Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Hello, didn't want to let the evening pass by without wishing a fabulous Saturday night to those of you out on dates - Beauty, have a wonderful time, I hope he makes you laugh as much as before and treats you like the best thing since sliced bread. Loobie, how lovely that he's staying over and you're going shopping tomorrow, he sounds dead keen - have a whale of a time, you too Fluffy

Starting - I'm impressed by your cunning, thinking of more jobs. It's win/win isn't it ? - the house gets sorted and you get eye candy.

I've spent the day making fascinators for our Christmas do ( Moulin Rouge - I will be making an appearance as an elderly streetwalker ) - this has been excellent occupational therapy as it has prevented me from wallowing in self-indulgent misery and stuffing chocolate in my gob.

Ifyou'rehappy, no date or painter for me either - look on the bright side, errrr, no need to leg-shave ? no chance of getting a text of an erection ? ( I know, sorry, it's the best I could do ).

And ' tits are for little boys ' ! - tits is all I have and believe you me they're going to be cantilevered to about 5 cms below my chin at my Christmas party in an effort to distract from my non-Beyonce style legs.

Ah Caramela nice post, laughing at the cantilevering!

The main problem I have, Ifyourehappy, is that Bollock Face was supposed to be escorting me to the party ( and shagging me both before and after the festivities but I'm trying to avoid thinking about that ) and lacing me into my corset, now sans BF, I will have to get one of the kids to do it and pay for their future psychiatric care or ask my neighbour (female). The good news is that I have established that bap escape is not possible.

From what you're saying Caramela it's his loss not yours. He doesn't deserve them

Evening Dumplings, hope the dates are going well for Beauty, Loobie & Fluffy. Hope all the other dumplings stuffing chocolate or getting inebriated are enjoying themselves. I'm relaxing with older dd watching xfactor, recorded it so we could watch it in peace after 2 younger dc's went to bed. I've already eaten 3 of those chocolate cakes that you heat in the microwave & feeling slightly queezy.

House is looking fab anyway. It's the weirdest thing, I've been friends with painter through a club we're both involved in but now I'm seeing him in a complete different light. It's like he's part of the family, I'll really miss him when he's gone. He really likes the dc's & is great with them all. He is the complete opposite of xh, xh was loud, flamboyant, extravagent, flashy, high flying successful business man... painter is v shy unless you know him well, a bit subservant, mostly living from wk to wk I'd say.

So the million dollar question is would I be even mad to consider going there?? I think I know him too well & I don't think he's the type to assume the role of eager puppy. We are coming from complete opposite ends in regards to social backgrounds. I know he would be afraid to instigate anything over this, so should I drop a few hints or am I losing the run of myself??

Loobie, I'm so of you getting to spend a full night with a man in your bed...

Caramela, "cantilevered" you've outdone youself . His absense will give you the opportunity to persue new conquests.. You go girl!!

Waves at Ifyourhappy.

Got another text from Mr Penis tonight, obviously it being Sat night & all, he doesn't give up does he...

Hi, mine 'forgot' apparantly He sent me a text at 6 appologising and begging forgiveness, I have yet to reply.

I have now deleated the toad off my facebook account.

Give it a shot starting, what have you got to loose?

Good for you caramela Be careful though, they mostly attract little boys

Ah Fluffy, sorry to hear that. It's awful to be cancelled/stood up like that. That he forgot doesn't sound good but if he's really keen I'm sure he'll keep texting or try to set up another date. Maybe faith is keeping you single until you get to meet up with the dishy Dr again?????

, well, I've asked to be moved back at that hospital for the next three weeks, I'm supposto be in one about 20 miles away from home and it's a sod to get to, meaning 12 hour days. I'm recovering from a relapse of MS at the moment so not really up for it yet, it wouldn't be safe for the patients, it also has hot doctor potential

He does sound like shite, it'll leave it and see what happens. Had to go and see the toad, I don't think he realised I've ditched him, he said hello, I replied then ignored him. I just don't have anything to say (not at all like me). Had a crap evening, took ds to see a classical music concert and had abuse from the old fart in front (I did a moaning thread).

How are you?

Ah Fluffy, sorry to hear you had a crap evening aswell. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Sorry also to hear about the MS, hope you're back in good health soon. The hospital sound promising...... good hunting ground. I don't blame you for having nothing to say to twatface in the shop, he treated you apallingly. I'd ignore him completely from now on.

