FAB & GLAM 10 - Gosh, Do We Really Talk That Much???

[Dumbledior]

Hi, new thread

Lovely to see all the old posters again. Don't go now you are back.

Annie/UC/MHIS - lovely to see you and thanks MHIS for the FB chat.

Thanks TFM

Slugs - collect em and donate them to twatmen

we have a couple of chickens so i direct the slugs and snails in their direction . Although at the moment the chucks are digging holes in my flowerbeds so they may have to locked away again for a while.

Hello girls! Long time no see.

TFM - Glad the bunny is back and you seem so much stronger. Isn't messing with mail illegal? Maybe a solicitor letter...?

Baffy - Lovely to see you. I am sorry about the marriage, but it must be good to finally have it properly settled. You can now move on - tell us about the date please

Tanee and HW - I am determined to get together with both of you SOON.

CnC - Nice to have you back

Annie - You do make me laugh!

All others - sorry not to specifically mention you but my brain is not what it was.

I have so much going on in my life at the moment that I feel completely dazed. I have been accepted back as a WW Leader and the training is going to take up all my 'please can you babysit' cards for the next two millenia. Once it is all over though, I will be able to be in more of a routine. I have lost over 4 stone now, although I still have about 10lbs to get to goal. Because I was a Leader in the past, she is happy to put me through the training now.

We are having problems with ds at the moment - which is making me feel like a terrible parent. Too long to explain, but my counsellor tells me that I must not always take ALL the blame! Easy to say hey!

Anyway, I am off to help with the school's 21st birthday party this pm, so just wanted to catch up.

I will try to log in more regularly in future, if only so that I don't have to spend 10 hours catching up!

Dior/Givenchy - congrats on the WW Leader post and the 4st weight loss You seem to have achieved that in quite a short space of time - though I bet it has seemed an eternity to you.

No actually, it has gone really quickly tbh. I am glad that I started, otherwise I would be another stone or two heavier

so is H happy now then, or has he found something else to criticise, hope its the former

Well done Dior!! A massive well done! you seem so much happier, it shines through in your posts! Keep up the good work!

Eugh! Can we ban the talk of slugs and killing things please?! Putting me off my rioja!!

Dior, great to see you. You sound like you're doing amazingly well. And I hope ds is ok the way I see it, if you are taking all of the blame on yourself and speaking to a counsellor, you're clearly doing everything you can to work through the problem and put things right. I'm sure you'll get there. I hope you're ok.

Thanks for all the good wishes about ds I had a couple of good nights where he literally just fell asleep after his milk. Tonight, he wasn't particularly tired so had his milk then stood straight back up. I only lay him back down once, and he settled himself and drifted off to sleep without a murmur!!
Well, it's been an absolutely exhausting week (hence me about to go to bed at 9.30 on a Saturday night!), and I still have the odd blip through the night when I have to find every ounce of strength to persevere, but I think it's working

And all without any help from that arse!!

As for the date... there's no news really. Guy from work, same age as me and who's actually quite handsome, heard via some friends in work that I was 'single'. Not sure how much he knows to be honest, don't think it's very much. But he sent me an email and said would I fancy going out for a drink sometime...
Part of me would love to but it's just not the right time just yet. Nice to be asked though!

And if there is a meet up on the cards then I would really love to come.

McD - yes, he is more attentive. Still quite controlling in many ways, but I deal with it differently now that I have more confidence.

Haha, all the anti slug stuff has had me snorting at work. The interns must be wondering why I'm suddenly finding casework so much fun . I have a friend who used to collect the snails and throw them onto her neighbour's garage roof. Trouble is, snails have a homing instinct, so they probably slimed their way back again...

I don't seem to have noticed too much snail slug damage this year. Am hoping my 'live and let live' approach is working, and that my neighbour's frogs and hopefully, our occasional visiting hedgehog, are eating their fill.

Dior, great about your weight loss. We won't recognise you when we meet.

so... when are we meeting? Would be great to do something during the summer. Especially if we can meet up with TFM at last .

