Why hasn't he asked me out again??!

[BEAUTlFUL]

Met this bloke online-dating. He was very keen, chased me until I agreed to go out with him. We met for dinner and had such a good time. He walked me home, brief kiss on lips.

Next day he was text-happy, arranging second date. I couldn't see him for a week, and he kept in touch, even going back to the online-dating site and sending me a really sweet message to say he missed me so much, he had to look at my photos.

Second date was lunch. I felt very shy but we had a good laugh. I did tell him that I had a couple more coffee-dates with online men coming up (and was going speeddating). Maybe that was a mistake, but it was true!

That day, he kissed me on the cheek, sent a few more texts (keen ones) then... nuthin. I've had one more text and a couple of friendly but platonic emails.

WHY???!!!! I really like him, what is going on?

Please don't tell me to "tell him you like him" as I'm too cynical. Surely if he liked me, he'd ask me out again?

DO NOT TEXT OR CALL.

I know it's shiteola, but you want someone who steps up to the plate and does a bit of chasing. You are in no hurry, so let it happen, and bag off the ones who don't meet that criteria. It is a test.

You like him.

He appears to like you.

You are cutting your nose off to spite your face byt not texting/calling him.

You want to see him again, just damn well tell him. You have nothing to lose other than feeling crap for a few minutes but a lot more you might gain.

I lost the one man I really wanted by having too much pride.

No one can force you too, hey, what do i know?

Yes Fab exactly, i wouldn't be with the man i am with now, if i had of waited for him.

NO NO NO NO.

You want someone to pursue you. He is not your soulmate. He is just someone you quite like. If you pursue him, you will never have what you are looking for. Stand firm. You are losing NOTHING.

Take BitOfFun's advice and sit and wait and wait and wait.................

but bof why should he pursue someone who has admitted she had a load of other dates lined up. Seriously.

With that message alone she's given out the message ehs'e just not that into him, so why would he take it further?

Why does she want someone to pursue her?

Pffff... what do I know. Been married for ever and ever. Expect I'd lose the power of speech if I ever went out with some other bloke...

Because Beautiful chased her ex, and as a consequence never felt he really wanted her, as I understand it. I agree that it may have put him off to bang on about other dates (we are not Americans afterall ), but if he can't see past that, then he is not the man she wants anyway.

I don't think anybody is expecting husband number two to show up within weeks of splitting up with the first one, so why not back Beautiful up in her desire to go out with somebody who does chase her and give her a bit of a boost in that way?

Just my view. I do believe men will come after you if they are Into You though.

I get what you are saying, it is totally up too beautiful, obviously, but she likes him so i dont see the problem, i have never chased any man in my life, but i did my current partner and i'm happy i did, he is shy and he would never of made the first move.

ohye simagine eh is at home thinking "I want to have sexhual interkorse with her but I am not ringing her"

leave him and he will come( if he llikes you)

I don't agree with arsing about and game playing. If you like this guy but you've given him the wrong impression by saying you've got a few dates lined up (he may have read this as "don't think you're anything special") just chuck him a text to say"how soon is soon?" as someone else suggested, which registers some interest on your part whilst leaving the ball in his court. You can't expect the poor guy to do all the running and psychically realise you're interested despite getting a pretty clear signal that he was one of a few you were dating.

thanks, Boffy!

Is there anything I can do, though? Anything that looks casual but isn't asking him out?!

Ages ago, after 1st date, we talked about going out this Saturday and he said he'd put it in his diary. I wonder if he meant that? I guess that'll mean something, if he doesn't contact me about that.

This is ridiculous! I am carrying my mobile from room to room!

This is doing my head in.

BoF - what if I said, "You're still in my diary for the 28th... blah blah something casual-sounding"? Or is that still chasing him? (I think it might be.)

ARGH! He must know I like him, because I sent him very keen (for me) texts last week after the lunch. He'd sent me really keen ones! I honestly thought he was into me. That's what is getting to me, it's confusing.

I need to go out into the garden and scream. Back in a minute.

FUCKING RING ME YOU TWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!

I thought you didnt want to phone or text him? or maybe i'm confused, thought you just wanted to wait for him.........

call him or shut it.

That was uncalled for, poor woman, she's nervous! totally understandable.

Are you sure he is single and not just out for a bit of fun- then got cold feet?

I agree in principal that it's better to be chased- men like to do that. BUT on the other hand, if you really are desperate to know if he is wants to see you again, then I'd suggest ONE call/text to say- "wanna meet up again ?". If he ducks, then I'd leave it.

My brother is doing internet dating at the moment and he if he's not keen he always emails/says after a few dates "Really had a nice time with you, but think we should leave it- I don't want to take it any further. Good luck with Match..blah blah." At least then everyone knows where they stand. If they ask why he tells them- and it is usually not enough in common.

Beautiful I feel for you! Now, I think possibly you put him off by saying about other dates- but it's not the end of the world.

My advice is treat him as you would any other friend you had a pleasant dinner with, send him a short, chatty message asking how he is, etc.
No need to ask him out, he ought to get the message from that you are interested.
Make sure you make yourself sound nice and busy and happy in your message.

Agree with those saying don't ask him out, but also don't just let it fizzle out.

Agree, send him a chatty text, don't mention meeting up and see what his response is. Ask a question in it though and think of something amusing that has happened to you today.

Now go and do it.

Call him. It will give you an answer to your question and if you agree to meet then fab, he may tell you to bugger off but at least you will know. Totally agree with JamesATGB!!

Let us know!

I really want you to do the ""hi it's Beautiful are you free for a drink this week" text. And to actually call yourself "Beautiful" in the message.

I wouldn't do the chatty text. It's obvious what you're up to. Be bold, get the pain over with