I just feel like he led me on. He started off wanting to get to know me, wanting to spend time with me, saying he'd wait for me (I've been single for a long time) then he backed off a little, using excuses (I'm stressed at work/homesick etc) and all the time it was because he claims he saw me as a friend at this point but he couldn't be bothered to tell me until I was ready to try, then he say's just friends but still flirts. Now he's flaunting his girlfriend in my face. He has no idea how much it took for me to say 'OK, lets try and see what happens'. Wanker! I was single because of tossers like him.

He does sound like a proper wanker but we've all been at the receiving end of those, hense we're on this thread. You need to dust yourself down & relaunch yourself again.

I am, there's a real lack of real men out there though. I need to find myself a nice Italian bloke

There is deffinately a lack of quality men around. I lived in Italy for 6/7 yrs, I'm probably generalising a bit but the men can be v immature & tempermental due to the molycuddling they get from Mammy!!! Like everywhere, there are some good ones but they're harder to find!!!

There's got to be some somewhere. Where are they all??

Hello Ladies!

I have nothing thrilling to report. Womaniser texted at 6.30pm: "Still at work on this foul [it was raining] night. May be an ickle [!!!!!!] bit late. Am offering you the olive branch alternative of cancelling. Otherwise I'll be there as near to 8 as I can."

I was so confused, I had to ring my (feisty) Mum. She got me to send, "No problem! Let's cancel"

He shot back, "Sure?" I replied, "Positive", he said "OK".

I then sobbed on the sofa! But dried eyes, ordered curry and "The September Issue" on Sky box Office and had a great time.

On someone else's advice, I texted W today: "Such a shame about last night but hope you sold lots of bikes". He replied, "Just the one. Do we always arrange to meet on nights from Lord of the Rings battle scenes? Was horrible out there. Settled for telly"

So - great! I was chucked because it was raining! This is a new high in my dating career. What's next, "Hello darling, let's not get married today, I've got a cold coming"?

Have one more Match man wanting to meet, then I'll really done this time. He is 40, NMNK, did Emglish at Oxford (swoon) and thinks I am funny and "intriguing". (Don't know how he got into Oxford, then.) He has suggested meeting and I agreed.

In meantime, am decluttering house and framing up loads of pictures/paintig/illustrations I've had lying around for ages.
The End!

Hi all...thought i'd check in/update.

Friday was supposed to be out with football coach but as no firm plans were really made and i'd not chatted to him much during the week, i didn't contact him and therefore date didn't happen - to be fair i just couldn't be bothered!

Last night met with nice local man for a drink. He did seem nice, my type i think looks wise, very very talkative and a bit loud (he even said he gets a bit carried away when enjoying himself so just tell him to calm down if he got too loud!). Now here comes the but......I think I may have turned into a bit of a snob. He was out of work for 4 years, got a job at a local charity shop in August working 16hrs a week and has suffered quite badly from depression in the past but been 'ok' for about 3 years (still on meds). Am not sure if this puts me off a little along with a few other things (he did talk ALOT) but it is there in my head iyswim?

I know this probably sounds really awful and maybe I am expecting too much?? In my head, I'd like a guy who I click with, is amazing, blah, blah, blah, but someone I could go off and do things with, like concerts, nights out etc (of course I would pay my way, am not expecting to be a kept woman) and think would be a bit worried re his illness getting worse. But that is horrid right? Would I think the same if he said he had cancer? And he was quite brave I guess to tell me this on a first date. He also admitted that he cancelled on me a fortnight ago because a)he was having a 'down' week, and b) because he was a bit scared re this dating lark (been single nearly 6 years).

I don't know if I'm just used to being on my own now with the dcs and having ideas above my station about who would be 'good enough' for us?

I'm just a bitch right? I mean, I think he's the type of guy who would be lovely to have as a friend. But he's asked to take me out to dinner next time I'm free........and gave me a nice kiss when I left. I dunno!!

Forgot to add....as a friend, someone with depression wouldn't bother me and I would supoort them as much as I could. But in turn, that wouldn't really have an impact on my family life in anyway, but being in a relationship with someone who suffered from this would....but then again maybe i'm making too many excuses.

MuthaH - I'd say go with your gut and do whatever makes you happy on this one. Whatever you decide will be right and whichever way, I wouldn't dwell on it too much.

Beauty - thrilling maybe not but interesting nevertheless. I continue to aspire to do what you are doing (when it goes well anyway)

Fluffy - sorry to hear that the evening didn't work out as planned. Look after yourself and hope you're feeling better soon.

