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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.

248 replies

BarbieLovesKen · 18/06/2009 12:38

I've been married 10 months now, I've been with my now dh for years.

We have a beautiful little girl who will be 4 later this year.

We built a house that we poured our heart and souls into and moved in to it two weeks before our wedding last year.

I am 9 weeks pregnant with our second baby. I had a misscarraige in February of this year.

My husband has always had his ways but comes across as extremely content, happy and satisfied with his lot in life.

Although I am aware how ridiculously naive and stupid I sound, I have laughed at women who have said what I am about to but I honestly, honestly never, ever thought he would have this in him..he had his faults but I always thought this was something I never had to worry about.

He went out Thursday night with his friends to celebrate an achievement in work. Apparantly on the way home his friend bumped into a girl he knows on the street and invited her up to his (and his girlfriends)house for karoke etc... (3am), the 4 of them went and spent hours having great fun singing etc.. the couple went to bed, my dh rang a taxi and she rang a taxi and while waiting they ended up kissing.

The b*stard then proceeded to text her all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday... he went out again Sunday night and she "happened" to be in the pub he went to so the two of them, with two of his friends had a lovely night out together, went dancing, he walked her up to her house "somewhere quite" where they kissed, he felt her fanjo, chest and she had a good feel back too.

Apparantly he didnt actually stick anything inside her as she was having her period.

(I really apologise for being so so crude)

He continued to text her Monday.. complete filth between both of them, this is how I found out, I seen some of the messages and they were all about her pssy and his cck. He had this conversation while I sat on the couch beside him and our daughter played on the floor.

I cannot put in to words how devastated I am. If not for my daughter I just wish I was dead.

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 18/06/2009 14:15

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shootfromthehip · 18/06/2009 14:15

paste- meh.

howtotellmum · 18/06/2009 14:17

but why would any man do so so blatantly- and leave his phone where all could be read?

If he did, then please say so Barbie and tell us exactly what has happened and whether youhave talked to him yet.

Rhubarb · 18/06/2009 14:18

BarbielovesKen has been a Mumsnetter for ages.

Lizzylou · 18/06/2009 14:19

Well HOwto, we may never know.
Because if I was the Op I am not sure I'd come back on here.

LovingtheSilverFox · 18/06/2009 14:19

Did your husband know this woman before? It all seems a little full on for two people who have just met.

I am not saying "troll", just asking a question.

Rhubarb · 18/06/2009 14:21

And it says on her fecking profile that she loves spending time with her "little princess".

Actually yeah, this thread has made me angry now too. Because I've seen BarbielovesKen around Mumsnet for ages, I've spoken with her on various threads, I know she's not a bloody troll.

So feck off troll-hunters and be more bloody careful next time you want to shout TROLL.

fee72 · 18/06/2009 14:21

I am new to mumsnet although have been reading some of the threads for a few days now and believed this site to be genuine with a lot of good people out there, offering good afvice to people going through crappy, shitty, horrible times! But I can tell you, after reading some of the comments today to Barbie, I wouldn't come on this site with any problems I may or may not have!

Barbie, i hope you're ok and have some genuine friends and family you can turn to during this hard time. Men are wankers!

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 14:21

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wannaBe · 18/06/2009 14:22

why should she tell you?

Why on earth, after people have been so incredibly nasty to her on this thread, should she come back and clarify anything?

Would you?

SusieDerkins · 18/06/2009 14:22

Howto - why do the details matter? Why does it matter how she found out, who was sitting where? I really don't think it's relevant.

catinthehat2 · 18/06/2009 14:23

Vinegar - eh? maybe I missed yours, but like Lizzy/Shine/poss others you were helpful and informative not offensive! I didn't know the profile was automatically generated, a few people pointed this out. Fine by me as I said. I've learned 1) about the profile generator 2) about which posters have good manners and which don't. Simples.

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 14:23

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traceybath · 18/06/2009 14:23

Blimey i so wouldn't be coming back to be interrogated by people i was hoping may offer some advice/support.

Barbie - am sure this thread is the last thing you need right now and rather hope you stopped reading it a while ago.

However if you are still reading it i'm not surprised you're beyond furious with your husband. If i were you i think i'd need a bit of time to calm down and then have a big discussion as to what the hell he was up to.

It could all be a stupid mistake/ego boost thats gone way too far or worse.

Really hope you're ok.

VinegarTits · 18/06/2009 14:24

Hope your proud of your troll hunting howtotellmum

The OP read like someone who was desperately upset to me, hence the reason why she might have left some details out of her OP

And if i did suspected it was a troll, just the mere words, 'i wish i was dead' would stop me from saying it, just incase it wasnt true

Sarasue · 18/06/2009 14:25

Whats gone on lately

fee72 · 18/06/2009 14:26

Yeh what's gone on lately?

TotalChaos · 18/06/2009 14:27

hope you are OK barbie. Would rather answer a troll infidelity thread than deal with people who post so utterly insensitively regarding another poster's probable miscarriage.

If you are still reading - have you had a proper conversation with your partner about this? does he seem at all repentant? can you accept this as a horrible one off? we can't really tell you what to - it depends on what you think is forgiveable and your partner's attitude.

fee72 · 18/06/2009 14:27

Yeh what's gone on lately?

Lilyloo · 18/06/2009 14:29

Whilst you sleuths are dredging up past threads go over to relationships , loads of affairs get caught out like this / emails etc
And many with very sordid details regardless of when / if they have known each other for one night or more, some may have not even met.

I have to say i find those questioning the validity of the op somewhat naive tbh

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 14:31

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fee72 · 18/06/2009 14:32

ok well, good to know most of you sound like you are genuine and ready to give good advice,, pity there's a few out there that have to spoil it!

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 14:37

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Rhubarb · 18/06/2009 14:38

shiney, she's not new though. She's a regular Mumsnetter. Her name is very familiar to me.

hullygully · 18/06/2009 14:39

This is how Mumsnet will end - eating itself in a wild whirl of J'accuse-itry.