Toxic Dad – sorry a bit complex

[twoteachers]

DH and I have been married for three years now. We are both teachers and as we live roughly half way between our two sets of parents we see them about the same number of times per year. Suddenly my parents have announced that they are planning to move to the town where we live but without giving us any obvious reason why. It very much seems to be Dad?s idea and I don?t think Mum is that keen.

I had a very difficult relationship with Dad when I was living a home. Sometimes he was violent, sometimes there was some ?accidental? but inappropriate touching and really we just didn?t get on from when I was 14 to 22. I don?t want him back in my life more than he is a present. I still feel a bit uneasy being on my own with him and he makes my flesh crawl if he even touches me socially.

Neither DH or I know what to do.

Hi TT. Have just read the whole thread and want to join the others in saying what an inspirational, courageous and strong woman you are! Well done for standing up to your parents, and thank you for updating the thread over time. As barbiegrows says, documenting your journey in this way will help many other people.

I am so please to hear that the future is looking bright and many of your demons have been laid to rest! And don't worry if one or two of them pop their heads back up from time to time, it's to be expected. You'll be able to able to recognise them and put them back in their place.

Your DH & his family sound wonderful. They must be incredibly proud of you.

Well done!!

:)

More rousing applause and standing ovation from here. My God you are some woman. I have never read anything like this in my life. Your story took my breath away. Your courage stands out above everything else in this story.
I wish you a long and happy life with your DH xx

It has been too long. I'm fine, I don't have any contact with either of my parents and I don't suppose I ever will now. Last year I did "boast" that I was cured, well it's nearly true. Some really strange things still trigger feeling of (mild) panic. DH touching my bottom is one. Anywhere else (yes anywhere) is fine and normal but my bottom is practically a no-go area for him. I have my Dad to thank for that. I pop in to the site about once a month without posting but today I thought "time for an catch-up".

I have just read this thread, what a couragous story.

So glad you are in a much more positive place xx

I am in awe of the calm and courageous way in which you've dealt with this dreadful situation.You might want to try systematic desensitisation to address the issue you describe above. I hope things continue to go really really well for you.