ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Caramela you don't need absolution you need a shag!!! Seriously though we have all been there texting random flirty stuff to ex's blimey I even asked mine if he fancied a shag on the table at work when he popped into sign the financial settlement paperwork which we had been arguing over for weeks soooo don't feel bad girlie

Starting I hope you are by now being given enough space by DC's to start the pampering and canterlevering of tits under your chin so that shy painter just wants to launch himself into your cleavage.... have a fab fab time and if you don't come back and tell all at some stage this weekend you'll be hung by us dumplings

Happy please don't shag a bloke from work it will only make him walk around with a silly smug face that you have to look at every day and possibly want to slap ... not good especially if he is a crap shag

Hi Mavis, Mumfun and lambypoo ... waves, Dutchy hope the firm bum is as nice to touch as to look at , report pls?

Feeling positivemum enjoy your wine and happy lurking

I am struggling to think of my goal for December maybe it should be not to stuff my face with galaxy chocolate and mince pies an get a huge ( or should that be huger) lardy butt. I have today booked myself into miltary bootcamp for a week in February I must be mad but in my defence i had just been to the pub therefore I blame the wine.... again. The temple of Pinot Grigio has a lot to answer for

Loobie, you asked him if he fancied a shag on the table at work ??? - Loobie, love, you are great - that made me spit coffee over the keyboard.

It's several months since I was even approaching tipsiness, however, this time next week I will be getting myself hoisted into my tarty outfit and hoping to avoid making a show of myself at the Christmas do. I apologise in advance for any filth I post on here when I get back.

Nothing to report back I am afraid.
He did sent email today wishing he could have stayed longer but nothing has been arranged, not sure what to do . He is gorgeous though, very fit and a gentleman.

Going to party tomorrow though with lots single men apparently with friend, should be fun!

Thanks Caramela - yes I am feeling much better - not so many blubbing sessions over xp (still a few though). Looking forward to 2010. Know what you mean about feeling a bit flattered! Have had to pick myself up and give myself a big slap for believing that any of them mean a single thing they say!!

Loobie - I am so glad you're man is still going strong - you give me hope. Are you very keen?

Beauty hope you're feeling better and are happy with your newfound choice to ditch men forever for the foreseeable future.

Dutchy, ask him out , go on, you can do it - we're all behind you.

Caramela, I did ask him out, see if he could do lunch tomorrow but he has other things to do. I have other commitments as well.

Gosh, I think I am just going to be celibate for another two years, a much more quiet life.

Caramela - You do know better but hey, I'm spending christmas eve to boxing day with my xH so who am I to judge? Pro-active knicker remover sounds like something marketed by JML - Woolies wouldn't have gone bust if you could have picked up one of those with your pick and mix.

Beauty - believe me I'm tempted to use my first childfree weekend to instigate a Dumpette meetup however as I have literally no idea when that may be then I shant start packing just yet! When they do the inevitable 'Dumpette night' on BBC3 as a result of your book can we all have a talking head slot? After all, it's us going through this, not Sue Perkins.

Mumfun - hope you have a good weekend despite presence of xH.

Lamby - you sound sooooo much better - and hey, if it's all bravado then so be it fake it til you make it and all that. Hope you are in new house before Christmas

Loobie - bootcamp sounds great! I actually love that type of thing as you feel so virtuous at the end and you really, really, really deserve the vino then! Oh, and a shag on the table at work?? Ha ha ha

Dutch - another one saying ask him out! Really, what is the worst that could happen?

Feelingpositive - you may not technically have been dumped but, and can you tell I've been thinking about this, by being emotionally abusive your XP effectively dumped you from having a fulfilling relationship. By leaving you were simply recovering from this. Ergo, welcome to Dumpettehood!

Right, so it's Friday night (wonders how Startingover is getting on). Wine is open, Bombay mix is almost finished and I have downloaded Christmas with the Rat Pack. I love Christmas in a pathetically childlike way and I am not letting circumstances spoil it for me. It's ds2's first Christmas so we are going to have a Good Time (stamps foot).

There. Another December goal! Off to drink wine and listed to Sinatra.....

Mavis, I agree. It was 'constructive dismissal'!

So, glass of wine in hand, tirimisu (family size) and I'm a celebrity (dear god). It's Friday night.

Hey Dumplings

Yes I really did ask him for a shag on the board room table, the thing is I was still totally in love with him even though he is a complete and utter 5 times cheating shite, I am definitely over that phase now. So he finally agreed to accept nearly £30k less than he originally wanted and i was so keen to get it all signed and sealed that I asked him to pop into work to sign it and the only room available was the board room. i know I shouldn't have and I was weak and pathetic but when I asked him for a shag I really meant it I am so glad I am over him and his 24 year old is welcome to him.

