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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I will be a strong and independent woman...

185 replies

norksinmywaistband · 21/11/2009 20:35

I no longer believe I am a fucking muppet.
I chose to believe the man I loved and strived to make our marriage work for a year while he was playing me and having the best of me and OW.

I will make it through this and I know I will be a stronger person than ever before, I know I can achieve whatever I need for myself and my DC.

It has not even been 3 weeks but already I am feeling the freedom from his control and taking it back for myself

Today He has returned the admission form and Arrangements for DC form to me duly signed Will hand it to my solicitor on Monday and she can file the petition for divorce.

Thankyou for all the support over the last couple of weeks when I have been to the brink and back. I still have a long hard slog ahead of me ( I know the financial stuff will not be an easy ride, and he is still playing mind games) But I am over the worst and planning my future.

I needed to start this new thread because my feelings about myself have changed and the old title was dragging me down by transporting me back to that feeling , I have moved on from that.

OP posts:
Hunibee · 23/12/2009 21:16

That's a relationship to be envious of - doing his washing, feeding him and the cosy cups of erm... 'coffee'.

So much for his new relationship being the perfect mix of passion, excitement and contentment.

Or does the the sight of his smalls draped around her house turn her on? Suppose he's always got to come back to collect them.

The mind boggles. What a doormat!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 23/12/2009 21:19

ohhh yesssss

skiddy undies

let me at him

mankymummymoo · 23/12/2009 21:27

Is she a member of the salvation army?!

norksinmychristmasstocking · 23/12/2009 21:28

Ladies please I was all mopey now I cannot stop ing

At least they are not my responsibility anymore

Well rid I tell you, but anger and sadness keeps tipping up - but I suppose that is to be expected

norksinmychristmasstocking · 23/12/2009 21:29

Anything but

Cheap tart, thick as shit, has her DS name in 2" high letters across the back of her neck above collar height, filthy house
Total trash

He obviously felt he needed to find someone more on his own level

Hunibee · 23/12/2009 21:37

I would say that being a bit angry and sad was completely normal.

I would also say that being a skivvy for a bloke who left his wife and kids is totally barking!

Hunibee · 23/12/2009 21:40

Oooh, classy then?

mankymummymoo · 23/12/2009 22:11

hehehe... got it now. so even if he is still Tinkering with the Tart he is too EMBARRASSED to admit it.

What a plonker.

mankymummymoo · 23/12/2009 22:12

and so the tattoo...

Has her DS got a short name then or has she got a very fat neck?

Sorry being a bit horrid now.... MMM... put DOWN that wine !

norksinmychristmasstocking · 24/12/2009 15:05

Her DS has a 7 letter name, it kinds of wraps round, as she is quite petite.

Have not stopped crying today, having to go to the hospital for a consult for me has not helped and had one minor procedure today and have a battery of tests in the new year Am dosed up on nurofen and feeling very sorry for myself

Hunibee · 24/12/2009 15:17

Oh no you don't sound alright. Have you got someone with you to look after you?

Can't be pleasant having been through the mill today and know you have more ahead in the New Year.

If you can, wait until the Nurofen starts to work, then focus on today, on what you need to do to get to Christmas morning. Your DCs will be getting very excited now - tap into some of their energy and let it help you get through the next few hours.

Hope you are not facing being unwell over the holidays.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 24/12/2009 15:17

have a hug and a virtual Baileys, norks

have the best Xmas you can, next year will be better x

norksinmychristmasstocking · 24/12/2009 15:28

Most of stuff is now done, Am Pretty sorted just kids to feed, bath bed, iron their clothes for tomorrow, then attempt to get them to bed at a reasonable hour.

Hoping DS will be OK tomorrow as he has an upset stomach and we are meant to be having dinner at my stepfathers.
well I am going anyway even if I have to stick a nappy on him( I have no food in so if we are going to at we are going to have to go)

I am sure I will be fine by then, unfortunately was not expecting anything to happen today so am a bit

Looking forward to a nice glass of port when DC are in bed, then I just have to play FC

norksinmychristmasstocking · 24/12/2009 20:43

All done Dc asleep, just eaten santa's mince pie and relaxing with a glass of port.

Looks like the DC have bought me lots of nice presents c/o guilty x

Just wanted to wish a merry christmas to all who have supported me over the last year, and lets hope the new year brings much happier chat !!

mankymummymoo · 24/12/2009 21:13

Norks... good for you. I've eaten santas mince pie but for some reason i am sooo worried about going getting the presents to put under tree... never really been on my own to do the whole thing.

i am massively worried DS will wake up as im trying to get the presents downstairs.

someone tell me to go get 'em and relax please !

norksinmychristmasstocking · 24/12/2009 21:17

Relax, mine are fast asleep, I carried mine down in a laundry basket so done in 2 trips
Just the stockings to fill as I climb into bed.

mankymummymoo · 24/12/2009 21:21

bugger... shall I go and do it now?

or another glass of wine [fblush}?

mankymummymoo · 24/12/2009 21:22

well, that worked nicely - i meant .

norksinmychristmasstocking · 24/12/2009 21:30

Not sure you need another go get the presents then I'll share a glass with you.

mankymummymoo · 24/12/2009 21:31

ok... ok.... im going. 5 mins. thanks.

Original poster
norksinmywaistband · 30/12/2009 17:06

Hi, the absent one returns

I have been off trying to focus on RL.
Visiting relatives, drinking lots, coming to terms with not having my DC with me all over the holiday period.

It was good to be away from here for a bit - Have been travelling all over catching up with friends and family. arrived back at lunchtime and felt a black cloud descend.

It has been so nice to forget everything for a few days, but back in the house, DC visiting their dad, all seems very real again

Next couple of weeks are going to be manic, back to school, building work, hospital appointments, DD's birthday

I hope 2010 is going to be the making of me, Can't wait to toast the back of this year tomorrow night

OP posts:
IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 30/12/2009 17:26

Hmm, like the idea of toasting the back of the year . And of course the front of the new fantastic one too!

Original poster
norksinmywaistband · 30/12/2009 19:03

I now have plans for tomorrow night. BF doesn't want me sitting in and moping, seeing as twat features sent me off for a night out with OW last NYE.
So plan is I spend it with her whether or not DC are with me. she has a DD same age as my DD , so if I have them we are all having a sleepover, If not I have an even more relaxed night.

At least I will now have company

OP posts:
Hunibee · 31/12/2009 21:47

Cheers Norks and the others on this thread. I'm not always regular on here, but I wanted to wish you all the best for 2010.

Enjoy toasting the back of the year and look forward to the new months ahead with your beautiful DCs and the freedom to take your life wherever you want to.

Happy New Year.

WhatFuckingYearIsItAnyway · 01/01/2010 13:40

happy new year norks

onward and upward !