44 messages to one number in one day - I feel sick

[LadyOfWaffle]

Dh has a contract phone, I get the bill (I got it for him). Just opened it and there is a number cropping up all over the place. Some days is a steady stream. One day is 44 messages. DH claims it must be our childminder (who only picks DS up from here, drops him at school, picks him up and drops him home again). DH hasn't text me the childminders no. yet to 'confirm'. I just don't know what to do. I called the no. and it sounds like her... but then if it is, why does he text her so much? SHe wouldn't look at him twice, and is getting back with her husband. DH has been very nasty the last 2 days from nowhere. He hasn't been like this for years. I don't know what to do

thats really sad LOW, he's really playing you here, I bet your a normal, nice girl who's been bullied and over shadowed by your dh for years and now you feel shy and under his thumb

leave him, get advice, have your own life with your kids not following his orders

and remember, the cm sounds like a bitch, but don't lay all the blame on her, maybe she's falling for his shite too, its your dh your married to and him who's to blame here

He has told me off for daring to offload on a friend (wife of his friend) which includes horror of horror talking about his cuntish family.

He wont want you "off loading" because he knows that he is out of order.

is there a reason you need a CM to take DSs to nursery? Are you working? I areally think you need some solid advice here because one day, this guy is going to leave you. He can't handle his responsibilities. Then the whole house thing will be taken out of his hands. What does he do for a living? What do you do? You need some legal advice, i would think that if you leave him, yes, you probably wont keep the house, but you will be able to rent until you get yourself back on your feet. You will get benefits, you need to find out about these things.

But, If i were you, id find out sooner rather than later.

LOW I have been reading your thread and it is so sad. I am sorry to act mysterious but I name-changed recently, you have extended an offer of friendship to me in the past and I felt too shy to take you up on it... I get clumsy and awkward with new people, I am Chandler from friends, or Phoebe when she meets Mike's parents... anyway, I am nearby-ish in Reading and if I can do anything to help you I will.

I text my DP what feels like a lot in the day, he commutes so I need to know he arrives at work (paranoid) then a few more before we see each other again in the evening, anyway it FEELS like I spend a lot of time texting him but it's never more than 15 in a day, that would be excessive even... even if a few of those were longer so used more than one text it's never going to be above twenty... and that's my DP not a mate or another man... it IS a big deal, more so that he is saying it's not... I don't know your history but from what lulu and others say it doesn't sound good

The money stuff doesn't really matter, it is never a reason to stay, have you any idea how much -ve equity you are talking about?

I meant, taken out of your hands.

The childminder is LYING

He's grabbed some things and gone again had me chasing down the street like a fool again but drove on Strongness last long , eh? Now back to window watching.

so's her dh

don't blame all this on the cm, she's not married to the op!

let him go lady, you deserve much better

I am a SAHM, CM takes DS because I do not drive yet and it's too far to walk.

Again he has left me with no money, little food... WTF does he think is going to happen?

have you anyone you can phone?

other people shouldn't have to provide for his kids.

i do have my mum etc. but still

you need support and someone to talk to

have you considered leaving him and what you'd do? could you go to your mums until you get another place?

Lovie, please.

Let that be the last time you chase after him in any way.

You are a strong woman who knows her own mind and what is right. He is a dick who wants to control you so has convinced you you are not.

Lock the door, get yourself a relaxing evening and then tomorrow tell him he explains exactly what is going on or it is over.

Fucking hell. What a fucking cokshite. Really.

How DARE this man try and lay all his ills at your door?

44 texts in 1 day to anyone IS excessive - I have never even sent DH that many when he's been away. I am guessing that your CM is drop dead gorgeous and your H has let you know that he thinks she is? I am guessing that you don't think your H would be attractive enough for her? He obviously warned the CM that you knew about the texts and they concocted a story to try & cover their tracks. I will say it again, whatever her involvment with your H, it is entirely inappropriate in a professional relationship.

I am so sorry this cockwipe is putting you through this LoW. I know we haven't really 'spoken' before, but I have seen lots of your posts & always remember the photo of you doing x/c on your horse. Reminds me of myself several years ago (when I still had the guts to do that!!).

I am not an advocate of 'LEAVE HIM, LEAVE HIM', but I am finding it really hard to understand how you would be better off with him than without.

Ok, another typo . That was cockshite. Obviously

LOW So sorry your going through this, IF this is as innocent as your DH and CM have said then why has he taken things this far ( I agree with you he sounds very immature)I mean all you did was ask quite rightly so why he has text CM 44 times in one day! It sounds like you are a lovely person who has been hurt badly in the past and he should understand this and not totally play on your emotions when all you were asking for was a bit of reassurance, I do agree with the others that you sound like you could do a lot better for yourself than him playing these silly games for you.

Dear god, it's like you are living in a prison. he knows how much you depend on him and when he thinks you are out of line he slaps you down and tells you that you are mad in order to undermine your confidence. I would be very, very depressed if I had to live with that prick.

The childminder is probably a good liar - NOBODY needs to exchange 44 texts in a day, or 16 another. When does the woman find time to actually look after the children in her care if her thumb is constantly busy?

I'd say that she is having somethnig with your H in order to get back at her own husband. And maybe your H has been in a bad mood the last few days because she told him to screw off as her H was returning? If you can get hold of his phone, buy a SIM card reader. Other mumsnetters have recommended these - about £40 but could save you wasting years of your life on the twunt.

whats a sim card reader?

still holding onto the hope he's parked up & will be back any min [pathetic]

really trying though

going to my mums is really not an option - she can be very nasty, ... really not an option. I'd rather a bedsit

Sorry you are going through this LOW

Make sure you cancel the sim card, you don't want to be paying for him contacting that floosey.

Stay strong and dn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he has hurt you. selfish twat.

Hope you are ok xxx

Don't waste youe money on a sim card reader, you have already wasted enough of yur life on this loser, he has treated you bad in the past and lacks respect for you.

You deserve so so much better, your are gorgeous and are lovely, certainly helped me through a very tough time, please don't let this tosser grind you down any more xxx