OK, I didn't last long either, but desolate, I've followed this from the outset, and somehow I do still feel for you.
LOL, you do need me to come over and give you a bit of a shake though!
"I have said that I will collect my things on Saturday; I am hoping that it will be as amicable as possible. I just want to put it all behind me now."
Ok so assuming that he is OK with the Saturday collection thingy, GO FOR IT. Remember this though. You are going over to remove your things, if you think you will find it hard, please get a man and a van to help you. Then all you have to do is say to him, that's mine, that's mine and so is that. The man will then load up your car/van whatever.
I would suggest that you do not attempt to have too much of a conversation with Neil.
Frankly, and I mean this in the best possible sense, he just wants to see the back of you.
He would, if given an opportunity of an unanaesthatised amputation instead of meeting you and going through stuff, gladly opt for the hacking off of a limb. I feel he DID treat you abysmally when all this started, but instead of tossing your hair and leaving, you chose the oh so repellant limpit approach. Now I dare say that he can't abide the sight of you.
This is your last chance, the very laast one you will ever have of coming out of any of this with any shred of dignity.
If you cry, try and talk him round, try and carry on like you are still involved, attempt a tug at his heart strings, it's likely that he may lose it and yell or scream at you. You don't need to go through anymore than you already have done.
Your aim this weekend is one, singular objective. To dispassionately remove your belongings from the flat you used to live in.
Stay cool, stay calm and stay focussed. If you make the tiniest drama, it will be something you will regret and look back on in utter despair.
PLEASE desolate, read this thread from start to finish, we have ALL, told you to get out when he was in the hotel. WE told you this, not for the good ouf our health, but for you, one of us, our sister. There by the grace of God and all that.
Look to God if you have to, He has sent you this for a reason. Time will tell, and you will see that there is better for you around the corner. BUT, none of it will come to you until you let go and get on with your life. Hold you head up high, fake it if you have to, but just go quietly.
My greatest fear for you dear desolate, is that in time, you will look back on this and cringe at everything that went on, that you will berate yourself for hanging on, for putting yourself, and the person you once loved, though all this. For what? 3 of the most deeply unpleasant months of your life.
Perhaps you do need some help in getting over this, and we're still here for you, inspite of everything. You do, I believe have a counsellor, keep that up, just to get you over all this, but FGS, try and sit yourself down and put in a plan for the next few weeks, month etc. Make yourself a new life, one that you are happy with yourself, proud that you survived this dreadful saga, and give thanks to God that you do have a roof of your own, over your head. Many women here go through similar to you and don't have anywhere to go.
So, this is the deal. There is ONE more desolate post to go on this thread. The one where you tell us you are in full possession of your stuff, and that it is all finally over and behind you. Then, that's it, step away from the thread, step away from the past and start a new thread. Desolate's road to recovery. Use it as your blog, daily if you need to and tell us about the little things you do each day, your plans, hopes and dreams for 2010 and beyond.