DD enjoyed Glasto after all. One of the Aussies seemed quite keen on her, but she said they were all druggies so she didn't encourage him too much. Her friends got heatstroke so she wandered around a lot on her own, which she preferred. I picked them up at a SENSIBLE bus stop on the home journey. Next time, they're going to let the train take the strain! I'm still expecting to get some awful fine for erratic driving!

Well, I've booked our joing GP appointment for next Wednesday, and told DP this morning. He didn't say he wasn't coming, but then, he'd be a fool not to, as he's noticed that I'm sometimes up, but frequently down. I was in a vile mood last night - combination of heat, a glass of wine that went STRAIGHT to my head despite being half ice cubes, and not getting any attention at all from him due to the football/tennis, not even when I was humping 4 bags of garden prunings through the house for recycling collection (that's me going into martyr mode . He said he'd join me in the garden 'in a minute', then spent the whole evening sitting in the dark watching sport. I can't bear sitting indoors when the weather's so warm, which is possibly why I've not followed Wimbledon since 1973. This morning DP said, 'we'll talk tonight' - well, I'm not holding my breath...

Heatstroke at Glastonbury? What is this untraditional nonsense? Can't be a proper festival if it didn't bucket with rain.

Hmph, if the "talk" includes him weaselling out of the GP appointment, best that he should do the holding of breath.

Aghhhh - my sister saw that twat that I once called my husband out with another girl!!!

Of course, I believed him this time when it really wasn't about anyone else it was just that he couldn't be the husband I deserved, couldn't get past what he'd done, had become to selfish blah blah blah...
Yes, I know I'm a knob.

Why oh why do I even care

I think I have a serious problem. I was coping fine when it was over because we were over. It couldn't work, it wasn't working and we had to walk away.

Now I think he's left because of another woman again, and I swear if I find out it's true I will cut his balls off myself.

Why do I even care?!?

p.s. Tanee good luck - I hope everything's ok and he does go to the appointment x

You're not a knob. He's a knob. You're... still too trusting, honey Although it's possible that he found one instantly rather than having one already on the go, as it were.

Well it was over because it couldn't work and you had to walk away. The reason why it couldn't work is that he just can't keep it zipped for five minutes.

Hurry up and get divorced so you can date a proper man, do! And don't be too generous with the finances.

Thanks Annie x

(have definitely learnt my lesson re the finances - need to work on being less trusting next! hate the fact that I need to face up to that, love my little bubble where everyone is as genuine as me and can actually learn from mistakes, but hey ho...)

Yeah, life would be great if everyone was honest and kind. We have some very pleasant Jehovah's Witnesses who come round for a chat every third or fourth Saturday and discuss how the world ought to be and why it isn't. They say it's Satan's doing. I say that's a cop-out; we are responsible. It's no good blaming some passing serpent. (I'm not that blunt with them though, it would be unkind.) Still, as parents we all do our best to bring the next generation up with our values, and meanwhile we try to spread a little niceness with our own example (a very lazy example in my case, but at least I try to say the right things and not do anybody down).

The silly man would be a lot happier if he looked for long-term gratification in good partnership, good parenthood and responsibility. But he'd rather grab whatever he fancies for quick jollies. His loss in the end. Betcha he comes crawling back in a few months time, when the latest toy's novelty has worn off (and when he needs an injection of cash). Then it will be time to be a wee bit harsh. There's a thinnish line between being kind and forgiving, and letting yourself be taken for a mug. I don't think he's worked out the difference yet, but I hope you have.

Baffy, you are not a knob - you are a lovely, trusting, loving woman and he never deserved you. He's just shown his true colours - yet again - and seems determined to follow the same path. Let him go and good luck to the new GF! Of course it hurts, you must feel he took you in all over again. All it proves is that HE's a knob, a moral and emotional coward and you are well rid. Wave Goodbye to Twatman3 and Hallo to lovely new Baffytime!

Ooh, a wicked thought: I wonder how his new woman will handle it when she finds she's also inherited psycho ex-bit-on-side with added baby factor?

