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Original poster

Masturbating wife

195 replies

SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 19:40

My wife used to like regular (at least daily) sex (before we were married and had children, who are 6 and nearly 2). In the last few years not so often.

Anyway, I have bought her a few vibrators over the years. Sometimes she uses them after sex, I think she needs more clitoral stimulation than she otherwise gets (sometimes we have oral sex first instead).

I work on computer from home and tend to work most at night (after midnight) because there are fewer distractions. Anyway, last week came back from a long walk with family. She told me she was going to bed. Her phone went off so I brought it to her, she had got her vibrator out and was about to masturbate. I asked her what she was doing, anyway she wasn't keen to have sex, but eventually said told me to go and have a shower and then come back and have sex. I did so and came back, she said she was finished already and was only joking about sex after shower, and in any case we had sex only yesterday, and she was premenstrual and just wanted to use the vibrator to make her go to sleep. I got in a mood and left and worked till about 4am. The next morning she seemed to ignore the fact I was still trying to sleep, waking me up by leaving the bedroom door open. I made a point of ignoring her for several days.

Eventually we went away for the weekend on Friday, came back yesterday night on better speaking terms (we haven't actually discussed any of the aforementioned).

This afternoon, she told me she was tired, I said 'yes me too'. Her response to this obvious hint that we should go to bed, was to tell me she was going to bed, and not to forget to pick up our son from school. When I went in to our room later, she was asleep with vibrator under her pillow.

I didn't indicate that I'd noticed, but told her that I wasn't going to cook the dinner (she'd asked me to cook before she went to bed), and she's noticed that I'm in a bad mood with her. I don't object to her having a low sex drive (although obviously it would be better for us if she didn't), but I don't think it's reasonable to eschew sex with me for masturbation. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
littlelamb · 21/04/2009 19:45

Ignoring the obvious trip trap comment...
'I made a point of ignoring her for several days' On that point alone, you sound like an immature twat. YABU

SheWillBeLoved · 21/04/2009 19:46

Slightly. Sometimes you can't, man or woman, be bothered with sex and just want a quick relief. If you still have a reasonable amount of sex and your needs aren't being neglected in favour of her own, then I don't think she's doing anything wrong.

MadameCastafiore · 21/04/2009 19:47

Maybe you are just crap in bed?

noddyholder · 21/04/2009 19:48

fgs

Disenchanted3 · 21/04/2009 19:49

You don't want your wife to masturbate?

Theres a HUGE difference between instant gratification with a vibrator and sex with a person, worlds apart. Sometimes people just want a quick orgasm to help them sleep, theres nothing wrong with it

AND from your post you dont seem like you dont have sex ... " and in any case we had sex only yesterday, "

so you want her to have sex whenever you want to and shes not allowed to self satisfy?

YABU,

nickytwotimes · 21/04/2009 19:49
TheCrackFox · 21/04/2009 19:49

You know your wife is not telepathic, don't you? If you are more attentative to her emotional needs she might be more obliging in the bedroom department. You need to talk to her. Massive sulks are not acceptable in anyone past the age of 7yrs old. If you keep up with this childish behaviour it is no wonder your wife does not view you in a sexual way. Act like a man not a prat.

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 19:50

Keep up the ignoring tactic....that'll show her and then everything will change and she'll want sex with you again.

LadyFio · 21/04/2009 19:51

has someone told her you get a fiver for a vibrator from the tooth fairy?

Peachy · 21/04/2009 19:51

As with LittleLamb

if you did have a reasonable issue to discuss you managed to bury it under a lot of left the door open deliberately (er, or forgot) and other things

Perhaps she'd be mroe up for it if she got clitoral stimulation during, before or indeed after sex from you? perhpas that is where the issue lies? but who knows- there's not ewnough info here to work it out other than you dont actually seem to like each other much.

I rpesume you wank? wanking and sex are not the same thing, certainly not if your relationship isnt the best, or you are tired
.

warthog · 21/04/2009 19:51

sounds like you need to fix your relationship before your sex life gets back on track.

stop with the ignoring and sulks for one, and start talking - like a grown up.

Threadworm · 21/04/2009 19:51

You go into your bedroom to check for evidence your wife has masturbated , and when you find it you refuse to cook dinner as a form of revenge?

Mother of god. You are not behaving well towards her. Is she not allowed to masturbate unless she has daily sex with you.

AnyFucker · 21/04/2009 19:51

I am feeling a bit uncomfortable here...

"someguy"

anyfucker

this is nothing to do with me

Overmydeadbody · 21/04/2009 19:52

yawn

If this is a serious post though, it is obvious you are just not satisfying her. Maybe work on your technique?

Original poster
SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 19:52

Like I said, it's not about reasonable amount or not (probably we do it on average less than once a week), it's masturbating instead of sex that I object to.

Maybe I am crap in bed, I dunno, I do though make an effort, which is more than she has ever done TBH.

OP posts:
Peachy · 21/04/2009 19:53

Relatemight like to help you here I think?

Original poster
SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 19:53

AND from your post you dont seem like you dont have sex ... " and in any case we had sex only yesterday,

Sorry, that was her comment about why I shouldn't be complaining that she was refusing to have sex with me.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 21/04/2009 19:54

If she has never made the effort why the hell did you marry her? Did you think the sex fairy would come along and make it all better?

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 19:54

"...which is more than she's ever done...."

How old are you?

I'd masturbate rather than let someone as belligerent as you poke me.

warthog · 21/04/2009 19:54

well the way you talk about her suggests a lot of disrespect and resentment. i think you really need to work on that. no-one wants to have sex with someone who doesn't treat them right.

Overmydeadbody · 21/04/2009 19:54

lol crackfox

littlelamb · 21/04/2009 19:54

Oh fgs
For someone who is coming across as quite a tosser, I find it very hard to believe that you never have a crafty wank. Because that wouldn't be fair on your masturbating wife, oh nooooooo.....

Overmydeadbody · 21/04/2009 19:55

yes why are you with her if she's never made the effort? What kind of a basis for a relationship is that?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 21/04/2009 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SomeGuy · 21/04/2009 19:56

If she has never made the effort why the hell did you marry her? Did you think the sex fairy would come along and make it all better?

She never made an effort but she was keen to do it, passively. Anyway, marriage is not done to have more sex (probably the reverse, so I've heard).

OP posts: