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Original poster

Masturbating wife

195 replies

SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 19:40

My wife used to like regular (at least daily) sex (before we were married and had children, who are 6 and nearly 2). In the last few years not so often.

Anyway, I have bought her a few vibrators over the years. Sometimes she uses them after sex, I think she needs more clitoral stimulation than she otherwise gets (sometimes we have oral sex first instead).

I work on computer from home and tend to work most at night (after midnight) because there are fewer distractions. Anyway, last week came back from a long walk with family. She told me she was going to bed. Her phone went off so I brought it to her, she had got her vibrator out and was about to masturbate. I asked her what she was doing, anyway she wasn't keen to have sex, but eventually said told me to go and have a shower and then come back and have sex. I did so and came back, she said she was finished already and was only joking about sex after shower, and in any case we had sex only yesterday, and she was premenstrual and just wanted to use the vibrator to make her go to sleep. I got in a mood and left and worked till about 4am. The next morning she seemed to ignore the fact I was still trying to sleep, waking me up by leaving the bedroom door open. I made a point of ignoring her for several days.

Eventually we went away for the weekend on Friday, came back yesterday night on better speaking terms (we haven't actually discussed any of the aforementioned).

This afternoon, she told me she was tired, I said 'yes me too'. Her response to this obvious hint that we should go to bed, was to tell me she was going to bed, and not to forget to pick up our son from school. When I went in to our room later, she was asleep with vibrator under her pillow.

I didn't indicate that I'd noticed, but told her that I wasn't going to cook the dinner (she'd asked me to cook before she went to bed), and she's noticed that I'm in a bad mood with her. I don't object to her having a low sex drive (although obviously it would be better for us if she didn't), but I don't think it's reasonable to eschew sex with me for masturbation. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
louii · 21/04/2009 21:10

You bought her the vibrators so what do you expect.

DwayneDibbley · 21/04/2009 21:12

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screamingabdab · 21/04/2009 21:12

I would rather poke myself in the eye with a shitty stick (this is not a metaphor), than want to "fuck all night" with someone who has taken Viagra.

DwayneDibbley · 21/04/2009 21:12

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screamingabdab · 21/04/2009 21:15

I am suspecting troll now. Sorry, not like me at all to be suspicious

onemorenomore · 21/04/2009 21:16

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Original poster
SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 21:17

You bought her the vibrators so what do you expect.

I'd prefer she'd learn to do it without any aids, but she never has, nor and she's always rebuffed my attempts to do it to her as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 21:19

sorry was also meant to put on my first post to you. I constantly masturbate, as much as I can get away with, because I just don't get stimulation from dh.

Again, what have you said to him about the lack of stimulation? And what's he done in response?

OP posts:
onemorenomore · 21/04/2009 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 21/04/2009 21:21

Someguy: what you don't seem to be getting is that you need to TALK TO YOUR WIFE and LISTEN to what she says. ALl your posts are about asking how you can make her do what you want: unless you have a previously-negotiated BDSM dynamic, sex with someone who keeps telling you what you 'should' be doing to make it better for them is not very appealing.

Rhubarb · 21/04/2009 21:22

Sorry, can I just say, what a thread title!

howtotellmum · 21/04/2009 21:24

"She doesn't. (She did before, but it was years ago) I bought some Viagra - I've got no problems in that department (I'm young) - but thought it would be interesting to try and shag all night. She wasn't keen. It had an effect on me, but she's not ever since said - 'Take some more, let's fuck all night'."

Oh dear, that sentence says it all-do you really think that is what women want?

I am wondering how much experience you had with women before you married your DW? I don't mean how many women, or how many shags, but how much real, loving sex?

You come across as a bit of a teenager. Most women do not want all-night sex- not with your husbands anyway! What they want is loving sex.

onemorenomore · 21/04/2009 21:24

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mrsmaidamess · 21/04/2009 21:25

It sounds like one of the runners in the 3.15 at Kempton.

"And fast round the final turn , its Masturbating Wife, ridden by Tony Mccoy"

howtotellmum · 21/04/2009 21:27

But wh will come first MRSM?

seriously, I think the title shows anger. He was just spitting it out wasn't he?

YanknCock · 21/04/2009 21:27

'I would rather poke myself in the eye with a shitty stick (this is not a metaphor), than want to "fuck all night" with someone who has taken Viagra.'

I second that sentiment. I'm only 32, but it's been a loooooooong time since 'fucking all night' was seen as a positive thing.

Rhubarb · 21/04/2009 21:27

But if you're after proper advice. A few things may be putting her off:

Depression.
The fact that you seem to be brushing off your part in her sex life and replacing it with vibrators (who bought the vibrators exactly? Is that not saying "I can't be arsed love so there you go?")
Depression.

Marriage isn't all about sex sex sex. Instead of trying to find out why she doesn't want sex, find out what the bigger picture is.
What's wrong? Has she lost her identity? Is she feeling taken for granted? Unfulfilled? Unyearned for? Ignored?

You are missing the main point. A low sex drive is only the symptom of a much bigger thing.
You're in big trouble if you don't make an effort to talk to her and find out what's wrong in her life.

screamingabdab · 21/04/2009 21:27

ROFL mrsmaidamess

catinthehat1 · 21/04/2009 21:31

I am impressed by the use of the word "eschew" in the OP.

I see a middle aged to elderly man, reasonably well educated, used to writing letters to the local council and the local papers, mainly about dogs crapping on pavements. He writes in green ink. He is angry. He didn't get the well paid jobs that less intelligent men got. Maybe because nobody liked him very much, or maybe because the other men were better looking. He never married, maybe because nobody liked him very much, or maybe because the other men were better looking.

He doesn't use the vernacular, just pompous sub-legal terminology. Big words. Legal words. Latin words

Eschew. Eschew. Eschew.

mrsmaidamess · 21/04/2009 21:32

Bless you

Rhubarb · 21/04/2009 21:34

Unless that's the sound of his minge munching?

Ohforfoxsake · 21/04/2009 21:35

FGS She probably wants a quick wank to get to sleep, not a marathon swinging off the chandeliers sex session. They are not comparable.

littlesilversnowbeetle · 21/04/2009 21:35

aaauuugh, fucking hell Rhubarb [crunchy cough]

BitOfFun · 21/04/2009 21:37

< snigger >

Come on SG, you've had some good advice, so what are you going to do?

howtotellmum · 21/04/2009 21:37

Yeah, I picked up on eschew too- not your run of the mill vocab. Highly articualte, but must learn to talk to wife.

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