StartingOver - hard to say on the painter (it's making me think of that guy in Desperate Housewives - remember him?). Could be fun to dabble just for fun if you think that would work?

Blimey, I'm desperate for attention. Not for anything serious as that sounds scary but just for some fun!

Ah Beauty, that is shite. What is wrong with these men (Fluffy had the same)!! Hopefully Loobie will come back with some positivity that'll give us all hope.

Mutha, some others will probably come on here & be more politically correct than me but from where I'm coming from, history of living with x's depression, mood swings, addictions, ending in major mental health problems, I'd say run a mile!!! If he'd to cancel you 2 wks ago because he was having a bad wk then he is obviously not "ok".

I think the least we all deserve is someone we click with, who's normal i.e. no major issues lurking, and who will treat us in the manner we deserve.......let's all hold out for that!!

Hi Ifyourhappy, oh I'd love some fun too!! I'm just going to see what happens next wk, have decided I'm not going to push anything. Was thinking of asking him out for a chinese as a thank you when he's finished but having slept on it I think I'm getting slightly carried away just because he's male, decent, trustworthy & single!! It's amazing how my expectations have been lowered from x, now anyone who's decent & trustworthy is a major catch!!

Mutha, you don't sound awful at all, I have to agree with Startingover, as someone whose father had mental health problems which impacted a great deal on the rest of us, I have to say that I wouldn't voluntarily enter into a relationship with a man like that. I like to think that I'm a pretty compassionate person - I have 2 friends who suffer from clinical depression and will support them to the ends of the earth but my dad's health was a hugely corrosive factor in our family life - maybe you deserve someone with fewer complications at the moment.

Startingover, I think the painter sounds lovely ( I've a weakness for slightly shy men). It can't hurt, can it, to go out for a Chinese with him ? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. With regards to penis texter, I was once told ( at work by an old-school colleague ) that you should administer a sharp tap with a pencil to the tumescent member of an over-enthusiastic patient to make it deflate - seems to be PPT is in need of a tap to his little friend.

Fluffy sorry to hear about your problems with MS. The more I hear about Toad features, the more immature and wanky he sounds - I cannot abide the whole vacillating thing. I hope work provides some top totty to take your mind off it ( I feel like asking what job you do but I'm not sure if it goes against MN etiquette or not ).

Beautiful, 'ickle', fucking 'ickle' ?- First up against the wall when the revolution comes. What's the matter with the twazzock, did he not want to get his hair wet ? Kerrrristt - I am shaking my head in dismay and disgust. New Match man sounds good - HE'S NOT A LECTURER IS HE ???? Watch yourself.

Ifyourehappy - I know how you feel,a bit of attention would be very very welcome right now. At least the dog loves me ( but not in that way )

Loobie, I hope you've had/are having a wonderful time with CLGS.

Hello to everyone else, hope your weekend's been marvellous.

And finally, the Bollock Face update - 4 texts from him yesterday ( unprompted ) in which we had the most normal conversation we've had for a month - ooh marvel at Caramela being all light-hearted and casual via the medium of sms. Only slight lip quivering moment was him addressing me with the pet name that he uses for me ( don't ask, it's a bit vomit-inducing but I like it and yes, I do look ashamed of myself ).

Phew...thanks starting and caramela and if. What you say makes total sense. I'd like to think I'm rather a nice person (which is why I'm going to feel awful letting him down gentley) and the friend I have who suffers from depression says that sometimes I am a total rock to her but it is so much different helping a friend isn't it? Sorry you have both had not so brill experiences of this but you've helped me realise I'm not a right cow bag!

and yes starting - i agree that we all should hold out for the one that treats us in the manner we deserve...blooming brilliantly.

Fluffy - i do think you've had quite a lucky escape there and it's good to see you getting mad about it.

Beautiful - is womaniser actually the wicked witch of the west who melts in the rain?

Can I join in?

Just started dating again. First date editor, nice but no spark, he said he would like to see me again but never got in touch again. Second date doctor, interesting, intelligent, good looking, followed up by text message and will see again.

Was supposed to go for coffee with banker today but he said he would confirm today. He never called so called him and he was still away for the weekend, shame you could not let me know so I could have organised something with friends. May have been mis-communication but did find it rather rude.

Ex then dropped off little one and started on one of his 'I would do anything to have you back' (but let his family insult and mis-treat me) rants again, which made me very upset for some reason so threw him out of the house, crying. Feel annoyed with myself now for letting him get me back to me.

Not by any stretch of the imagination are you a right cow bag, you need to do what's right for you, it's not selfish, it's sensible.