednesday evening have I? I decided to live out one of CLGS's greatest desires and dress up like a strumpet to get the desires going a bit so i turned up at his place dressed in a basque, thong fishnet stockings and knee high boots under my mac just to cover my modesty and not look like a hooker turning up on his doorstep.

So I rang the bell clutching my prized mulberry handbag to me in a misjudged attempt to look classy. CLGS took my coat for me and literally grinned like I was the best thing to ever launch itself through his front door, he grabbed me and one of the best sh*gs I have ever had took place on his sofa ... then I needed the bathroom and I did not like to put big main stair light on he case he looked at my huge bare butt wobbling up his stairs, all was fine until i tried to come back the stairs in the dark missed the top step and tumbled down the complete set of stairs and landed in an undignified heap at the bottom. oh the shame and I really hurt myself and wanted to cry but I had to pretend that I was fine just fine. I tried to look sexy and glamourous and just ended up looking stupid!!! ok confession over dumplings and I have some shocking bruises.

Caramela I started this confession post a while ago and then got distracted by cooking dinner answering phone etc so if i have missed loads of progress re the sex offer from Bollocky I am sorry but goodness if its just sex and he's not going to break your poor fragile heart then go for it dumpling. You have sussed my antique shop rummaging re CLGS and the harem pants man and I have just ordered a CLGS for every dumpling that fancies one, hopefully they will be delivered gift wrapped tomorrow morning. By gift wrapped I mean a bow stuck on to cover their prized posession and not much else.

Waves to lambypoo, startingover ,Mavis , married2aFW, Beautiful, mmwine, Dutchy and all the other dumplings.

Loving lambys summing up of Beautys 'toddler encounter' by the way

I am so over the GB text from this morning hurrah just a temporary blip in my singledom fabulousness that was

Startingover I have to go to court loads for my job I am sorry you are having to do this but you will be fine, the thought of it is always much worse than actually going. Like Happy says keep talking on here and we will get you through it

Caramela: Do not take Bollocky up on his, very low, opening bid! Refuse it and then SEE WHAT HE OFFERS NEXT. Definitely, I know Im right, you know I'm right. Never accept a first offer.

I've bought a couple of Stop your Divorce type eBooks , written by men, and they both say that men will try to shag you again -- because they know it will make you bond with them. You will not be able to remain feisty, you will smell his skin, stroke his hair, get misty-eyed, and that'll be it. He, meanwhile, will have got his way and will be back on top of his game.

Remember: A man can't think straight before he's had sex, a woman can't think straight afterwards.

So refuse his kind offer of a bunk-up, and await further offers, pls thx.

"Remember: A man can't think straight before he's had sex, a woman can't think straight afterwards."

< Giggles and drops wine glass >

Caramela, thank you so much for your kind offer, I'm really touched by the support on here. I hope the assault wasn't too traumatic for you & can I say I really appreciate you posting that on here because sometimes I'm nervous I might be posting too much info on a public forum.

Ifyouhappy, again thank you so much for the support.

Loobie, I have to thank you the most because I have tears running down my face from your post. That laugh you just gave me by your description of events has released all that pent up tension. Thank you, thank you.

Dc's asleep tg, costumes ready for tomorrows plays. Negligent mother left dc's in uniform today as I had so many collections & drops to do & then proceeded to feed younger two spaghetti hoops as I hadn't the energy to fight with them to eat proper dinner & so all uniforms are now in wash!!

Have to testify against exh! It had been agreed between solicitors, police & himself, that he'd plead guilty, would have got a record but no custodial sentence & I would not have had to attend any court hearings. He was in court on Wed, had already plead guilty but when charges were read out he changed his mind, judge went ballistic & said he wanted me in court on Tues morn. Everyone's infuriated now & police are now going to throw book at him they are so annoyed. This is now probably only the first of many court hearings I am going to have to attend.

I am not bringing anyone with me because that would actually make me feel worse. I'll have solicitor & a female police officer who is handling case with me.

I am living in a very small area & even though the charges are not v serious, exh is v well known so there is a possibility this is going to end up all over the local papers. Oh the shame & I haven't even told my family!

Starting: I'm so sorry you have to go to Court tomorrow, but please think about this sensibly -- have you ever seen Judge John Deed? Do you know what these barrister types earn?? Have you no idea how HOT you can look up there, dabbing your eyes gently with tissues and huskily asking for glasses of water??? (Think "Chicago".)

I know you'll be fine, so please concentrate on making sure you get lots of sleep and a lovely freshly ironed shirt that shows your boobs.

(((startingover)))