I will be a strong and independent woman...

[norksinmywaistband]

I no longer believe I am a fucking muppet.
I chose to believe the man I loved and strived to make our marriage work for a year while he was playing me and having the best of me and OW.

I will make it through this and I know I will be a stronger person than ever before, I know I can achieve whatever I need for myself and my DC.

It has not even been 3 weeks but already I am feeling the freedom from his control and taking it back for myself

Today He has returned the admission form and Arrangements for DC form to me duly signed Will hand it to my solicitor on Monday and she can file the petition for divorce.

Thankyou for all the support over the last couple of weeks when I have been to the brink and back. I still have a long hard slog ahead of me ( I know the financial stuff will not be an easy ride, and he is still playing mind games) But I am over the worst and planning my future.

I needed to start this new thread because my feelings about myself have changed and the old title was dragging me down by transporting me back to that feeling , I have moved on from that.

Quality St = cheap chocolate

not good

Thornton's is yummy...even the coffee ones

< stuffs another one in >

< vomits >

Tell me about it!

Tin still full after a week...

Norks, been a heavy week for you but you are soooo much stronger now. The whole thing with family and friends talking is not something you need, but they will soon tire of it.

Can't believe the cheek of your ex carrying on as thought some things have not changed.

He'll soon get the drift of you being strong and independent.

I do hope he does, just pissed off he is still blaming his"depression" rather than a chioce to let his cock wander and his fantastic ability to lie and decieve for the break up.

I know I need to let it go, but it really fucks me off

When I read about the ADs, I wondered what sort of story he has spun to the Doctor. I'm not disputing that he may need them, but if he doesn't acknowledge how he got where he is today, no amount of ADs and counselling will give him peace of mind.

He'll have to find out the hard way what happens when you dick around with your family life.

Not been around much this weekend - off having too much fun

Out with mates shopping and sneaking an afternoon drink then a xmas meal with my old antenatal mates turned into a messy night with me crawling in at 2ish sunday morning.
Yesterday was chilling with friends then the DC came back and we swung straight back into routine

Feel the weekend really did me good

And I am getting my new car on Saturday, so will not be reliant on buses when H has the dc , can actually get away and visit people not in the immediate vacinity - Hooray

H has been relatively calm and out of my way lots of texts and calls - but I am dealing with them as a matter of business with no chit chat allowed on his part, he hasn't got the message yet, but he will hopefully soon bore of it

norks, you sound wonderful

good for you !

Do you know what, I feel pretty good atm - Busy as hell, but in control and doing things that make me happy, I think I have mentally turned a corner, knowing/seeing how much stronger I am than he will ever be, has made me realise I deserve to be so much happier than I have been for a long time

Still a little anxious about the petition coming out anytime now, but more how he will react seeing it all official than any ounce of regret on my part

good girl!

yes, isn't it strange how much stronger your character has turned out to be than his ?

he is weak and pathetic, stupid man

Yes I do think it is strange but maybe thats why he was so controlling emotionally in our relationship, I was clearly stronger alone so he felt he had to keep me in "my place" - sad thing is I let him for a long time

never mind that

you are moving on, that is the main thing

Not minding it, just an observation - I am definately moving on

...

[Fgrin][Fgrin][Fgrin][Fgrin][Fgrin][Fgrin] Hadn't noticed the christmas smileys [Fgrin]

damn

get a grip woman

I think I have lost the plot , just started a thread in site stuff asking for a christmassy biscuit

Hi guys manic week here, been really busy and little time to think let alone think about the amount of texting H has been doing!!!

Had 6 yes 6 children today to help out various friends who were stuck for childcare today due to the snow.
It has been manic, but really fun, eldest is 5 in 3 weeks time. All were mobile - it has been organised chaos
Really the sort of thing I would always have done for my mates but couldn't as was to concerned about making everything was done for when fuckwit came home from work.

Now all tidied away DC tucked up happy after a day of playing with friends and in the snow - exactly as it should be. And a very happy Norks having done it all with no stress and smiles all round

I also did something this week that I have been meaning to do for oh about 17 years but he always persuaded me I was wasting my time and money - went to see a medium she was amazing didn't even know my name as refused to take it when a friend booked my appt for me. the things she said have made me know I have made the right path for me and DC and that my mum is watching and guiding me through it. I know its not for everyone but I was brought up in the spiritulist religion, and it really has given me a cosy "at home" feeling

Your post makes great reading.

You've given yourself and your DCs the most wonderful Christmas present this year - freedom, laughter and a future.

Enjoy your car!

Happy Christmas.

Hi norks, you sound really on form

I am so glad you are enjoying life again, its exactly what happened to me and it will get even better as the year wears on.

merry xmas

< wipes away a ikkle tear >

norks, I am very pleased for you

you will have a happy xmas and 2010 will be your year, I feel it

Now now AF, no sentimentality please

You are right though 2010 will be my year because I will make it that way

Got my new car today, crap compared to the old one but it goes is cheap and is MINE

I am now independant and can go where I please when I please, both with the DC and more importantly when I don't have them.

( oh and even though we are not really interested, H's dr didn't re-prescibe the AD's - obviously even in 2x 5 min appts, he can see the depression is not real iyswim)

clever doctor

< stiff upper lip >

(Of course not that we are interested... but the Doctor's judgement is very interesting.)

Oh to have been a fly on the wall. hehehe

I know hunibee, would have loved to have seen how he phrased it. only found out as H is planning on getting merry on his work do tonight and I asked him if he had checked whether he could drink with the AD's. He mumbled something about the doctor not giving him anymore, but for him to go back if he continued to think there was a problem. Still wondering if they were even placebo drugs as he never had a leaflet etc with then.

Oh well Had better go and get the DC sorted friends round for a few glasses/bottles of vino later

I will also be a strong and independent woman. I know i can.