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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.

248 replies

BarbieLovesKen · 18/06/2009 12:38

I've been married 10 months now, I've been with my now dh for years.

We have a beautiful little girl who will be 4 later this year.

We built a house that we poured our heart and souls into and moved in to it two weeks before our wedding last year.

I am 9 weeks pregnant with our second baby. I had a misscarraige in February of this year.

My husband has always had his ways but comes across as extremely content, happy and satisfied with his lot in life.

Although I am aware how ridiculously naive and stupid I sound, I have laughed at women who have said what I am about to but I honestly, honestly never, ever thought he would have this in him..he had his faults but I always thought this was something I never had to worry about.

He went out Thursday night with his friends to celebrate an achievement in work. Apparantly on the way home his friend bumped into a girl he knows on the street and invited her up to his (and his girlfriends)house for karoke etc... (3am), the 4 of them went and spent hours having great fun singing etc.. the couple went to bed, my dh rang a taxi and she rang a taxi and while waiting they ended up kissing.

The b*stard then proceeded to text her all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday... he went out again Sunday night and she "happened" to be in the pub he went to so the two of them, with two of his friends had a lovely night out together, went dancing, he walked her up to her house "somewhere quite" where they kissed, he felt her fanjo, chest and she had a good feel back too.

Apparantly he didnt actually stick anything inside her as she was having her period.

(I really apologise for being so so crude)

He continued to text her Monday.. complete filth between both of them, this is how I found out, I seen some of the messages and they were all about her pssy and his cck. He had this conversation while I sat on the couch beside him and our daughter played on the floor.

I cannot put in to words how devastated I am. If not for my daughter I just wish I was dead.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 18/06/2009 13:14

Lets just wait for Barbie to return shall we?

If she does, because if I was this upset and then had people trawling through my old posts and basically calling me a liar, I am not sure I would be back.

Rindercella · 18/06/2009 13:14

Yeah - fantastic sleuthing there Dogma. I am stepping away from this now and hope that Barbie gets the help and advice she needs without this fecking pathetic troll hunting.

Jumente · 18/06/2009 13:14

...and dragging up stuff about a pregnancy that ended tragically is NOT called for, and rather inappropriate.

I think you ought to apologise, Dogma - really I do.

slightlycrumpled · 18/06/2009 13:15

I don't think this is a troll either. I've seen her name around quite a bit.

barbie If you are still around, please come back and post. Hope you are okay.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/06/2009 13:15

Why does she have to be a troll? I assume that she found the texts, confronted DH who told her the details, and she has ommitted to put that in her post. Maybe she's busy with kid/throwing up/making lunch/whatever and that's why she hasn't come back yet.
I'm not saying she's definitely genuine, but I see no reason to assume she's not!

Notquitegrownup · 18/06/2009 13:16

DogMa - I read Barbie's post on that thread as her AF being due in September, therefore entirely possible to have a miscarriage in February at 20 weeks pg.

Howtotell - Barbie says that she and her dh had a conversation on the couch with her daughter nearby - after reading the texts.

poopscoop · 18/06/2009 13:16

I don't think she is a troll, barbie please respond to the replies.

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 13:17

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Portofino · 18/06/2009 13:17

Have you said anything to him since Monday? Has he continued to text? I would not be be able to stand in the same room as my DH without losing it if he had done such a thing....

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/06/2009 13:17

Give her a break - she only posted OP 35 minutes ago!!!

harleyd · 18/06/2009 13:17

this place is fucked up sometimes...everyone wanting to be the first to cry troll
ffs go read some nancy drew or something

barbie i hope you are ok and come back to some help and advice

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 18/06/2009 13:18

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GivePeasAChance · 18/06/2009 13:18

How horrible for you Barbie. Hope you can come back and post despite the obnoxiousness from some.

whoisasking · 18/06/2009 13:18

Barbie

What a dreadful, terrible shock for you.

Have you spoken to him yet?

hereidrawtheline · 18/06/2009 13:19

bloody hell pity the person who doesnt include their national insurance number in their OP! A bit of generosity wouldnt go amiss! The TTC thread - its harsh to basically accuse her of lying about a miscarriage with such little evidence! And she is clearly feeling very low anyway, what do you get out of it?

I would imagine she discovered texts, confronted DH and he confessed more details - I thought that was more plausible than just assuming it was all made up. At any rate I'd ask her the question in a nice non-confrontational way before jumping to so many conclusions and and quoting previous threads! She hasnt got major history of preposterous posts has she? I dont know I cant be bothered to research every OP I see. That is one thing I cant stand about MN people are so bloody intent on trying to be clever. Just let it be.

Dont I sound like an old hippy!

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 13:21

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BunnyLebowski · 18/06/2009 13:21

My oh my what a nasty bitter pack of bitches some of you are..

Barbie - hope you're ok. What an awful situation. Please come back and tell us how you are.

VinegarTits · 18/06/2009 13:21
Hmm
hereidrawtheline · 18/06/2009 13:22

I think if you are so emotionally invested in a web forum that it is of that much crucial importance to you to sniff out fake posts you need a break.

And to barbie
What you are going through sounds horrific, I am so sorry. Please dont let anyone here get to you and just get the help you need and deserve.

hereidrawtheline · 18/06/2009 13:23

shineon - you dont know how funny it is either I am a nasty old morrissey listener but there you go the hippy will out in all of us.

PortBlacksandResident · 18/06/2009 13:23

NQGU - i read the conversation thing as him being smutty on phone while sitting with wife and child in living room.

FWIW - his sorry arse and stinky fingers would be looooong gone .

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/06/2009 13:24

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smallorange · 18/06/2009 13:24

barbie - terrible for you. Have no experience of this and no advice but try to keep it together.

Hopefully you will get some sensible support when/if you come back.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/06/2009 13:25

Quite reality - asking what happened to the baby due in sept was quite shitty - she never said she had a baby due in sept and in fact the baby she conceived at that time died.

catinthehat2 · 18/06/2009 13:29

"BarbieLovesKen joined Mumsnet in November 2006. She lives in Ireland. She is 23. She does not have children" from profile.

"I've been with my now dh for years.

We have a beautiful little girl who will be 4 later this year" from OP

heheheheheh