I hope startingover is having fab sex oops a fab evening

Caramela I am sooo looking forward to the filth you will post on here after you christmas party I might buy pop corn and wine and maybe a few twiglets in anticipation of a good giggle I cannot imagine you looking the slightest bit tarty you always sound so classy you'll knock em dead not make a show of yourself

Mavis yes boot camp is great this will be my third visit and I must admit i am a bit addicted the first time I lost 11lb and 7" in a week and the second time 8lb and 5" you come home thinking that you are invicible and when I was really down in the dumps it gave me so much confidence I thought for a while that I was wonder woman except I don't have the legs for it. You made me laugh out loud with your woolies comment pro active knicker remover by JML lol

Lambypoo I am glad you are having less blubbing sessions it is awful isn't it and I got to the stage where I thought that surely I would simply run out of cry but we will get there in the end , with regards to CLGS yes I am keen he's really sweet , attentive turns up when he says he will and seems to be a genuinely nice guy with the added bonus that he is sexy too. Believe me I have had my fair share of wasters, knob heads and uggers from internet dating and just as I was so done with men I struck lucky so fellow dumplings don't give up

I must confess that I am yet again on the pinot grigio I think I should do something about this bad habit but maybe next year

Oh Dumplings. what am I going to do?? I am so fed-up. I just made an utter twat of myself - had my best male friend over here then just sobbed through the evening.

I can't rid myself of thoughts like, I fucked up my life; I am hopeles; nothing no will ever be any good; I'm completely unlovable; my career (I used to give love advice!) is finished; I'm a bad mother and a worse wife, and now a hideous, sobbing friend too.

I'm in bits lately. I don't know what's happened. All the braado has gone and now I'm just looking at the wreckage of my life and literally do not know where to start.

I'm so sorry for spilling this all out here. This is a cheerful, positive thread! Ooops.

Sorry for bad typing - DS1 has been hitting my laptop whenever he loses on a PC game and the keys are all broken.

I think the issue is: I let a lot of "my" stuff go in the marriage (my career, friends, etc), and now the marriage is over, it feels like I have a complete mess to clean up everywhere else. IYKWIM. I'm faced with a right mess.

Or... I have PMT and shouldn't have necked 2 glasses of red wine, a whisky and a vodka.

Beutiful you are so not useless we all have bad days where we feel like you do now

okay your friend that you sobbed on is exactly that a friend and the fact that you sobbed so what eh?!! You are probably suffering from the dreaded pmt and it makes us all feel utterly crap. You are not crap you are wonderful clever, witty ,sucessful and an inspiration to all of us dumplings

Right Bautiful pick up 'your stuff' one bit at a time get the fabulous you back starting right here right now. Alcohol the root of all evil but at the time it feels good hope the aftermath tomorrow is not too bad

mmmwine welcome aboard and good luck on the date

Dumplings, I cannot believe there has been so many posts on this thread the one night I was missing. Have just read throught them all quickly as am a bit hyper after my date!

Caramela, I'm still laughing about feeling slightly flattered by the hair comment..

Loobie, likewise I'm still laughing about asking for a shag on the boardroom table..

I went a step further & took my twunt back last year... disaster!

Beauty, I've felt exactly how you feel tonight & it passes. Just take things a day & a time for now & do at least one nice positive thing for yourself everyday. We all have bad days or moments, it's part of grieving for the lost dream.

Lamby, so glad to see you back.

Big waves to all other dumplings am too tired to mention all posts & need to move on to my report of date..

Ended up getting home disasterously late this evening so date preparation was frantic to say the least. Hadn't prepared what to wear so quickly (after frantic hair removal in shower), jumped into a lovely dress I have from french connection, tan tights & boots, topped by my prized DKNY coat. Was 20 mins late & he was sweetly waiting outside door despite subzero temperatures instead of waiting in his car.

The night was great, we got on brilliant & spent most of night laughing. Having known him for the past 5yrs really helped though because I kinda already know him so well iykwim. We got on so well I decided to ask him back for coffee (despite having said I'd never bring any man to my house). Continued to chat, have a great laugh & had first kiss (which he initiated tg). I would love to sign off here & say everything was wonderful & that I'm floating on a cloud.

However, while I loved being with him & will deffinately do it again, there were two things that caused me alarm. Us dumplings have been sharing our most intimate insecurities, paranoia's, weird eating habits, strange sex prefrences etc.. & so I feel the need to share this with you.

Half way through date, I suddenly became aware that despite being v good looking, his ears stick out. Once this reality dawned on me, I found it hard to focus on anything else for awhile & instead of looking in his eyes, I found myself unable to stop looking at his ears & wondering why I'd never noticed this before.

The second issue causes me huge pain to confess. He has a few tattoos so I was asking him what they meant etc.. Anyway, he went on to say he had another two further up his arms, one on each shoulder. He had a tee-shirt type top so he briefly pulled up each side to show me, one was a picture of his mother! I got such a shock I nearly died, I had a v real urge to run to the bathroom with my mobile to ring my bf. Conversation moved on but I found myself returning to the image in my mind over & over. Could I actually has sex while looking at his mother looking back at me?? I really really liked him, had a great night but am not sure I can overcome the whole mother issue.. I kept my knickers firmly on while I consider my options & have a chance to get some feedback on this.

