DP is going on 'finding himself' trip to India for 6 weeks next June, can I vent?

[stellamel]

Just wanted some perspective on this! I am very new to mumsnet. Also am 18 wks preggers with DC2.

Now for his 40th B/day (March this year) DP decided he wanted to go on a sort of 'boys own' trip to India - next June (major project at work finishes then, so he should be able to get a sabbatical, he will quit if not as he hates his job anyway). DP intention is to fly out to India, buy a Royal Enfield motorbike (still made in Dehli), then ride it home to Derbyshire. We've worked out this will take approx 6 weeks - all being well, cost @ £4K (including bike) money we will need a loan for, and take him close to several conflict zones (including Afghanistan) and require him to ride through Iran.

Now aside from all these worries, plus the fact i will have a 6mth old and 4 yr old to look after (I am not the world's most confident parent!) I made a gargantuan effort to see this trip from his point of view and am now on-board with it, and am supporting his choice. However when I declined helping with the logistics, (I pointed out it wasn't something I knew anything about, and as it was his trip it was up to him to sort it out), he was a bit grumbly. I replied I felt pretty proud of myself for even excepting and being happy for him to go away for such a long time, to which he laughed and said 6 weeks wasn't a long time, it was like a summer holiday (I wish i had 6 week summer holidays!), when I said I didn't agree, he just shook his head and said I was being ridiculous - and believe it or not this is what has me annoyed , I'm still behind the trip, but am seething about him belittling what I see as a pretty good thing on my part.

Am I being unreasonable and and silly to expect him to understand that 6 weeks is a fairly long time to go away for?

Oh and he's called "Jed"

I encountered a david who hates being called dave recently. He is mid thirties and recently refused to continue dating a girl because she didn't like bowling as much as him. He could never be with someone who did not feel ten pin bowling was as important as he feels it is. She enjoyed it, just not as much as him...

pmsl at Jools Rules

OOh, I'd have him down as a David who insists on being 'Dave' meself.
'Jed' is a cracker.

david who hates dave is way weirder... I find myself calling him dave...id.... and trying not to burst out laughing...

He's Terry. Actually Jason but he thinks it's too poncey.

Two of these recent suggested names are the names of people I have been in long term relationships with

he's probably a david who wants to be called some weird cherokee name...

Like Running Pus? Or Twonking Dog?

hercules - ever been in relationships with running pus or twonking dog?

Before we were married DH really wanted to go to India, it was the one place he wanted to visit, I was the beach and book, lots of sangria type of gal.
So we went to India and Nepal on an organised trip.
DH spent almost all of India with crippling diorrhea, he hated the place.
We flew into Delhi and it is not for the fainthearted/those not on a tour tbh. We got hijacked by the taxi drivers trying to get us to go to another hotel in our taxi from the airport trying to get to the hotel booked for our organised tour.

I bloody loved it

I would dearly love to go away to find myself, but it would involve 6 weeks in some exotic spa in Fiji/Thailand tbh.

"Jed" is being an ass

He wishes he was called Jed but he is really called Michael.

Indeed.
But I didn't have any kids so no harm done.

See my origional thought was Nigel

I work with a "David" and I don't think he likes to be a "Dave" noone ever calls him that...but he's lovely

Richard=Dick

jed

My Jed?

"I made such a cock up of my DD first 6 months, I don't want to repeat that again (bad birth, BF disaster, dd cried for 6 months)"
stellamer listen to yourself. That's one of the saddest things I've read on this thread.

You did not make a cock up of the first 6 months, or the birth, or have the BF disaster on your own.

Come on, there were three of you in it weren't there? Every body's baby cries for 6 months, and BF is damn hard - you need a lot of support from your PARTNER if it's to even get off the ground.

Do you think your DP was too busy drawing up offloading responsibility charts, with his talented and brilliant mind, to help you out? What a busy busy bee he is! How his mind whirls.

Listen, have a good read of this thread, and please be responsible for your own health, and of your little babe and girly.
You don't need the worry of having this desertion trip looming over you - can it be postponed so that you all can go and all have fun together as the Family that you are?

If the answer to that is no, well then perhaps the Taliban / loose rocks on the road / infected broken limbs with no chopper to get him to a hospital for surgery and antibiotics / amoebic dysentery / AK47 / mortar attack / imprisonment / youTube special / will help you in more ways that you thought possible.

I'm sorry that your dP up his own arse, you deserve better, much, much better than this boy.

So what are you planning for your holiday from him, eh? 6 weeks sounds like bliss - fancy, no haggling over the feeding charts (and you can use the same ones as last time).

purpleduck - your david is not leaving for a year's sabbatical of cycling round europe on 1st august is he?

I think Jed is actually Jeremy

This is a massively dangerous and selfish plan.

the dave....id I know is very lovely too but terribly, terribly strange. Bless him. I would never wish him on anybody as a boyfriend though!