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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Flippin WANKER

173 replies

StercusAccidit · 13/04/2009 15:48

DP has broken my mothers day present from DS2 in a wobbly about not being able to find a screwdriver to fit his xbox controller He had the bloody things modded and spent all morning moaning about them, then the button stuck on one so he asked about the screwdriver he had brought specially for them, i couldn't find it (had a mad tidy up the other day cos his mega fussy dad was coming) so he flipped out.

Fucking tosser pulled the fire surround off the wall as well, AND the gas fire which i will now have to replace because its a council house.
AND pulled a set of shelves off the wall breaking a very old clock and damaging some of my ornaments. WTF is wrong with these people???

I am ANGRY and UPSET about the present from DS...its the first thing i have ever had for mothers day that i didn't have to buy for myself.

He has said he will buy a new one but i said no as it wouldn't be the same.

I'm on the verge of tears as i'm writing this. What a nobber

Why do they always break MY things? My ExP was the same...None of his things got damaged ffs. I didn't trash HIS stuff when i found out he had cheated on me numerous times when i was PG and before as well.
Add to that (haven't left it till last as it isn't important because it IS) when he was chucking this wobbly DS was in his chair on the floor in the living room FFS anything could have hit him i am soooooooo angry what a twat

I feel like i have no one else to talk to posting on here is probably the wrong thing too

I thought he had changed. OBVIOUSLY NOT.

OP posts:
ilovetochat · 13/04/2009 15:50

well if it was me his xbox would be over the back fence by now.
why live with someone who does this infront of a child?

TrillianEAstraEgg · 13/04/2009 15:50

Poor you

What a cock.

Posting on here is not the wrong thing, it's important that you get to talk to someone, but it is very sad that you have no-one who can help you in RL.

At the risk of sounding facetious - don't trash his stuff, sell it on ebay to pay for the things he has wrecked.

AbleSister · 13/04/2009 15:50

why did he do this?

howtotellmum · 13/04/2009 15:50

sorry if I am being dim...but what did he break?

theDreadPirateRabbits · 13/04/2009 15:51

Why do you keep giving him chances Stercus? What's going to be the make or break?

MuffinBaker · 13/04/2009 15:53

You deserve SO much more.

compo · 13/04/2009 15:53

he pulled the gas fire and shelves off the walls because he couldn't find a screwdriver and with a baby in a chair in the same room?

I'd get rid of him if I were you, has he ever hurt you?

howtotellmum · 13/04/2009 15:53

Just ditch him- he sounds completely insane.

Pulling a fire place off the wall> Pulling shelves down? Oh for God's sake.

He needs anger management therapy and you need a life without him.

PlumBumMum · 13/04/2009 15:54

OMG that is so out of order and I'm with ilovetochat I would have lefted the xbox and threw out the door and told him to go with it, he could have killed your ds, what if the fireplace had fell on him?

Shambolic · 13/04/2009 16:02

TBH I would chuck him. That is scary behaviour.

BTW if he has pulled a gas fire off the wall you need to think about if it might be leaking etc...

moondog · 13/04/2009 16:05

Jesus Christ.
Words fail me.
Be warned-he will hurt you or the baby next.

Shambolic · 13/04/2009 16:11

Stercus gas fire has it sprung a leak? I think you should get it seen to...

dittany · 13/04/2009 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesockmonsterofdoom · 13/04/2009 16:15

OMG, get rid he sounds dangerous.

ChippingIn · 13/04/2009 16:16

StercusAccidit - as TheDeadPirateRabbits said - what is it going to take for you to leave?

I really, really hoped things had become better for you, but clearly it was just the lull before the storm.

You (and the DC's) are worth so much more than this complete bastard. FGS get out before he hurts you or them anymore.

Please.

dittany · 13/04/2009 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 13/04/2009 16:19

It won't be, it was diconnected when we put the surround in.

I'm just really pissed off. He hasn't apologised or even seemed sorry.

Not long ago he stormed out taking the DC's with him because i dropped a box because the lid was too big, i grabbed the lid and the box fell, he accused me of throwing it and said 'I don't want my kids seeing that' intimating that i had thrown it in a temper.. so why does he think its ok for DS to see this? And be in the middle of it.