Startingover you have just made me laugh out loud despite my dreadful hangover ..... his ears stick out .... ha ha ha ha ha that is soooo funny, the mum tattoo is IMHO slightly weird I can see exactly where you are coming from, isn't that the sort of thing that gypsies do?! Next thing you know he'll be wanting to keep his tarmac rake in your sink.

Hmmmmm a dilemma indeed if he is nice and you had a good evening out with him and the waiting outsde in sub zero temperatures was really sweet,plus he made you laugh that is very very good make a list of all the things you like about him and a list of the things you don't then see how you feel. Did he mention doing it again anytime soon?

Oh must mention French connection dress and DKNY coat I bet you looked fabulous.

You were posting very late so you may still be in the land of sleep but knowing that you have 3 DC's maybe not?!

Right I'm off to get my nails done and a pedicure decided to treat myself this weekend , hopefully by the time I get back some other dumplings will have weighed up the mum tattoo dilemma and you will be in less of a quandry over it.

Come on Dumplings straw poll on stratingovers tattoo problem I think the ears can be forgiven maybe

Startingover - your post has really made me laugh (whachoo laffin at mama??)

All I can say on your dilemma is that he was born with the ears so fair enough. However at some point he thought, "you know what I need? What I need is an idelible picture of the most important woman in my life on my arm". I suspect it's a MIL thread waiting to happen

Morning Dumplings, I'm back to check out the whole tattoo business. God I was so tired this morn & had a major hangover from too many cigarettes. No sleep in, dc's were jumping on me at some ungodly hour.

I know he is v close to his mother, OMG not that I think of it his mother was left in the same situation as me!! Had to get his father out of the house due to drink prob & raised 6 kids on her own. It was done as a tribute to her! He is v embarrassed about the other tattoos (which I had no issue with), as they were done when he was v young. But there seemed to be no embarrassment re the mother one.

I have no idea what it looked like because I got such a shock & was so horrified that I couldn't bring myself to look at it!!

Ok, I think we're all agreed that the ears issue can be overcome. Now just have to decide on the mammy issue.

Loobie, no gypsy breeding. He would be v respectful, polite, gentle, a pure gentleman really. I'd say he's half smitten already, & is v keen to do it again but said he's happy to fall in with what suits me as I have dc's to consider. More or less agreed to meet again mid week.

Are you meeting CLGS this w'end??

Mavis, glad I'm giving you a laugh anyway, we all need that.

Mmmwine, good luck for your date tonight.

should have read OMG now!! Am lucky to be able to construct a sentence, what with pounding head & images of mother tattoos floating around!!

Startingover, take me as another vote for ignoring the ears - after all you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fire do you ? ( comment copyright of numerous offensive 70s comedians ). However the tattoo of his mother's face, that really is a bit freaky, I mean what if it's on his wanking arm ? Who'd want that ? Maybe he has some sort of un-Bates Motel excuse, she's dead as Mmmwine says or he was really drunk or young or errrrm I dunno - it's a family tradition and his dad has a tattoo of granny on his arse ?

To be honest I think you have to invent a special shagometer, input all the available data - nice bloke, funny, charming, polite, good body, tattoo of his mother's face and see what the verdict is. My instinct would be good for fun and sexual antics, not necessarily a good bet for a serious relationship unless extenuating circumstances are revealed.

Beauty, blimey you're having it a bit rough at the moment - bad days are inevitable, the trick is to allow yourself to be upset and move on. Remember, you are fabulous - tits out, chin up.

Loobie, thank you for the classy comment - anyone who knows me will now be completely thrown off the scent . I will be wearing a red satin corset, burlesque style bustle skirt and fishnet stockings at the Christmas do ( it's fancy dress, I don't normally go out dressed like a superannuated streetwalker. Well, not often anyway ). I hope the hangover improves - get some lemonade and crisps down you - works wonders.

Thanks for the slap Mavis, much appreciated, have a good Saturday.

Hello all other fellow Dumplings, have a lovely weekend

Caramela, I'm laughing so much at the wanking arm thing but unfortunately have just figured it probably is indeed the wanking arm! Am having strange visions of lustful moments when you get carried away & scream "fuck me hard"...only to open your eyes & find mammy looking at you!! I am thinking there could be many an orgasm lost over mammy. Considering wild/kinky/dirty sex is my main motivator at present, having a threesome with mammy could prove too much of a hurdle even for me.

Only saving grace is that I discovered this now. Imagine my horror if I only found mammy as I was ripping his clothes off in a moment of passion!!

I hope to christ that there is nobody who knows either him or me reading this or I am going to be outed & exposed in the most horrible manner!