I will be a strong and independent woman...

[norksinmywaistband]

I no longer believe I am a fucking muppet.
I chose to believe the man I loved and strived to make our marriage work for a year while he was playing me and having the best of me and OW.

I will make it through this and I know I will be a stronger person than ever before, I know I can achieve whatever I need for myself and my DC.

It has not even been 3 weeks but already I am feeling the freedom from his control and taking it back for myself

Today He has returned the admission form and Arrangements for DC form to me duly signed Will hand it to my solicitor on Monday and she can file the petition for divorce.

Thankyou for all the support over the last couple of weeks when I have been to the brink and back. I still have a long hard slog ahead of me ( I know the financial stuff will not be an easy ride, and he is still playing mind games) But I am over the worst and planning my future.

I needed to start this new thread because my feelings about myself have changed and the old title was dragging me down by transporting me back to that feeling , I have moved on from that.

Definately, raging hangover today, so sat on the sofa drinking tea. DC have a mountain of DVDs to watch.

Happy new year to you all

Well what a new year!!!
I think I am definately moving on from twat features, am smiling, and feel that I am definately independant now and my strength is building.
Figured 2010 might be good

I hope 2010 brings you lots of happiness

I have been where you are now and thought i would never again see the sunshine... 4 years on i have really enjoyed single life with my 2 dd's but 4 months ago met the most wonderful man and i am so so happy....

Happy new year

Good for you chocolatespiders - I am now looking forward to my single future with optimism and hope that I can come on here and say the same to someone else in a coupe of years time

Feeling worn down tonight, not been posting for a bit as was feeling strong enough to cope with everything. oday has tipped me over

DD's 5th party this pm, Ex was there and seeing as he was ignored by the majority of parents present( poor him )
Decided he was going to have a major sulk and start being difficult and non communicative in front of the DC. He has taken them for his contact time straight from the party and, just rang for a tearful DD to say goodnight to me( he never does this)

Refused to take their waterproofs with him saying he would collect them tomorrow, but when I said I may not be in reminded me he has a key and collect them anyway. As DC were there I just shrugged If I go out wil leave them out in a carrier and text him to let him know where they are, but that he can still come and go as he pleases.

He was so amenable over xmas and the new year, but has since recieved the divorce petition and I know he will now be anything but

I however have moved on so far that I feel nothing for him except annoyance that I let im rule my life and decieve me for so long.

Cannot wait to be divorced from him, need to get a job and him off the mortgage asap though

Ah Norks....what a knobber.

I am so glad overall you are doing much better. And the glitches take you by surprise when they happen and you were doing better.

Mine has done something similar and arranged for his computer to be delivered here on wednesday after some work on it, firstly without asking me, and then informing me that it will be between 8 and 6...'you will be in won't you?'

Again in front of DC's.

I have no idea what to advise but can you use it as a guide for a future incident...sort of, 'actually no, I might not be here, why don't you take them now to save the hassle?' It is a shame to make journeys with the DC's that aren't necessary'

Although it is an arse having to second guess everything before it happens.

What are you doing tomorrow, something nice?

Sorry you are in the same position MW.
They can be such cocks.
I have no plans for tomorrow - Need to go out for a run but think the weather will put pay to that
Probably just get the house straight and maybe meet a couple of friends for lunch.

Really wish life wasn't so tiresome

I am not glad to be in this situation, but am very glad that what went before is either over or not just so constant.

I like the times on my own, (obviously love being with the DC's) painting, listening to music, not waiting for an explosion, not tiptoeing around the house in the evenings.....

Do you have any stout shoes? I find a good brisk walk has a similar effect to a run. Wrap up, a few pounds in my pocket for a coffee somewhere and walk fast and hard.... It isn't running but can be very invigorating!

Take care and I hope you pick up again soon you have come so far...xx

Feeling very low atm, cannot stop crying, feel totally powerless and unable to exert any control over my future

Every time I climb to the top of one hurdle I get knocked right back down

Beginning to feel That I do not have the strength for all of this after all, just want to crawl into bed and stay there...

Just finding life sooo overwhelming, I want to get off now

Don't beat yourself up at the moment. You have just taken another major step in this whole process with the divorce petiton. Its no wonder that you feel this way. From reacting to events a few months go, you are now driving them and this will take its toll on you emotionally.

Its the finality of the process which is hard - and all that it means in reality.

January is a bad month at the best of times All this snow is invigorating to start with, but then becomes a drag, gives us too much time to think.

Give your self time for a bad moment, remember that you have already exerted a super human amount of control to get this far. When you originally posted, you couldn't see the end of the week and here you are in the new year with 2DCs and if you are not sure about your future, look at their little faces tomorrow. I think they might make you smile