I've totally had enough now. Show their true colours eventually don't they.

OP posts:
Shambolic · 13/04/2009 16:23

Phew was really worried about that gas...

Looks like there is a history of this behaviour which others on the thread know about.

Even based on this one post though, if i were you, i would dump him. There is no place for this violence in the home.

Biscuits4Cheese · 13/04/2009 16:27

What a shit.
I'm sorry for you. but you have responsibility to ensure your child does not have to witness this in their own home.
You might calm down from this and decide to give another chance, as so often happens, but your child relies on you to make their hom a safe and hsppy place. This spoilt brat of a man clearly wont adapt his behaviour so its down to you to choose. does your child deserve this or not?
I'm sorry but in a situation like this BOTH parents/ carers are responsible.

theDreadPirateRabbits · 13/04/2009 16:28

Stercus - it's your house isn't it? Didn't you draw up a list of acceptable behaviour for him? Is it time to throw him out again - maybe this time for good?

If you keep letting him get away with this, and next time one of the DCs does get hurt... How will you feel then?

dittany · 13/04/2009 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianEAstraEgg · 13/04/2009 16:32

I'm normally not a fan of posts saying 'leave him' when the poster doesn't know the full story, but in this case I really can't see why you are still with the guy and I'm going to add my name to the petition. There have been many more incidents like this, IIRC.

Can you tell us why you are still with him Stercus? And can you give us 5 reasons why you want him to stay, even after this?

sososad · 13/04/2009 16:34

. I am so so sorry Stercus. You have been amazing and a real voice of reason on my thread. I thought you and your DP had turned a corner and that he was sorry for everything he had previously done. Do you both still live together or was he there for a visit?

sososad · 13/04/2009 16:36

Forgot to say - you deserve so much better than this treatment. Posting on here is the RIGHT thing to do, you will get so much help and advice on here like I did. Please keep posting

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 13/04/2009 16:43

Yeah, 'tis no point namechanging weak >>

I'm always here whingeing about him. Maybe i shouldn't have accepted the month was up

Which is a shame as he had been really really nice up till this crap. I actually thought 'oooo i've cracked it, now its going to be nice from now on'

Hmph. I am still shocked upset and angry. I was most angry about DS2 seeing all this, and angry at myself for allowing the situation to be possible...

Well IMO this is the dealbreaker..seeing DS in the middle of the living room with all broken bits around him shook the living daylights out of me..the frigging fireplace is marble so not light, and the surround was almost too heavy for me to carry outside by myself, if that had fell on him he would be a goner.
And shouting at me 'You had better shut him fucking up or else'

I KNOW he would not PHYSICALLY hurt me or DS, EVER, but IMO he didn't have to. I was shaking and crying and poor DS was frightened too even though he is only 3 months old.

What a shit weekend and what a CUNT of a so called man.
I really really truly and totally hate him. I just want him to leave

Why does this happen ffs i have never treated him or his kids with any less than love and respect, my ExP was a horrible evil shit and now i'm going through this. When will it stop..what did i do to deserve this?
Where are all the blokes who would just moan as i would about the house being a black hole or something and then start looking for whatever it was that was missing..

I suppose it didn't help that i don't even remember seeing the farkin thing, he said it WAS on the fireplace hence that getting ripped off, then i said it might be in the bag upstairs with the rest of his crap, then i was trying to leave with DS when he came storming down and demanded to know where else it might be..i stupidly pointed at the shelving and after he looked, off the wall it came

My antique clock is chipped (like a marble sort of stuff) but the thing that upset me the most was this little tiny glass/snow globe thing i got for mothers day with 'i love you mummy' on it.

I asked DP where it was and without a flicker of emotion he said 'It got broke' then 'I'll just get you another one'
'It won't be the same though,' i said.

'Ok i won't bother then'

It was only little and silly how come i feel so gutted about it?
He is such a

BASTARD

I've got teatrs just running down my face ffs i'm so pissed off. Why did i forgive him after the last time. Stupid cow And i was smug thinking i'd got it nailed.

OP posts: