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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner has gone away for a few days to a hotel with another woman

781 replies

desolate · 13/10/2009 12:25

Hi!

Is there anyone out there who can find a few kind words for me please?

I've been with my partner for four years and we've lived together for most of that. I will be 50 on 3rd November and was hoping for a surprise from my partner for my birthday. The surprise has come early.

About six weeks ago I saw him making furtive mobile calls and when I checked his mobile found several late night texts saying things like "I love you so much". I asked him about it and he told me without any concern for my reaction that they were from a woman he had dated 10 years ago and had recently refound on FaceBook. They'd met up since. He said that she was in the process of a divorce.

He's been getting behind at work recently so I've spent a few weekends helping in the office and I found a letter from her in which she said that she was staying with her husband (2nd one) because her kids needed to stay at their school but hoped N would wait for her. She said that fate had brought them together again and there was lots of undying love stuff.

I decided to do my best to repair my relationship and asked him what his plans were. He said he didn't know and was confused. I asked if he had plans to see her again soon and he said probably not.

He came home last night and said that our relationship was over and that he was heading off today to treat her to a hotel stay till Sunday, when he will come home, so that they could see how they got on - her husband thinks she's gone to see a girlfriend.

My world has fallen apart. Does anyone have a kind word for me or any advice as to how best to navigate such a painful situation. I will be really grateful. Thank you.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 18/05/2010 21:47

sgb...that's what we all tried to tell her

at first, nicely

as the thread progressed, more and more plainly

she never listened (if it was real)

OneTwoBuckleMyShoe · 18/05/2010 22:03

Who nicked the last Jammy Dodger?

AF I am looking at you...

AnyFucker · 18/05/2010 22:09

nhshggf fgggnngf

< hides crumbs >

tweetymum · 01/06/2010 04:08

I am bored, any updates on this thread?

Better than a soap opera Not that I am being unsympathetic at all, mind... not me, oh no!

PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 04:54

SGB, I think he pops round to visit her in her new gaff every now and again.

feelingafailure · 01/06/2010 05:15

wot for a bit of the other.poor women would be mad to accept that as well.wouldnt know what u might be catching.KEEP AWAY ROM HIM WOULDNT EVEN OPEN THR DOOR TO HIM.WOT A HE IS.

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