Why hasn't he asked me out again??!

[BEAUTlFUL]

Met this bloke online-dating. He was very keen, chased me until I agreed to go out with him. We met for dinner and had such a good time. He walked me home, brief kiss on lips.

Next day he was text-happy, arranging second date. I couldn't see him for a week, and he kept in touch, even going back to the online-dating site and sending me a really sweet message to say he missed me so much, he had to look at my photos.

Second date was lunch. I felt very shy but we had a good laugh. I did tell him that I had a couple more coffee-dates with online men coming up (and was going speeddating). Maybe that was a mistake, but it was true!

That day, he kissed me on the cheek, sent a few more texts (keen ones) then... nuthin. I've had one more text and a couple of friendly but platonic emails.

WHY???!!!! I really like him, what is going on?

Please don't tell me to "tell him you like him" as I'm too cynical. Surely if he liked me, he'd ask me out again?

there there abetadad, ( strokes hair)

Oh beautiful i was only joking about the lucky escape thing

Beautiful - don't be sad about this "relationship" not developing - he was the bloke who you felt was a bit of a player. Now you say he sent you messages that were well over the top - this is a very bad sign - I've got a whole sheaf printed out of what X sent me between May and the end of July - all about loving me forever, how wonderful I am, How beautiful I am
And how much he wanted to perform all sorts of sex acts with me - including over the freezers in Tesco. Of course 2 months down the line when I was totally besotted he thought I was just too much ( and sex obsessed!) Too much too soon , not good.

Just thought - someone might end up a "double dumpling"!!

Have read whole thread. It just doesn't make sense.

Beautiful - how much he liked you and how gushing he was is irrelevant in light of the fact that you told him you would continue to see other men.

'Some of his texts have been astonishingly keen, beyond anything that I've ever had before! ... If he meant 1/100th of what he said, he should be here now, proposing' - NO, because despite him saying all this lovey dovey stuff, you still said you were going to see other men, so of course he's given up.

Also, I have to ask, if you liked him that much, why did you want to still continue to go on the other dates?

There was nothing wrong with going out on other dates, but I'd have kept my mouth shut about it

mmmwine not sure about that.

I didnt even ask DW out properly.

Plenty more fish in the sea! move on girl!!!!

beautiful has made it very clear she will not be contacting him.

imagine if this thread was the other way around:

"I met this guy on a dating website, we seemed to really hit it off, went out for dinner and got on really well, When we got home he kissed me briefly on the lips. Lots of texts and emails and calls after, he seems really keen. Then the other day we went out to lunch and seemed to be having a really good time. Then he mentioned that he had a few dates lined up with other women. I thought he was quite keen on me so I am a bit taken aback by the fact he's still looking. WWYD?"

The instant response would be "if he's seeing other women then he's not that into you. I would back off and not call him again."

So why should it be any different when a woman makes it abundently clear to a bloke that she's not that into him by telling him she's continuing to see other men?

Op - ok you don't want to contact this bloke, that's your perogative. But let's not pretend that he's the one in the wrong here - you're the one that scared him off by telling him you're not interested in pursuing anything by telling him you're still playing the field, as it were.

You say you think he's a player from his texts yet you're essentially admitting to him that you're a player as you're still going on other dates?

He's not the one at fault here.

wannabe- don't agree with your last post.
IME ( brother who does internet dating) it is very common for both people to tell the other they are still on-site, looking or dating others- one date doesn't make theirs a monogamous relationship.

OP- either you pluck up the courage to call him, or you don't. You might get a "no" and be rejected, and you might be getting a "no" now anyway.

The point is, there is only 1 sure way to find out. If you call and he doesn't want to see you, he will say- doubt if he would come along if he didn't want to see you again!

However, if you can be bold and ask him, I'd only do this once- then the ball is in is court.

I really don't think all this angst is worth it- just call him, or forget it.

It IS the 21st century- women are allowed to ask men out.

shineon- how can you possibly say he just wanted a shag? According to the OP this wasn't even mentioned- it was dinner then lunch. No mention of shags or opportunity either?

HAS ANYTHING HAPPENED PLEASE THIS THREAD IS TOO BORING TO PLOUGH THROUGH

Bloody hell Beautiful give me the number and l will phone him for you...

I support the hijack. abetadad tell all, puhleeaze.

Internet dating is all about this stuff. You don't need to play games with 'the one'.
On such brief aquaintance its not worth pursuing. If you are on eggshells now what will it be like when you are in a relationship with him? You need someone who is normal and does what he says on the tin- I'll ring you- so ring me. End of.

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED STOP BOTTLED OUT OF CALLING HIM STOP HAVE DECIDED NOT WORTH HASSLE STOP MIGHT BE MEETING SEXY POLICEMAN FROM UNIFORM DATING NEXT WEEK STOP SORRY FOR CREATING BORING THREAD STOP AM NOW QUITE PREPARED TO STOP

okaaaaaaaaaaaaay calm down

Actually, he did mention shagging! And he sent a dubious text one evening which sounded very like a booty call.

Yes, online-dating is different to normal dating, it's quite "done" to meet more than one person for coffee before you decide who you like. I didn't want this to look like I was messing him around - it was actually my Mum's advice to tell him, to cool him down a bit.

Cheers, mum! No more grandchildren for you!

Ah, feck it, I'll tecksht him

J/K

Sorry again. I'm quite calm and centred again now. Sorry for time-wastey thread. Will go over to Lone Parents' dating bit.