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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.

248 replies

BarbieLovesKen · 18/06/2009 12:38

I've been married 10 months now, I've been with my now dh for years.

We have a beautiful little girl who will be 4 later this year.

We built a house that we poured our heart and souls into and moved in to it two weeks before our wedding last year.

I am 9 weeks pregnant with our second baby. I had a misscarraige in February of this year.

My husband has always had his ways but comes across as extremely content, happy and satisfied with his lot in life.

Although I am aware how ridiculously naive and stupid I sound, I have laughed at women who have said what I am about to but I honestly, honestly never, ever thought he would have this in him..he had his faults but I always thought this was something I never had to worry about.

He went out Thursday night with his friends to celebrate an achievement in work. Apparantly on the way home his friend bumped into a girl he knows on the street and invited her up to his (and his girlfriends)house for karoke etc... (3am), the 4 of them went and spent hours having great fun singing etc.. the couple went to bed, my dh rang a taxi and she rang a taxi and while waiting they ended up kissing.

The b*stard then proceeded to text her all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday... he went out again Sunday night and she "happened" to be in the pub he went to so the two of them, with two of his friends had a lovely night out together, went dancing, he walked her up to her house "somewhere quite" where they kissed, he felt her fanjo, chest and she had a good feel back too.

Apparantly he didnt actually stick anything inside her as she was having her period.

(I really apologise for being so so crude)

He continued to text her Monday.. complete filth between both of them, this is how I found out, I seen some of the messages and they were all about her pssy and his cck. He had this conversation while I sat on the couch beside him and our daughter played on the floor.

I cannot put in to words how devastated I am. If not for my daughter I just wish I was dead.

OP posts:
BlackEyedDogstar · 18/06/2009 13:45

what's goin on here? Catinhat- what are you all about.

seems a very straight forward and highly feasible op to me.

and very agonising problem. Hope you're ok Barbie.

hereidrawtheline · 18/06/2009 13:45

no shineon you do not deserve it.

If I were the OP I'd have run a mile - she was wanting to die. Doubt this has helped.

catinthehat2 · 18/06/2009 13:46

Lizzy - you were informative rather than scatological. Which is just fine by me!

(Shine, Lizzy - exactly my point,you were pleasant,measured & helpful)

LovingtheSilverFox · 18/06/2009 13:50

Right, I have come down off my fence, and am asking Barbie to come forward with her problem. You must be feeling like poo right now, and we haven't helped.

Do you want to stay with your husband or not? Has he since been in touch with this woman, and what is his attitude regarding what he did?

BlackEyedDogstar · 18/06/2009 13:50

well whatever cat. I do hope Barbie comes back - so many of us have found ourselves in similar positions that she might have got great support.

Niftyblue · 18/06/2009 13:51

Barbie we are listening

AbricotsSecs · 18/06/2009 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Sarasue · 18/06/2009 13:53

After reading this thread I have decided I would'nt want to post anything I was really worried or concerned about on here, some people are being so nasty, so what if it's made up. You don't have to respond. There must be some ironing you could do instead.

wannaBe · 18/06/2009 13:57

Do people really expect the op to come back? What for, more of the same? if she's been on mn since 2006 then she will no doubt know that if she comes back to clarify her posts will be ripped apart by those of you who have nothing better to do than to sit on the internet and spot what you believe to be trolls.

And in reality, if she really was a troll, does it matter? What's it to you if she is? She hasn't asked you for money has she? No thought not.

You know, mumsnet used to have a reputation for being a place where people could come for support. That reputation is fast disappearing, and it's not because of the trolls, it's because of the troll hunters.

loooouise · 18/06/2009 13:58

I certainly wouldn't post here again if I were her.

If you don't believe somebody's post, why fuel their 'apparent' lies by commenting on them? Are you own lives so pathetic that you have time to (pre) judge a stranger on the internet? Cross-referencing somebody's previous threads is particularly callous and frankly, smacks of people who have too much time on their hands.

I feel extremely sorry for you Barbie and hope you're doing ok.

Lizzylou · 18/06/2009 13:59

Barbie, I do hope that you can come back on here. Lots of MNers have had your experience (unfortunately) and can help you through this.
Please ignore all this "trollspotting", hope that you are OK.

QuintessentialShadow · 18/06/2009 14:01

Now, THIS thread has turned out to be an absolutel disgrace.

Even I am shocked at the going ons here. You lot should be ashamed.

Lulumama · 18/06/2009 14:03

maybe her DH has come home and she has chosen to talk to him, rather than update MN?

maybe she is too upset to come back after the initial

i thikn my profile says i don;t have children, i certainly have 2. otherwise, who the hell are these small , messy people living in my house !!

SusieDerkins · 18/06/2009 14:04

Daisy Goodwin would have a field day. Vipers is about right.

whoisasking · 18/06/2009 14:05

This is pretty disgusting. I certainly will not be asking for any advice in the future.

wannaBe · 18/06/2009 14:06

I have no idea what my profile says. I might have said I have a child at some point, but I don't remember doing so. I certainly haven't filled in the rest...

Rhubarb · 18/06/2009 14:08

My profile is very accurate, as you can see!

Lilyloo · 18/06/2009 14:08

I found one of the nicest things when i joined mn you could post anything and usually got a lot of advice and support , what has happened here ?
Hardly a bloody out there OP tons of them in relationships!!!

My profile says no dc's, i am in denial !!

MrsLemon · 18/06/2009 14:09

barbie - there are lots of us on here that have been or are going through similar. Please come back and chat to us. MOST of us would like to help.

Am shocked and appalled at how cruel some people on this thread are being. Is it really going to effect you so badly if you offer compassion and help to someone and then it turns out to be they were a troll?? Why are people so scared to offer to help. One could argue there are trolls on this thread - but not the OP!

Lulumama · 18/06/2009 14:10

bad timing in terms of all the trolling lately, unless you are an absolute bona fide, long standing poster, asking something mundane about waitrose or boden, you are going to soooo get a kicking.

howtotellmum · 18/06/2009 14:11

""Howtotell - Barbie says that she and her dh had a conversation on the couch with her daughter nearby - after reading the texts.""

No she didn't say that- she implied that HE had a conversation via text with this womam, while she was sitting next to her ( BArbie) on the couch.

I am querying why any man would admit to feeling another woman's pussy to his wife.

I never said she was a troll, I just wanted to clarify how she found out such detailed information- was it all in a text or has someone told her?

shootfromthehip · 18/06/2009 14:11

Barbie- could you cut and past and start a new thread and get this horrible one deleted. You can get advice that can make your life better than it seems just now.

Sorry for this mockery.

LovingtheSilverFox · 18/06/2009 14:12

Was a little frightened by the photo Rhubarb!

If Barbie is still watching this thread, please let us know you are ok.

BlackEyedDogstar · 18/06/2009 14:13

agree - start a new thread

Lilyloo · 18/06/2009 14:15

Given that OP has said he was texting her all day Friday , Saturday ,Sunday and Mondy i can imagine she got a very detailed picture of what happened
And has already said this is how she found out.
Hope your ok OP!

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