I will be a strong and independent woman...

[norksinmywaistband]

I no longer believe I am a fucking muppet.
I chose to believe the man I loved and strived to make our marriage work for a year while he was playing me and having the best of me and OW.

I will make it through this and I know I will be a stronger person than ever before, I know I can achieve whatever I need for myself and my DC.

It has not even been 3 weeks but already I am feeling the freedom from his control and taking it back for myself

Today He has returned the admission form and Arrangements for DC form to me duly signed Will hand it to my solicitor on Monday and she can file the petition for divorce.

Thankyou for all the support over the last couple of weeks when I have been to the brink and back. I still have a long hard slog ahead of me ( I know the financial stuff will not be an easy ride, and he is still playing mind games) But I am over the worst and planning my future.

I needed to start this new thread because my feelings about myself have changed and the old title was dragging me down by transporting me back to that feeling , I have moved on from that.

norks, nip that in the bud from dh straight way, just like you did

before you know it, he will be staying for a glass of wine, then another, then a meal

and it will get all cosy, like it used to be....

you know where I am going with this < hard stare >

Af no way am I going back there - he may think I will but I know my mind on this one - I am not walking back down that road if you gave me a million pounds( well maybe for a million as long as I could dump him spectacularly and never had to have physical contact lol)

now for a million, I could reconsider

So was he trying to re-enact the famous scene in 'Dallas' (sorry very old! ) when the plot 'lost' half the storyline from the previous few months??

Sounds as though he was aiming for the 'nothing's changed' scene!

lol Hunnibee, wouldn't surprise me, he phoned a mutual friend and told him well you never know how things will turn out in the end well I can tell him precisely how things won't work out.

ohhhhhh, the cock-sure arrogance of him !!

please please please please please do not ever give this man another chance

if you do, norks, I swear I will come back to haunt you

That is a scary thought AF
You dod not have to worry now, my eyes are well and truly open to the slime ball he is, just a shame it took me so long to see even a glimpse of it

Plus as you can see, I have very good friends who remind me of this by relaying their converstions

Having a really bad day today
not really sure there is even a trigger, I just cannot stop crying, even broke down in front of DD's teacher this morning( made a right tit of myself)
I cannot motivate myself to do anything. I have to pack the dc's bags for the weekend and I just don't want them to go

come on now

have a good cry and then put it to one side

never mind about the teacher, they must be used to this kinda thing

plan some nice things to do while dc are with their dad...Xmas shopping, nice leisurely lunch/coffee and cake

get your hair done

see a movie

order a takeout curry allll for yourself

or just have a box of chocs for tea

the dc will be back in a couple of days, you are going to have to get used to this norksy,

Well he has been and gone, at least DC were happy to go this time.
I think it is the stress of pick up and how they will be when they get back that gets me down tbh
I am sure it will get easier in time(well I will get used to it, seeing as I have about 15 years left of this

Have planned my weekend, can't stand nothing to do, seems wierd when you have young children, but am going to enjoy it cos I don't get any break in between.
Xmas shopping and lots of coffee with Dsis tomorrow, friend over to stay sat night - bound to be messy, but won't have get up with dc
Sunday chill( oh plus laundry and housework that I haven't thought about all week)

enjoy - if you can. Hope you get all the xmas shopping done too.

Hope you enjoy a little bit of time away from your weekly routine. Take time to be yourself and be with those who care about you.

And if you are in any doubt as to who you are... scroll up to the top of this thread.

A Strong and Independent Woman!

Thanks for the words of encouragement, I wish I felt that at the moment. I didn't ask for or want this, and tbh am struggling to look forward and see that I will be ok.
I know I will, I am just finding it hard. I have no regrets about my decision and would never back track believe me I am seeing positives of not being with twat features on a daily basis.
BUT I am struggling with the evenings, lack of company and a hug when I am feeling low. Friends are great but it is not the same.
Even so I know I am doing my best and things will get easier, having been through real grief, Time really is a good healer and it is early days yet ..

how was your weekend ?

kids ok ?

Bit of a mixed bag AF tbh. Last night was a disaster, friend who has also recently split with her H meant to be staying over after a night out but she vanished halfway through the night out and didn't turn up at mine til 3am!!!! turns out she was confronting her H's OW!!! So not very relaxing as I was worried about her.

DC not back yet due in about half an hour.

Other than last night it has been really nice, coffee and shopping with Dsis, lunch with Bf and her family today.

And now am trying to reconstuct last years playmobil advent calendar for Tues.

Just waiting to what shoes he has bought for them(insisted on doing it himself rather than giving me the money, they were desperate for new shoes) His taste and mine are lets just say not on the same planet - still they will have warm dry feet and that the most important thing

erk, blimey your friend was a bit off for disappearing on you !!

hope she is ok though

glad you had a reasonable weekend otherwise, things can only get better with time

lol @ shoes, he is still trying to have things his own way isn't he ? A bit pathetic really...everyone knows mums are best at sensible shoes

check in later, let us know how kids are (I expect a few tears, a tantrum or two and generally worn-out and ratty monsters )

Well DD's boots would not have been my choice, but they are fine, and DS's are perfect for a 3 yo boy
DS has also had a haircut - he needed one but still a bit shocked when I saw him.
He said it was hard with 2 of them in a shoe shop lol Oh well never mind his choice to go.

Both DC were angelic when they came in, he had obviously listened to my concerns from last week and they were back at 6.30, and so bedtime was a nice and calm and not rushed which helped.

I know my friend was out of order and told her as much( very unlike me) but we talked it through, she is having a very tough time as well, justs copes very differently with things to me.

aww, good that dc's were in a good way when he brought 'em back

they are soooooo young, it is entirely up to him what state they are in when he appears

enjoy your sunday evening, and back to the same old routine in the morning

Just popped in Norks and I think you have had some plus signs this weekend. (and a few disappointing and wobbly moments). You sound stronger in yourself and are gaining perspective which is evident in the way you are handling these situations.

OK, so underneath there's a large part of you is not in a good place, but getting out and about on your own, talking to friends and having time out will set you up for the week ahead.

It must be hard to deal with him making decisons about your DCs - shoes and haircuts, I don't think I would cope so well with that. I'm wondering if you have got yourself in a 'don't sweat the small stuff' place at the moment until you are further down the legal route. Smart move!

I think you are more than a few steps ahead of him...

amen to "don't sweat the small stuff"

I think you 2 have the measure of me.
I am being all sweetness and light as far as humanely possible to ensure I don't rile him into cocking up the financial side of things with the divorce. TBH its the only thing really that still needs sorting with it, the rest is just process.
Unfortunately even moving pictures and furniture at home, which I am doing to make the place more mine seems to have hit a raw nerve with him. Everyone else who walks through the door has said how much more homely and inviting the place is now definately feels more like a home than a minimalistic show piece thank god.