Baffy of course you care - he has been a huge part of your life for a very long time and the fact that he has to go and have some fun (whether before he left or not) just shows you that he was never really that sad about you two parting anyway was he?

i think too he will be back again - once he realises that you are the 'easy' option - well you have been until now. But no more - let him stand on his own two feet from now on.

It will be hard and he will make you feel guilty probably by using the dc, but you must do it.

My friend (the one who is now very happy with her new man) found it so very hard at first - her exh has recently had a really hard time (lost his job, bad luck with car, ow not sticking by him......)Anyway he was very down on his luck in pretty much every area of his life - poor little lamb found he couldnt cope with having the dc all weekend either (what with no money to 'buy' their love). It is only because of new man that i think she has found the strength to firmly tell him what his responibilties are - he has the cheek to tell the dc that it is because she wouldnt have him back.

This hurt you are feeling will be good for you to get over him quicker - hold onto the anger and get him out of your system for good.
Thinking of you though and know you will be ok in the end.

Thanks guys. Feel a lot better about it today. Just felt so mad at myself for being sad.

In fact he was here before to see ds1 and I just can't bare to be around him anymore. I stayed in the other room 'til he left. I just want to move away from that whole part of my life. As long as he sees the boys at the agreed time and they are happy, I really don't want to know anything else now.

If I don't make this break now I will turn around and my whole life will have passed me by while I waited for him to work out if I was enough for him! At least once the divorce is through it really is a clean break for me to move forward too. Without any guilt that I have a 'husband' in the background!

I'm sure any new gf will probably find it 'interesting' that he has a wife whom he's been with for 17 years, and incidentally is now saying again that he doesn't want to divorce, but also a psycho ex and other child from in the middle of that 17 years! Good luck to them really. I'm sure his charm will win anyone over initially. Lets hope that once that wears off he can actually find it in himself to be a decent human being and treat someone properly!
We'll see!

Baffy you sound so together - I think you have known for a long time that this is the end.

Well done and once the divorce is over he will have nothing (except the dc) to come to you for.

Be aware though that until then you could still be liable for any debts he cares to run up.

HW - good advice about the debts. Baffy, can you get some legal advice on this? So sorry to hear what he's been up to. It would have been a much more dignified end to your relationship if he'd made an effort to keep it in his trousers a while longer. His ego is obviously very weak. Yet, he still has the cheek to say he doesn't want a divorce. So he can move on, but not you? Wtf? Tbh, it sounds like you've been carrying him for a long time and he's become a mill stone around your neck. I hope the divorce will make you feel lighter and free Btw, did stbxh ever get proof that psycho ex's baby is his?

Oh Baffy. A final kick in the teeth from this poor excuse for a man
You really are well rid!
Push that divorce through as quick as you can then you can move on and be free of his antics.

'Enough for him'??? Of course you were...well, to a normal man you would have been. I don't think any woman would be permanently enough for him.

Re the new woman - he could have met her the night before. He could have been with her as a friend. Try not to read anything into it unless you see it for yourself. People mean well when they tell you these things, but they don't always get it right.

Baffy, so he's trying to stall the divorce - again! But you've been here before, with him trying to keep his options open. We know you won't fall for it again .

Dior, here's a thing, I dreamt about you last night (no, not THAT type of dream despite your very attractive hairy biker beard!) Just that I was having dinner with you and complimenting your amazing weight loss. We must have that lunch date soon!

Hi everyone else, two days to our doctor's appointment. Am going to remind DP tonight and hope he won't pull out. Just recently he's done silly things after his usual two bottles of wine and not had any memory of them the next day - like spilling mayonnaise all over the floor and not cleaning it up, breaking a bowl in the sink and not rememembering how or why... Increasingly worrying now that it's affecting his memory. If he refuses help, then it really will be curtains for us as I cannot live with this disruption, even though when sober, he's sweetness and light. I want more of sober DP, the other P is getting less pleasant to live with. As for me, I'm going to ask about counselling for myself to work out why I keep falling for this type of guy.