I remember your old thread too and I agree your DH's parsimony is not the real issue here at all.
I have seen something similar happen with acquaintances I used to know. Despite her being a bright, intelligent woman who had much to offer a workplace, she bought into the whole SAHM thing while HE earned a fortune. They had a very old-fashioned marriage where he gave her an allowance. He didn't seem mean with the allowance and she could spend it more or less as she saw fit, but I remember he used to joke in that irritating way about her spending habits. To be honest though, she was equally irritating in a Hyacinth Bucket type of way - everything had to be "done properly" and she was pretty critical of others' slovenly ways.
I noted that everything seemed to be about appearances - and that there was zero passion or intimacy in the way they communicated with eachother. Most of the time, they seemed to treat each other with thinly disguised contempt. Hence, they were not easy company and their life was a million miles from ours, so it never developed into a friendship.
If I'm honest, I just couldn't relate to her values or lifestyle. She also seemed a bit brittle iyswim. In the end, I concluded that all this "appearances" nonsense was masking deep unhappiness, but I wasn't close enough to gently probe if that was the case - and I suppose my DH and I decided that we didn't want to get that close either.
I've always earned my own money but our approach has always been that money goes into a single pot and we make buying decisions jointly. It's all relative too - it wouldn't occur to me to ask DH if I bought 6 wine glasses from M&S, because a spend like that would be proportionate to our income. On your family income, it shouldn't be a big deal to buy at John Lewis or Harrods.
Your situation reminds me of those acquaintances, except you've told us what I suspect this woman might have done if she'd had the opportunity.
In a nutshell, it really doesn't sound as though you are getting anything out of this relationship, other than financial support and status. I've no idea how old you are, but life's too short to spend with a man you appear to hate, with no sex and outside stimulation. None of us can say on here where all this contempt started - and not resorting to name-calling does not mean you aren't guilty yourself of displaying contempt incidentally. You might say it's justified, but I'd wager that you're being equally contemptuous, just in different ways.
If leaving this marriage is not an option for you, then all you can both do is try to make it better - and really commit to that jointly. Perhaps ask him what HE's getting out of this marriage - and whether it's meeting his needs too. And in the same conversation, tell him what your REAL needs are. Glassware and cutlery shouldn't feature in this conversation at all.
It's too simplistic to say that your H is getting his needs met by having the trophy wife, the big house and the external indicators of success. There's not much there to feed the soul - and so he's either having those needs met elsewhere, or he's as unhappy as you. Men and women both need intimacy, so in that sense, you're probably both in the same boat.